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So last week on Teen Mom 2, we were left with the ever frustrating “To Be Continued…..” as Kailyn Lowry proclaimed to soon-to-be ex-husband Javi Marroquin that “sometimes you need to hurt people to make yourself happy.” That seems to sum up Kail pretty nicely but hey, at least girlfriend is staying true to herself. Naturally, Javi can’t leave on that note and after storming out, he storms right back in – without knocking!!!! Take that, Kail!

When Javi does come back in, he doesn’t get the warmest welcome and Kail immediately tells him to get out. Javi plops down on the couch and says he doesn’t want to fight anymore. Kail insists that she doesn’t want to make their divorce about them, it’s about Lincoln. No, sweetie, your divorce is about your marriage, not your child but nice try to get out of dealing with whatever problems you guys did have that led up to this point. After brow beating Javi some more, he is finally worn down to the point of getting teary and realizes he won’t get through to Kail at all. He asks if they can leave today on good terms and co-parent together. “That’s up to you” Kail snaps back. On to the reunion!

Once on set in L.A., all the girls are commingling together and catching up. Chelsea Houska and Cole DeBoer are officially married and despite her newlywed/pregnancy glow, Chelsea is sick and exhausted by the time she arrives. Our other resident preggo, Jenelle Evans and Baby Daddy of the Moment David Eason are there, ready to be “civil” with Barb, but can’t even wait 30 seconds after saying that to mock her for wanting camera time. Leah Messer arrives safely to the reunion and unpacks her boobs in her dressing room. You know, the little chicken cutlet kind.

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When Kail sees both Jenelle and Chelsea, she fawns over their baby bumps, blowing on them, touching them and citing “baby fever”. Girl, you have enough problems but now we obviously know that she must have really had the fever since she’s actually pregnant now.

Here are there, we get sneak peeks of the reunion but most of the action is happening back stage. After Jenelle and Barb’s segment where they fight for (what else?) custody of Jace, Jenelle storms off set and cries to David back stage that she has this deep seeded pain of not being loved enough that stems all the way back to Barb barely even playing a game of Yatzee with her as a child. The producers come in to try and comfort Jenelle but she’s too far into diva mode to care.

As producer Kristen actually has a seat on the couch to talk to Kail for a few brief minutes, she gets word on her radio that Jenelle is taking off and she has to run out after her. Literally runs (and probably makes a mental note to start applying to other jobs the second this reunion is over). As they walk off the grounds, Jenelle yells about how sick she is and David insists that nothing else matters but Jenelle feeling OK (for the baby’s sake). Finally, Jenelle musters up the strength *SARCASM* to scream at the producers about how she won’t do another season if Barb is on the show then goes right back to whining about how she doesn’t feel well.

It’s all hands on deck for a Code Jenelle Freak Out and multiple producers are chasing after her, hand delivering smoothies and calling Ubers while Jenelle makes her dying wish: that Barb is booted from the show or she won’t do another season. She blames production and the show for Barb not giving Jace back and no one tells her how dumb she sounds. I know, I know, they get paid to produce a show, not to tell Jenelle she is an insufferable a-hole.

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As she gets into the SUV to go to the hotel, producers try one last ditch effort to stop them, causing David to count to five and jump out of the car to physically threaten the guys blocking their path to leave. Barb finally catches wind as to what’s going on and realizes they took Jace with them. The police are called and Barb is freaking out about David for taking control over the situation.

The harried producers have another issue to deal with: Chelsea is sick backstage and can’t shoot the intro. Since she has a fever, they send her to the hotel to rest and Cole smuggles every last water bottle he can hold back with them. Because no one should have to pay for mini bar water.

Teen Moms are dropping like flies off this reunion but we press on.

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Barb is being shuttled to the hotel with Producer Kristen, who has aged ten years in two hours. Once at the hotel where Jenelle is holding Jace hostage, Barb chain smokes and cries outside while Kristen texts Jenelle about getting Jace back. Now Jenelle agrees he can go with Barb but she has to get him. Barb refuses and demands he comes down. GOOD LORD, PEOPLE JUST MAKE THE EXCHANGE ALREADY! The pettiness is so real! Finally, David walks Jace down to the lobby and Barb points a menacing cigarette at him, saying he’s going to jail before he has a chance to retreat back to Jenelle’s lair.

Just when you think it’s over, Jenelle yells from her balcony, like a rogue Juliette calling down to Romeo. Except instead of it being a romantic Shakespearean tale, Jenelle is telling Kristen to pick up her damn phone to get yelled at some more. When she does, Jenelle screams at her that she is changing her flight and going home NOW.

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Back on stage, where an actual reunion is supposed to be happening, Vee and her amazing hair make an appearance so she can talk about why she thinks Jo should ask for 50/50 custody. Kail cries and says it’s not her place to ask, which she didn’t. Back in her dressing room, Kail rants that Vee has only been to TWO of Isaac’s soccer games so has no room to judge. OK, then. When Jo goes to talk to her, Kail swears that Vee doesn’t have a place in this matter but unfortunately, Vee is engaged and has a kid with her ex so she does have a place, just like Jo allows Javi to have a place with Isaac. Graciously, Vee goes into Kail’s dressing room to hash it out and gets the usual stonewall from Kail.

This is DAY ONE of the reunion, guys. Let that sink in for a minute and check out my recap of the actual reunion itself!

TELL US – IS JENELLE OVERREACTING? IS KAIL?

Photo Credit: MTV

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