Below Deck Recap: That Tuna Is [email protected]#!ed

Is the glass half empty or half full? In Trevor Walker‘s case, the glass totally missing. Last seen, Trevor was left with no drink in hand, courtesy of Ben Robinson flinging it away from him after a crew night out that saw Trevor turn into a drunken, slurry fool. But will the crew of Below Deck even be able to handle Trevor for one more charter? Answer: No.

When Captain Lee Rosbach gets wind of Trevor’s latest antics (and his awesome hair modeling #skillz), the tides shift. But – wait – there’s suddenly a new crew member to hate on now! Sierra Storm, who has been flying under the radar thus far despite her increasing ineptitude as second stew, butts heads this week with Ben when she can’t seem to scrape a simple salad together. Ooh! And there’s a love triangle taking shape as well. (Finally!) And it’s not the trio I expected. (Was it yours?)


After Ben shut Trevor down at the tiki bar, Trevor douchebags his way back to the bus, but not without insulting everyone along the way. It’s to the crew’s credit that they don’t toss his sorry a$$ out of the bus on the ride back, especially after Trevor calls his boss, Kelley Johnson, a “PTSD motherf–ker!” – apparently referencing Kelley’s time in the marines. Kelley does finally draw the line at the ride’s end, ordering Trevor to get a hotel room for the night. He is persona non grata on Valor tonight.


The next morning, Captain Lee gets the lowdown on Trevor’s behavior from Kelley. After he’s briefed, Lee says he wants to hear everyone else’s side of the story. Which he does, one by one. Lauren Burchnell, Nico Scholly, and Ben all sing the same tune: Trevor is an immature idiot who cannot control his liquor. Ben delusionally believes Trevor deserves one more chance though, to which Kate Chastain snarks, “So you want to wait until he kills someone!?”


Next, it’s time for the man, the myth, the millennial himself to share his version of events. Trevor schleps up to the bridge, looking like he was rode hard and put away wet, to face Captain Lee. He doesn’t know what happened last night, he sighs. But he thinks it has something to do with being a hair model. Lee’s like: WHAT THE SH–T!?

Trevor whines that people just don’t understand him! He is a very special boy with very special feelings! He lamely asks Captain Lee for guidance. But Lee doesn’t buy it, so he calls Kelley up to the bridge to deliver his final word. With Kelley present, Lee does what he does best: lays the smack down on Trevor. He says once is a mistake, twice is a pattern, and he knows in his gut that Trevor will screw up a third time. So it’s time for Trevor to pack his stuff and go!


Trevor’s beady eyes, which are even beadier (if that’s possible) due to his massive hangover, seem to slowly register the fact that he’s being fired. Lee suggests that he apologize to the crew on his way out. “That’s bullsh*t, man!” reflects Trevor later, who feels like HE is the one who deserves an apology. And with that, Trevor is set free to wax poetic about his yester-years in Paul Mitchell’s good graces. He packs and scatters faster than Kate can say, “Here’s your laundry.”

At crew breakfast, the deck crew regroup. They are a 3-person team now, but they sort of always have been, so it will be fine. Sierra is the only one who seems sad to see Trevor go. Maybe she was a little sweet on him? Hmm. Speaking of crushes, Nico’s got one on Emily Warburton-Adam.

Time to take a look at the next charter guests! Lee tells Kelley, Kate, and Ben that they are a group of entrepreneurs who became friends through internet connections. One member of the group has food issues. By issues, I mean homegirl only eats air molecules and dust motes. She is literally a chef’s worst nightmare. Even her water must be served at a “pH above 7.5.” Also, the group would like a 12-course meal for their first dinner! Ben is stressed. Kate is too, so she takes off to Skype with her girlfriend, Ro.

Kate also gets to know Sierra a bit better as they turn the boat around for the next charter. Sierra is apparently trying to start a juicing business…because that’s an untapped market. <side eye> Sierra is actually a perfect match for the super picky eater (Carolina) coming aboard, though, so Ben suggests she be her personal chef! Sierra is vacantly agreeable to this proposition. She’s all about that gluten-free, dairy-free, vegan, macrobiotic, paleo, juicing, vinegar-and-lemon-rinds life.

The charter guests climb aboard, take the tour, and relax into their gorgeous new digs. Kate gets a strange vibe from the group, describing them as “D-list Quentin Tarantino characters.” Spot on, Kate. Slow clap to that. “Internet friends” seems to be the super sketchy theme of the season, no?

