Real Housewives Of Miami Recap: Who Said That? Hamptons Edition

We might be seven episodes in, but the drama in Miami was too hot for us to not recap! The revival of Real Housewives of Miami is truly starting to heat up, so naturally we have to MENTION IT ALL. Thank you Peacock for making dreams come true and bringing these ladies (and some new ones) back to our screens.

The latest episode immediately picks up with a tense conversation between Dr. Nicole Martin and her father. He’s never really been there for her throughout her life, but she’s making an attempt. At least for her young son’s sake, she’s trying to rectify this relationship.

However, her father’s already making things difficult at this lunch. He’s old as hell and talking about having more kids. That’s not even the real issue. The issue here is his lack of availability in his current children’s lives. He’s not a present father, so why the hell would Nicole be supportive of this plan. He shouldn’t be at all surprised that she’s now jumping up and down at this asinine plan.

Nicole’s trying to get her father to realize the lack of importance of the material items from her childhood. Being emotionally there for her is what she’s looking for. He’s making it clear he’s not going to change. He has no desire to alter his lifestyle. It’s sad really.

Nicole calls him out for showing up to their sit down intoxicated, and she’s not wrong. He can’t even get the word out. This display is an insult to her because she’s taking time out of her life to mend this. She’s not the one who should be chasing after him. That is NEVER supposed to be the job of the child. He is the parent and should take the initiative to fix it on his own.

Her father tries telling her she’s beautiful, but that enrages her even more. She’s done. She’s out. This lunch came to a quick crash and burn. What’s she supposed to do with what he’s giving her to work with? She’s only setting herself up for further disappointment if she continues to chase him to fix things.

In the car, Nicole calls her mother to tell her about the disaster lunch. She tearfully tells her she’s the only parent she needs. At least she tried. At the end of the day, she can rest comfortably at night knowing she tried to make it work. Her father however cannot say the same.

Larsa Pippen Real Housewives Of Miami

Larsa Pippen’s Hamptons trip is finally coming up, and something tells me the drama’s going to kick off. The drama aspect that we know and love on Housewives hasn’t been fully present this season. Some minor moments have gone down, but this trip might be the tipping point. Regardless of the lack of drama, these girls are delivering in this revival. Excellent choice bringing it back!

Nicole’s looking forward to the trip as a way to getaway from her daddy issues. That entire experience was draining, and she’s ready to let loose and move on. Honey, have you never watched Housewives before? There’s nothing about a Housewives girl’s trip that’s even remotely relaxing. This is the time for everyone to end up in the hot seat and start some drama shit. Don’t be naive.

At home, Larsa’s trying to speak to her son, but he won’t make the time for her. It’s really depressing to watch Larsa make an attempt to connect with her child and get shut down. He’s not interested in speaking with her, and the scene is painful to watch. Cringe central.

The girls don’t seem aware about having to share rooms. Historically across the Housewives, room selections are already a chaotic event. Being unaware about sharing a bed with another woman might chaos some unwelcome ruckus.

Adriana de Moura Real Housewives Of Miami

Adriana de Moura & Julia Lemigova immediately attempt to claim the master bedroom as their own. I understand they’ve got a unique flirtatious relationship going on, but they aren’t an actual couple. Larsa’s organizing the trip, so naturally the master suite should go to her. It’s simply proper etiquette.

Adriana’s VERY free this season, and she’s taking it to the next level in this episode. It doesn’t take her long to strip naked in the master bathroom to claim the tub as her own. Boundaries anyone? The group’s about to entire the master, and she’s NAKED in Larsa’s bathroom. We love exploring our bodies, but perhaps not in someone else’s room?

Larsa calls Adriana’s behavior “so aggressive”, and she’s not wrong. It’s a bit much. The trip’s only just begun, and you’re pulling stunts like that. What’re you trying to prove? Are you trying to reinvent yourself? How embarrassing it must be to pull out all the stops like this but still land a “friend” role. That’s tough.

Larsa asks Lisa Hochstein if she’s sharing a room with Guerdy Abraira, and the attitude is REAL. Lisa’s not willing to share a room with anyone. Under no circumstance is she willing to share a bed with anyone on this trip. Larsa offers to bring Lisa her own bed to whatever room she ultimately selects, but it’s not good enough. She’s not trying to compromise with this one.

Whatever crawled into Lisa on this trip is a major buzzkill. Lisa’s killing the vibe by not being a team player like the rest of the women. She’s questioning Larsa for staying alone in the master suite, but she did the same in the last episode. She’s not sharing a room or a bed or anything. Why even go on the trip then? If you’re going to be a complete ass over something so trivial, why bother going on a girls trip.

Alexia Echevarria steps in and tells Lisa she’s not listening to what Larsa’s staying. There’s no option to have her own room. Tough it out, or go the fuck home. Is that wrong to say? Lisa’s pissed at Alexia and wants to know why she’s getting snippy with her. Is it being snippy if she’s simply orating straight facts in your direction? I’m still trying to decipher how Lisa got a full-time role this season. She’s boring and bringing absolutely nothing besides the results of decent plastic surgery.

