SUMMER HOUSE: MARTHA’S VINEYARD -- Season:1 -- Pictured: (l-r) Jordan Emanuel, Amir Lancaster, Jason Lyke, Shanice Henderson, Summer Marie Thomas, Bria Fleming, Nick Arrington, Alex Tyree, Preston Mitchum, Silas Cooper -- (Photo by: Stephanie Diani/Bravo)

Summer House: Martha’s Vineyard Episode 1 Recap: Playboy and Pledges

Bravo aired the premiere of Summer House: Martha’s Vineyard last night. What can I say, what can I say? I’ll start with – I like the intro. And whoever cuts the music! But, I am on the fence about the rest for now.

We start by seeing everyone jet off because the only way to get to the Vineyard is by air or sea. It appears as if everyone braves the small airplanes, and we’re introduced to each person (well, almost everyone) upon arriving! The share house is nice! And doesn’t appear to have the same zoning issues as Summer House: Montauk.

We get to meet the recently teased unexpected guest, Milo, the long-haired dachshund! I’m sold. I wouldn’t leave my dachshund at home either. We find out that Milo loves Amir Lancaster, a real estate guy from Austin who is highlighted this episode based on his upbringing.

What’s the connection with everyone else? Basically, Playboy or pledging a frat. The vibe is love and light shade, but based on the precursor to the episode, and the preview at the end of the episode I am wondering how long till there’s smoke. There are 12 people in the house! Even if there are welcome bags when they get there, unless that bag is like the Tooth Fairy and keeps coming with Amazon and Loverboy (from OG Summer House) drama there will be.

Amir is coming in hot. He claimed Jordan Emanuel as quickly as Milo chose him. It’s a bit much. Women don’t really want to be claimed like a handbag, but we’ll see if Jordan entertains him. According to Preston Mitchum, there is something in the air between them, but again, we’ll see because she thinks she’s cute and not typically trusting due to her Playmate status (or trusting of nice DMs from Nick Arrington). On the flip side, Amir mentions he gets 50-100 girls sliding into his DMs a day. I cringed, and then went to look him up. I found a pic of him with a current gf who is also in real estate. She works on Million Dollar Listing: LA Fredrik Eklund’s Austin team, and there is a mix of love and hate over their relationship.

What happens?

Night 1 everyone is playing nice, but the truth booth is coming out? It’s seriously a Big Brother style, give your admissions, tell the deets while no one is listening box. And independent of interviews. In terms of standard interviews, Mariah Torres sounds like she might end up being queen this season.

The group decides to play drink, dare, or truth – grown adults pretending to be 13 again. We had hardly heard Alex Tyree sing (it’s John Legend the legend’s cuz) when everyone screams and heads for the exit of the hot tub over a frog. Save the frog, please!

Day 2, Jasmine Ellis Cooper and Mariah tell an interesting story of living out of their car. Mariah, she seems chill. Jasmine, not sure how that one went down. She doesn’t strike me as the shower at Planet Fitness type, but who knows. When the hating on Milo begins over dog hair, I remember thinking I just want it to be over – have a ChomChom shipped to the house already. Things start to mildly pop-off over Milo, and Jasmine even makes fun of Bria Fleming for having an ESA. Dang girl, for someone who admittedly lives in a fight state of mind you don’t seem to have empathy for someone else going through it. Especially when you vent to Preston later and Bria is right there laying down.

We start to get one tidbit of Vineyard Black History, and I think we were about to learn something, but no. I hope this comes up later on because it was one sentence and then on to Spike Lee and Barack Obama.

Dinner is an interview and a half amongst the table, and not everyone is having it. The conversation goes to ‘who is out with who’ in NYC at 2am. I have no dog in this fight, but anyone who has ever lived in NY knows, you be out till at least 4am because everything you need is open. We barely hear Jasmine in her interview say something about being one with her husband, Silas Cooper – cringe again – and we’re back to the Boogeyman in the streets.

I need some viewer opinions in my life.

Summer House: Martha’s Vineyard continues Sunday nights on Bravo.