Y’all, cheers to a fresh 2018! What better way to kick off the new year than with Kody Brown’s lustrous lion mane and TLC’s gift that keeps on giving…Sister Wives! As the kids age, the family has no shortage of cringe-worthy courting and mama drama to last well into the next decade. How exciting is that?!?! There are so many more children to marry off or alienate. Meri and Janelle have yet to run screaming from the cul-de-sac compound. I still haven’t figured out what concoction of happy pills are in Christine’s medicine cabinet. Endless story lines. Endless.
Christine is fixing a feast as the Browns prepare to meet Tony’s family. Kody and Christine are nervous because Tony’s parents speak very little English. In fact, Christine is in full blown panic mode because she didn’t publicly accept Tony when she first met him. What will Tony’s mother think after Christine initially disapproved of Mykelti’s relationship with her son? Of course, now Christine welcomes Tony with open arms, but still…yikes. Tony admits that his mom is freaking out too. It is nerve racking to meet such a big family! Christine jokes that Tony believes Kody has four wives so he can relax while they do all the work. Wait, are we sure he’s kidding?
Interrogating Tony about his family, Kody announces there is nothing more awkward than a language barrier. False. Naked men are more awkward according to Tony. Christine questions if Tony’s family has any experiences with polygamy. While they haven’t, he has explained the family dynamic. Tony shares that some of his family members consider Kody to be an idol for having four women. Kody retracts his earlier statement about language barriers. Clearly macho stereotypes translate across cultures.
The wives are scrambling to put multiple giant tables together in Christine’s living area, but it is a tight squeeze to fit all of their guests at one long table. Robyn is distraught. She is a premiere hostess, and there is no room for error when her family is trying to put on their best dinner party to welcome Tony’s crew. Kody is stressing about dividing up the tables. He threatens to walk out of the meal because of the close quarters. How can all of these people eat shoulder to shoulder? Mykelti correctly diagnoses the table stress as anxiety about meeting Tony’s family. She just keeps setting the table and hoping for the best.
Kody quickly retreats from the table engineering to play host to Tony’s arriving family. Christine is in awe of Tony’s mother’s beauty and kindness. She is kicking herself for forgetting the universal language of hugging. Tony quickly interrupts the love fest to make an inappropriate joke about polygamy in Spanish. Apparently, Tony’s role is that of the awkward, pot-stirring jester. I’d say that’s about right!
Kody takes several minutes to drone on in a toast while everyone fidgets in their too close for comfort chairs. Robyn differentiates the meat and vegetarian lasagnas by cheese type and asks Tony to translate for his family. He tells them there is lasagna and lasagna. Bon appetite! Robyn wants to hear stories of Tony’s childhood which forces Christine to interject with a story about six-year-old Mykelti who couldn’t keep her hands to herself because she was a minion of Satan. The Browns are clearly mastering In-Laws 101.
Tony’s mother changes the subject to say that Mykelti makes her home a happy place. Christine teases that her daughter and Tony are straight up chaos in her home. Just kidding, she screeches across the table–this dinner is amazing. After everyone finishes eating, the men and Mykelti migrate to the den to commentate on the women doing the dishes. Kody recognizes that Tony has very traditional gender roles, but he’s got his hands full if the thinks Mykelti will clean up after him during their marriage.
Mykelti wrangles the youngest of the Brown clan to ask if they will serve as flower girls and ring bearer. Truely isn’t excited about her role given she just hung up her rose petal basket from Madison’s wedding. As the evening draws to a close, Kody waxes poetic about whether his loins will come out of retirement for another child. Christine is thrilled to see Mykelti’s bond with Tony’s mother. while she hopes the young couple will wait until they are more financially stable to start their family, she’s ready for a grand baby. Both Tony’s family and the Browns leave the dinner excited about the upcoming nuptials.
While the Brown clan seems to be growing, Meri is considering a big purchase…a bed and breakfast that was once owned by her great-great grandparents but was sold out of the family. She’s been conspiring with Christine’s mom Annie in hopes of buying it back. Their plan is to have Annie live in the home and continue to run the business. The seller asks for a history of the original owners while giving a tour. Meri is keeping her plans a secret to see if it is feasible, and she is concerned her family will not be supportive of the idea. The home doubles as a wedding venue, so perhaps she can save Christine some money on Mykelti’s big day…or any of the other gaggle of children who may one day get married. I haven’t seen Meri this excited since she got her wet bar. Annie is completely on board at the prospect of becoming business partners with Meri as the women giggle about the possible opportunity.
The following day, Meri calls Robyn over to her home to discuss the option of opening the bed and breakfast. She feels that Robyn is her most rational and supportive sister wives. Mariah enters in the middle of their conversation, and it’s clear their relationship is still very strained, especially after Mariah came out as homosexual to her family. As Meri explains further her plans for the bed and breakfast in the home her grandmother grew up in, Robyn is concerned with how often Meri will be away from the family. Meri shares that Annie will run the business, but Mariah asks the realistic questions. How will her mother afford it?
Robyn worries that the physical distance of the bed and breakfast will be Meri‘s escape. After Meri’s catfishing incident, Meri became very distant from Robyn which allowed Robyn to cultivate a closer friendship with Christine. She hopes that by supporting Meri’s new dream, she can prove she’s still a good friend to her as well. Meri can’t even discuss Robyn’s closeness with Christine. Her feelings on their bond is the opposite of a wet bar. Robyn coaches Meri on how to manage her expectations when pitching the idea to Kody and the other wives.
Given that Mykelti and Tony are racing to the altar, the couple has to nail down a wedding venue stat. Sorry, Meri! Kody, the wives, maid-of-honor Aspyn, and the happy couple go to check out some event spaces, and look! There’s Janelle! She quietly speaks on the number of people at Maddie’s wedding in comparison to Mykelti’s guest list. It will be a dry event, and Tony is tasked with making sure his relatives don’t sneak in any six packs. The group is quickly learning that Tony is going to be the bridezilla with his color schemes and lantern ideas. She’s only had thirty seconds of screen time, but I already feel so sorry for the wedding planner if she wins this gig. Kody is shocked to learn the couple is banking on four hundred guests. Do they know how expensive that will be? Meri isn’t saying anything, but you know she hopes this wedding isn’t going to be cutting into her bed and breakfast fund.
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S SISTER WIVES PREMIERE? IS TONY A BRIDEZILLA? IS THE B&B MERI’S ESCAPE PLAN? WILL WE SEE JANELLE AT ALL THIS SEASON?
[Photo Credit: TLC]