Alexia warns Lisa not to turn things around and flip the script on her. Meanwhile, Adriana doesn’t think the women quite understand the pecking order. Larsa dipped on the group for a decade and wants to come back and claim a title of Queen Bee. I get that logic, but part of me wonders if without Larsa’s Kardashian fame if these ladies would get this reboot at all. They might owe her for their new Peacock checks.

Alexia Echevarria Real Housewives Of Miami

Why is this situation turning into a fight between Alexia & Lisa? Lisa’s clearly unapologetic, so I’m not certain why Alexia’s even bothering to continue conversing with her. In the room, Alexia tries to speak to Lisa again, but Lisa’s not liking the tone directed at her. Lisa storms off to use the restroom, but everyone’s trying to get a further reaction from her.

Nicole sticks her nose in the situation (surprise surprise), and things only get worse. Who is Nicole to school Alexia on how to speak to her friend of a decade? Nicole’s been in this group for two seconds and already probably can’t be trusted. Nobody cares what you do in your friendships because it’s probably bs. She seems the type to stab you in the back out of nowhere with no case in the world.

Nicole tells Alexia she’s been snappy with everyone lately. I get that. Alexia’s had a lot on her plate. All of the women have. They’re probably projecting their own crappy personal lives onto each other. However, Nicole might be on to something. Alexia is a little rude and judgmental for someone who has a toxic home life. Her fiance and her son hate each other most of the time, so maybe she should sit back and reflect on her own behavior.

Does Alexia get a free pass just because her wedding location fell through? You don’t get to rampage on your friends because you’re going through some shit. Let’s not make excuses for yourself. She has no apologies for her attitude either. “I love that about myself”. Yeah, it’s not a good look.

Marysol Patton’s wheels are spinning in her head. You can already tell she’s looking for a way to come after Nicole since she challenged her best friend. This is the petty and vindictive stuff that makes Housewives so addicting! LIVING FOR IT.

Dr. Nicole Martin Real Housewives Of Miami

Everyone’s so pressed about Lisa bringing her own hairstylist on the trip. They would hate Beverly Hills because all of them bring their own glam squads on trips. It isn’t that weird for Lisa to want someone from home to do her hair. Out of everything they could be pissed about regarding her, this is the least of their concerns. Pick your battles.

At dinner Marysol suggests playing a game with the women about who they trust the least. Here we go! Living for Marysol in this messy friend role. Lisa won’t take the bait. She won’t say anything positive or negative. She’s so f**king dry. Can she NOT come back next season?

Marysol decides to play her own game first and expresses her distrust of Nicole. She accuses Nicole of talking shit about both Larsa & Lisa. Apparently she made fun of Lisa’s home with her husband. OOF. Marysol’s enacting the perfect revenge on Nicole for the way she came at Alexia earlier.

Marysol won’t give many examples, so I’m wondering if there’s any truth to it. The one example she gives about Larsa is that Nicole called her a hooker. Here we go! Nicole’s being called out for being fake, and I’m not sure who or what to believe. Everyone’s swearing on their children here, and it’s so messy.

Marysol’s ready to take Nicole down at this dinner. Larsa isn’t too far behind. Larsa reveals to everyone at the table that Nicole left her previous man for her current one simply because he had more money in the bank. The drama level at this dinner is palpable. We’ve got accusations of being a hooker and gold digger being thrown out at people. Miami’s heating up!

Nicole refutes Larsa’s claims, but I worry Nicole’s on the verge of being iced out of this group. Poor Guerdy has no idea what’s happening because she’s not even there yet. By the time she arrives, nobody in the group will be on good terms. That’s where this dinner from hell is headed.

Marysol Patton Real Housewives Of Miami

Alexia uses Nicole’s newly agitated state against her because of what happened earlier in the day. It’s coming across like Alexia & Marysol came to this dinner with the intent on totally destroying Nicole. She dared to challenge Alexia one time, and now she’s being stoked over the flames. It’s making me question by love for them. It really is.

Levelheaded Julia doesn’t understand why everyone’s throwing Nicole under the bus. Nobody is perfect. Larsa’s shady as hell for dragging Nicole’s child into this because she had him out of wedlock. Do you even realize who you were befriending in California? How many of them have were unmarried when they had their children? I know they rejected you, but you still didn’t keep this energy with them.

Lisa tries to sort of stick up for Nicole, but now Larsa’s turning on her. She tells her to stay out of it like she normally does and calls her out for switching sides. Does anyone in this group have any true allegiances? Everyone’s turning on each other every two seconds at this dinner. Great episode so far!

Nicole’s had enough and says she’s bored in her life and needs to find ways to make herself relevant. Get ready for the latest possible instance of backstabbing because Nicole accuses Alexia of trashing Marysol. She says Alexia is saying Marysol only got married to make herself relevant. WOAH NOW.

No matter how hard Alexia denies it, Nicole’s standing firmly behind this and swearing on her son. She’s being completely blindsided at this dinner, and it’s hard to know who is telling the truth. Honestly, I believe all of them. They probably all talk shit about each other behind their backs. So it’s likely all true.


[Photo Credit: Bravo]