As last night’s Dance Moms begins, Abby Lee Miller is no where to be seen. She’s two days away from her sentencing, and traipsing around Europe. Is it my birthday? It’s the greatest gift, for sure. Ashlee is is thrilled to bring in Laureanne Gibson, a choreographer and life-changer for stars like Lady Gaga, Beyonce, the Jonas Brothers, and Demi Lavato. Google her, y’all. She’s so tickled to get to work with young dancers and take a break from P. Diddy (Puff Daddy?) and Katy Perry to get the ALDC off their cuckoo for cocoa puffs hamster wheel. Laurieanne has won Emmys and MTV awards, she is ready to break down the monotony of the dance competition world. As she spouts off her resume and accolades and star proteges, Kira interrupts to remind her that this group is on a time frame. Laurieanne questions whether Abby has held back any of the dancers, and hands go up all over the room.
Nia tears up remembering how hard Abby was on her when she embarked on her music career. But guess what? Laurieanne is faster, stronger, better. She’s time, people. Like, literally, she said she’s not worried about time because she IS time. While I’m wrapping my head around this admission, I realize I’m just thrilled to be without the pyramid. When she dismisses the mothers, I’m like, Boom. She’s cray, but I love it.
Laurieanne preaches to her new tribe about bullying and oppression when discussing the group dance. She concedes that Abby is a brilliant business woman (aside from that whole jail situation), but Abby has lost sight of the girls. The mothers are in awe. They tout her as a life changer, but she soon has Kendall in tears as she berates her for being lazy. Damn. However, Laurieanne quickly turns it into a teaching moment, having Kendall scream that she’s not lazy. Kendall’s tears dissolve into a somewhat confident smile. Jill is pleased.
Across town, Christi is driving Chloe Lukasiak to her new studio as Chloe recalls how much she misses competing. She isn’t keen on going up against her friends, and Christi hopes that one day she can join her old team. Of course, that is what she says, but Christi is really, “game on, bitches” when thinking about Chloe upping her old teammates at this week’s competition. At ALDC, Laurieanne is letting the girls strut their stuff and showcase their skills with some freestyle in order to pick her soloists. she praises the moms for their daughters’ talents. The fresh choreographer laments her difficult decision before granting two new girls (Camryn and Maesi) and Nia with solos. Holly hopes that an emotional Nia will fare well with her new teacher. Across town, Christi is a bit concerned about how rusty Chloe is, but Chloe is determined.
As the moms wait in the viewing room, Ashlee is appalled to learn that Abby’s sentencing has yet again been postponed indefinitely. Holly huffs that she’s annoyed as a tax payer. Comment of the night! All the mothers realize that this revelation means Abby could show up at any moment and freak out about their choice to bring in a new instructor. Abby’s mantra is “everyone is replaceable” so hopefully she will understand. Sure she will. As Nia rehearses her “No Regrets” solo, Holly bursts with pride. Laurieanne attempts to break Nia like a victim of Stockholm Syndrome as the mothers sit in awe of Laurieanne’s hands on technique. However, as soon as Maesi starts practicing her “Black Sheep” solo, the mothers turn quickly. Maesi is no black sheep…she’s had ample opportunities under Abby. Holly takes a break from hating on Maesi’s mother (and her hair, if I’m honest) to take a phone call from Christi. Jill is livid to learn that Christi has her daughter competing against ALDC’s biggest rival. Holly hopes her friendship with Christi won’t put her in a position to choose sides because there is a lot of bad blood with the other veteran mothers.
Kalani, Nia, Kendall, and Brynn decide to grab some coffee and have some girl time. They share scripted conversations about what a great influence Laurieanne is and what an amazing learning experience this will be…but they are a tad bit worried they’ve only made it through one eight-count of the group number. The girls hope that things will be normal with Chloe when they see her, but it’s been a long time and things ended badly between Christi and Abby. Their rift trickled down to the girls as Christi hasn’t really let Chloe maintain relationships with her former teammates. As Camryn practices, her mother gets a tad too big for her britches and asserts that no one pays attention to the ALDC. If they did, her daughter would already be famous from being scouted. Kira bristles which leads to the obvious, “you’re just jealous my daughter has a solo and yours doesn’t” argument. Laurieanne immediately intervenes to stop the madness, but she side eyes Camryn’s mother when she learns the comment that started the kerfuffle. Maybe if Camryn could follow her instruction, her side eye implies.
Chloe is rehearsing with her new team, and she’s timid with her steps. This group has been together for a long time, and she’s messing up the small things–and getting called out by her new instructor. Chloe needs to figure out how to look like she’s been dancing with this troupe for years. When the team starts chanting, Chloe runs off in tears. She’s not a chanter. She misses her friends and wishes she was dancing with them. At the ALDC studio, the moms worry that so much emphasis on the group’s eight-count may create a random dance. Camryn’s mom gets back into the mothers’ good graces by finding some dirt on Abby on the Internet. The judge needed to postpone the sentencing, and Abby agreed as she has business dealings to tend to in Cancun. The moms are floored. Abby has no intention of returning to their girls. Color me shocked.
At competition, Holly feels strange walking in with a new choreographer and the awkwardness of facing Christi. Laurieanne attempts to pump up the girls, but she’s interrupted by some sort of antagonistic speech from Christi. It’s the perfect opportunity for Chloe’s new coach to gift her new dancer with a jacket. Laurieanne wants to know what beef Christi has, and Christi unleashes that the only girl who reached out to Chloe in the aftermath with Abby was Nia. Jill swears up and down that Kendall reached out as well, but Christi calls Kendall a liar who purported on social media that she tried to connect with Chloe to no response. Cue Kendall’s tears. Cue Jill’s screeching. Cue Christi’s cussing. Laurieanne steps in front of the women, and Chloe breaks away from her mother in tears. These poor girls. They’d all still be besties but for their ridiculous dance moms!
TELL US – THOUGHTS ON LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF LAURIEANNE?
Photo Credit: Lifetime