If we have learned anything from the Real Housewives, it’s that game night will never end well. The Real Housewives of Potomac and in particular, Monique FOUR HOUSES Samuels, definitely did not get this memo when she decides to host her own version of game night at her house. What was supposed to be a simple evening of playing spades and eating some BBQ food that she may or may not have cooked, has turned into another debacle, maybe not of the Kim Richards magnitude, but since we were left with a “to be continued”, one can’t really be sure at this point.
Poor Monique can’t understand why everyone in Potomac is 1) so bougie and 2) judges her. Ok, so we are on this again. While Miss Mo gripes about the bougie-ness of Potomac, she does probably the most bougie thing I can think of: shop for décor for her game night with her cousin/assistant and an event planner. Who needs a party planner for a BBQ game night of playing spades? Surely not a down to earth person like Monique, who snipes that she knows people with way bigger banks accounts who don’t act as bougie as the women of Potomac. And this is the problem (OK, just one of them) I have with poor Miss Mo – she is so fixated on defending herself against those who she thinks are judging her, she can’t even see how judgy she is being herself.
Charrisse Jackson-Jordan is still reinventing herself now that she is in the midst of a divorce. Part of that reinvention means that she will have to cut ties with the National Basketball Wives Association (which is actually a thing!), which she has been a part of for nineteen years and is currently the President of. She doesn’t feel right being a part of the organization when she will no longer official be a basketball wife but before she goes, she wants to host one last event to…..ummm…I have no idea? What does the National Basketball Wives Association DO exactly? Do they provide a safe haven for basketball wives who don’t want to be on reality TV or maybe they provide important basketball education to those marrying a basketball player? Damned if I know but Cha Cha is holding a party and rich people will be in attendance.
One person who doesn’t mind attending, wife or not, is Robyn Dixon, of the ever-complicated marriage/not marriage to basketball player, Juan Dixon. Monique and her “celebrity” husband are also in attendance, in matching doo doo brown outfits. As Charrisse wistfully mingles through the crowd, Robyn is stuck talking to Monique, who won’t stop yammering about anything and everything, including how she potty trained her six month old because you know, people don’t give babies enough credit. I actually have a six month old and I can assure you, I would give him plenty of credit if he had to put up with me trying to force him out of diapers at this age.
As if that wasn’t painful enough, it’s time for Charrisse to give a farewell speech and it’s a doozy – she rambles on to her guests about rebranding herself, going into a new chapter of her life and how she is going to drop one of her last names. Robyn, along with everyone else, is internally begging Charrisse to stop, or at least, get to the point of why they are all there. She sums up her bizarre speech with a cheers and everyone scampers off to eat before she can rebrand again.
Ashley Darby is still toiling away at her restaurant Oz. Since no one wants to throw another shrimp on the barby and pay to eat there, Ashley is enlisting the help of Robyn, who happens to know a thing or two about PR. They sit down, Ashley prepared with a pen and clip board (which I was half expecting to be a trapper keeper and pencil with a pink poof on the top) to take notes and Robyn rattles off some ideas. Her first idea is to change the damn menu because the reviews are horrible. The next one is to get some shirtless men and host a gay pride event. I’m sure Robyn is a great PR person but I doubt even the Thunder from Down Under could help Oz at this point.
Despite the fact that Robyn is taking up her personal time to help Ashley with her school project, Ashley uses this opportunity to pry into Robyn’s personal life and ask her what’s going on with her husband/not husband Juan. Robyn makes it clear it’s none of her business but Ashley makes a final observation, saying that Robyn could be sailing the world in a yacht with a man who values her. Or you could be like Ashley and have your husband give you a restaurant to play with while acting like your dad. The truth behind all of Ashley’s pushing is that she is sitting on some information as big as the Great Barrier Reef – that a woman recently came into Oz talking about how Juan was seeing someone else. I’m more shocked that someone came into Oz but yeah, Juan dating someone else is big too. But true to Ashley’s immaturity, she doesn’t know how to handle this information and instead of telling Robyn while she has the chance, she needles her about her situation and then ends up telling Gizelle Bryant instead (more on that later).