Valor sets sail while the guests lay out on the sun deck, gloating about how rich they are. Ben is in the galley cranking out lunch as fast as possible so he can concentrate on the 12-course menu ahead of him. As Emily serves lunch, she’s hit on by one of the head charters, who says that if his wife dies, he’d love to get with Emily! Obviously creeped out, Emily disappears below to warn Kate about these slightly deranged people.

But before they can concentrate too much on guest smarminess, there’s another emergency afoot! The hot tub is overflowing! And Sierra’s “special” lemonade sucks! Kelley and Nico take care of the hot tub situation, but Ben still needs Sierra to be his wing woman on tonight’s dinner prep, so he has no choice but to stick with his plan.

The deck crew haul out 64 pool toys for the guests, realizing that being a man down is actually hurting them. But having Trevor off the boat is worth it. #SacrificeForSanity

As Ben plans his menu, he proposes a “really nice salad” with sauteed tuna for Carolina. She can eat that while the other guests are partaking in courses she refuses to eat. Sierra agrees to salad duty, but Kate is afraid that sending Sierra in to help Ben is “like sending a cute little bunny into a rabid lion’s den.” She may be small and cuddly, but she may also be devoured.


As the kitchen gets more chaotic, Ben gets more annoyed with Sierra being, let’s say, a bit slow on the uptake. She can’t differentiate between fish in shells and fish in fins, and she pulls something vaguely looking like flour out of the cabinet at one point, to which Ben barks, “That has GLUTEN in it!!” Essentially, Ben needs someone smarter by his side right now. But he’s stuck with Sierra, so he must make do. He sends her off to make a salad just to get her out of his hair.


Upstairs, Kate begins dinner service for the pack of weirdos aboard while Kelley and Nico chat on another deck about their boat crushes. Uh-oh. They both have the hots for Emily! Kelley admits that while Sierra is very pretty, she’s got the crazy eyes. And the crazy smile. And the crazy brain. He don’t want no cray. Thus, a love triangle has taken shape, and it will be up to Emily to determine who – if either – of these two boys she wants to pursue. Something tells me she’ll pick neither, instead setting her sights on Ben. Maybe we’ll have a quadrangle! (Is that a thing!?)


Lauren is also helping Ben in the kitchen, and is holding up valiantly under pressure. But that salad is juuuust getting started. This salad takes a century for Sierra to assemble. Sierra is in fact making this salad so long, she cannot even remember a time in her life when she was not making this salad. The salad is her Versailles. The salad is LIFE!

Finally, the mythical salad is delivered to Carolina. But she wants to take part in the courses now too! “What the actual f–k?” thinks Ben. What part of “I won’t eat shellfish” did she not mean? Because now, girlfriend wants some conch. Which she gets. To sit idly next to her huge salad.


Down in the galley, Ben prepares course after course, but isn’t happy with his ahi tuna. “That tuna is f–ked!” he rants, refusing to serve it at the last second. Sierra tries to help Ben out, but Ben’s level of grouchiness is a solid 10/10 at this point, so he’s openly snapping at her now. Sierra, to her credit, does seem like she’s really trying her best. It’s just that her best isn’t quite good enough in this high pressure scenario. And Ben’s needling doesn’t help matters.

Upstairs, Carolina tries more actual food! Like food that other people eat! “I’m not picky,” she claims, as if totally unaware of the incredibly picky preference sheet she provided.

In the laundry room, a shirtless Kelley flirts with Emily, who doesn’t seem to pick up on his hints. Kelley is batting zero with this chick. So he pivots to new tactics! But even helping Emily fold laundry (still shirtless) doesn’t seem to do the trick. In the crew mess, Nico is part of the action now too, attempting to win Emily over with his theories of positive vibes. Emily appreciates the male attention, but doesn’t seem to take either of these panting puppies seriously. “It’s very sweet,” she admits.

Despite the drama of the 12-course menu, dinner winds down uneventfully in the end, with the crew cleaning up and the guests leaving full and happy. The only one not happy is Sierra, who’s reached her breaking point. As she washes glasses, she tears up over the stress of the night.

Kate tries to talk her down, and even Ben chimes in that a 12-course meal is brutal. Stress is expected in these scenarios. “If you’re sensitive, stay out of the f–king kitchen!” thinks Ben, who is used to intense kitchen throw downs. What he fails to realize is that Sierra is not used to them – or him – in the slightest. If he expects every woman to spar with him like Kate expertly does, he’s in for many more crying jags in the future.


Photo Credit: Bravo