Survivor legend Parvati Shallow has a book on the way, and it’s not going to be at all what fans expect. Reality Tea got the chance to sit down with Parvati to chat about the memoir’s upcoming release – Nice Girls Don’t Win: How I Burned It All Down to Claim My Power – how the book will “surprise” readers, and how her fellow Survivor icon, Sandra Diaz-Twine, inspired the title. Plus, we chatted all about Parvati’s life as a mom, her upcoming stint on Australian Survivor: Australia V the World, and her must-listen podcast. Here’s what Parv had to share…
Survivor royalty Parvati Shallow is enjoying life after writing her book
“Life is the most fun it’s ever been, and I think that is a testament to all of the crazy experiences that I’ve gone through and how well I know myself now,” Parvati tells me over a Zoom call. She looks relaxed, happy, and at peace. As a forever-fan, it’s incredible to see. But, as Parvati tells me, life hasn’t always been all diamonds and rosé for the reality TV competition veteran.
“I played Survivor in 2006 when the culture was really different, and there was a lot of criticism and backlash I got for being a strong woman who played with flirtation as a weapon,” she explains. “Now I think that, especially with the gay community, that is venerated. People really love a strong, sexy, confidant woman. It was completely different in the early 2000s.”
It’s true that things have changed, and Parvati remains adamant that a female Survivor winner – or any woman in the reality TV competition space – has to drop the “nice” label if they want to succeed.
“Sandra, the other queen of Survivor. We had this little feud – I call it a little one because it was sort of a blip … she said, ‘Parvati’s not nice,’ and I was like, ‘Call me anything, but don’t call me nice. Nice girls don’t win Survivor, or build lives they love.’ You can’t really play nice and build an extraordinary life for yourself; you can be kind but take no shit.”
“I get that from my podcast co-host Amy Bean,” she continues, “because that’s her mom’s mantra for life, and I love that. It’s not about being pleasing, or getting people to like you. It’s about building a life that really works for you, on your terms.”
Parvati says writing her book was “full-on therapy”
“I was a journalist before writing this book, but I’d never written my own story,” Parvati explains. “It was full-on therapy.”
“Sitting down and forcing myself to tell stories about times that were really hard, that I would rather never revisit, ever – I got through that, that should be enough – but going back and writing the scenes from my perspective now, 20 years later; it was like a fairy godmother writing to my younger self and giving her this gift of wisdom and acknowledgement and compassion that I didn’t have when I was 20 years old. That part of it was really cool; to be able to be that wise voice and compassionate witness to myself.
“I feel so much lighter after having written it. It’s also so vulnerable, it’s really intimate and raw, and some of these stories I think are going to take readers by surprise and blow their minds, because I really did go there and dug into some really tender, vulnerable parts of my life. But I feel so much better having written it.”
It’s interesting to hear Parvati admit to what feels like the trauma of being thrust into the spotlight following her initial Survivor run. Many would assume she simply steeled herself, accepted the criticism, and quickly grew a thick skin. And while that might be true, there were clearly moments that affected her. Now, as a mom, she wonders about her daughter’s future…
Parvati’s daughter Ama might be a future Survivor cast member
“She wants to be famous,” Parvati tells me of her six-year-old, Ama. “She competes in challenges that she makes up herself in the house. [Ama is] really competitive and she’s also really agile and athletic, so I think she’s maybe a Survivor contestant in-training. I don’t really want her to go out and compete on Survivor because it really messed with my head at a young age, but I got so many gifts playing that game, it really was meant for me, so I won’t stop her if that’s what she wants to do. But I would love her to choose something a little less in the public eye where she won’t be criticized so roughly!”
For Ama, Parvati is mom first. But, she is starting to recognize just how popular mommy is with everybody else. “When I’m out in the world, I’m totally different [to when I play reality TV competitions]. I’ll take pictures with people, I’ll chat with fans and have a genuine conversation,” she explains. “My daughter’s always like, ‘Mom, why don’t they wanna take a picture with me?’” Note to all future Parvati selfie-seekers – make sure you tell Ama how great she is, too!
Parvati returns to Survivor with Australian Survivor: Australia V the World
After an incredible run on Deal or No Deal Island, alongside eventual winner David Genat – who is also an Australian Survivor winner – Parvati headed out to compete in Australian Survivor vs the World. There, she would reunite with David, but did they keep their preexisting relationship a secret?
“I would have loved to keep it under wraps, but everyone knew about it,” Parvati admits. “I think because some stuff had leaked about Deal … they were aware, that’s all I will say.”
Another Survivor reunion was between Parvati and Cirie Fields. “I’m so excited for this show,” Parvati says. “I played with Cirie and it was really cool because I hadn’t played with her since Survivor Micronesia. It had been 15 years. I was like, ‘Oh God, is she gonna play with me? Are we gonna have the same vibe?’ So it was really cool to have a chance to connect with my girl. I can’t wait for people to watch it, it’s gonna be really fun.”
Let’s hope these two Survivor legends can work together to bring the win home!
Parvati Shallow and Amy Bean’s Nice Girls Don’t Win podcast
If you’ve not listened to the Nice Girls Don’t Win podcast, you’re in for a treat. The first season just wrapped, and there are some incredible guests. So, I ask Parvati who she’d want on in a future season. Without missing a beat, she answers.
“Miley Cyrus, and Pamela Anderson, and Paris Hilton … the list goes on!” she says. “But I love powerful women who have come out the other side, where there’s been a moment where they’ve been vilified by the world for whatever reason, and they’ve stood up for themselves, done some soul searching, and come out the other side.
“I love women like that who have overcome and are rocking their lives. That’s where I’d like to take the next season of the podcast.”
Fingers crossed those big names sign up. Those conversations would be historic!
Parvati Shallow’s book Nice Girls Don’t Win is available to pre-order now, with signed copies also available.
TELL US – WILL YOU BE READING PARVATI’S BOOK? ARE YOU EXCITED TO SEE HER ON AUSTRALIAN SURVIVOR?