Karen Huger has a look-alike sister named Bridget, who not only looks like her and has the same lip purse to match, but is the only woman the Grande Dame will bow down to. Bridget takes care of their ailing mother and does a damn good job so Karen is forever grateful for that. But it doesn’t mean Karen will stop being Karen and it’s fun to watch them bicker back and forth over the details of their mother’s seventieth birthday lunch. The family meets for lunch and we are entertained with stories of Karen before she started calling herself the Grande Dame of Potomac. The Black Bill Gates claims he first set eyes on Karen chopping tobacco in a field on her farm and her mother shares that Karen once threw her sister into a dresser to steal her fake fur coat. My only regret with this segment is that we didn’t get to hear more stories like this.
Gizelle had a makeup line we all forgot about but surprise! It’s almost done now and she’s gearing up for its release. She’s pleased to let us know she named it Every Hue Beauty when I think it would be more appropriately named Finally! Beauty. Gizelle meets her friends and/or business associates out to lunch to discuss the details of the line. One of them is her old sorority sister, who tells us her first meeting with Gizelle back in college included murder threats as part of her hazing. Fun! Unlike clothing lines, cook books, donkey booty DVDs and toaster ovens of past, Gizelle believes this business will work and swears failure isn’t an option. I bet you one Kim Zolciak wig and one Vicki Gunvalson bacon flavored bottle of vodka that doesn’t happen. Any takers?
On to the big game night. The Housewives arrive and Gizelle has brought her friend/hairdresser Kal along. You might remember him from the infamous Crab Boil of season one, where he helped Gizelle get kicked out of Charrisse’s house. As everyone hangs around the food, Gizelle teases Monique about not making it all and Miss Mo responds a little too defensively, so you know this will go down in no time. As Gizelle and Kal talked in hushed tones over their plates, Monique exits to her patio and Kal makes a comment about how Monique never stops talking. What they didn’t realize is that Monique’s pal Gigi has been enlisted to do Monique’s dirty work, or who knows, maybe she is just taking it upon herself to absorb her friend’s sense of over-inflated self-importance. Gigi immediately confronts them and asks what they were whispering about. When Kal tells her it’s nothing to get her panties in a bunch about, she informs them she doesn’t wear any. I see we have an Erika Jayne fan in the house! Anyway, Gigi informs them that it’s disrespectful to whisper in someone else’s house (ummm since when?), which seems a bit rich considering it’s not even her house.
Monique comes in and Gigi immediately tells her what’s going on. Miss Mo lectures Gizelle and Kal about being invited into her house and when you’re invited into her house, you become family. That seems like a lot of pressure for someone just coming over to eat some BBQ. New family member Ashley uses this moment to come in and talk to Gizelle about the Juan rumors she is hearing. Monique stomps out, saying she doesn’t want to hear gossip and Gizelle didn’t want to discuss it in front of the person who talks too much anyway. Another friend immediately runs outside to tell Monique and well, this is embarrassing for Monique – you’re a grown woman in your own house and you have all of your friends tattling on what your guests are saying. Who cares??? But Monique literally can’t help herself and stomps back in to confront Gizelle, demanding to know what her problem is with her. Gizelle does what she does best – remains calm and makes whoever is coming for her look foolish. Now look, I don’t totally agree with Gizelle’s grown up sorority girl hazing but Miss Mo is an easy target with all of her bragging and assertions that everyone is just jealous of her and her lifestyle. That may be but the one thing Gizelle has that Monique doesn’t is the self-confidence to not be so overly bothered whenever someone says anything about you at all.
Gizelle is told she can leave and with that, she picks up her bag and exits, without any issue. Monique fumes, telling everyone what happened while stabbing at her food.
But the drama isn’t over and as Gizelle sits in her car in the driveway, she tells Robyn about what Ashley said and Robyn tells Ashley Juan can see who he wants. Charrisse shows up and immediately breaks down, not feeling very Cha Cha that day. The ladies rally around her and Charrisse could use a laugh so asks why Gizelle got kicked out. Monique’s insecurity perks up as she hears someone possibly talking about her again and heads to the driveway for round two. Now we have to wait until next week to find out what happens!
TELL US – WAS IT RIGHT OF MONIQUE TO KICK GIZELLE OUT OF THE PARTY? ARE YOU LIKING NEWBIE MONIQUE SO FAR?
Photo Credit: Bravo TV