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Below Deck Mediterranean - Anastasia Surmava

On last night’s Below Deck Mediterranean things in the kitchen boiled over and Captain Sandy Yawn proved, once again, that her bleeding heart for pretty young things lost at sea clouds her ability to lead.

Captain Sandy‘s friend Dr. Jen Berman, raunchy urologist with a penchant for crop tops, is still on board with her crew of New Jersians (another form of alien, unless you live in the Bravo-universe). Their first lunch was a flop, leaving them crabby; their first dinner was rubbery steak that looked like it came from a Fisher Price kitchen play set, and most of it ends up in the trash. The whole thing has been such a mess that Sandy and Hannah Ferrier decide to just permanently install Anastasia Surmava in the galley, and not only that – she’s in charge of dinner.  The time has come, Sandy, to FIRE Mila Kolomeitseva.

Anastasia Surmava - Below Deck Mediterranean

Problems in the kitchen continue on tonight’s Below Deck Mediterranean. Not wanting to fire Chef Mila Kolomeitseva midway through the season without having a replacement lined up Captain Sandy Yawn promotes Anastasia Surmava to run dinner after another disastrous breakfast for the guests.

Hannah Ferrier can’t believe Mila hasn’t been fired, as she struggles to manage her workload with Anastasia being requisitioned to help with food. Joao Franco continues to be emotional over Brooke Laughton and turns to Captain Sandy for support. Captain Sandy continues to be impressed with his work ethic and sees him as a changed man. But will it stick? 

Captain Sandy Yawn Below Deck Mediterranean

Something sure is fishy about what’s going on in the kitchen on Below Deck Mediterranean. As is often the case with Below Deck, almost all the heated happenings occur with the chef (and the chief stew), and Mila Kolomeitseva is at least not disappointing in the drama department. Or is she?

Is it too much when a person goes on an internationally screened reality TV show and makes openly homophobic remarks, then only apologizes once she gets tired of people shaming her? I think it is. I’m not saying anyone on reality TV should be living as an example of morality (clearly not), or be considered a role model (or even a good person), but should we be allowing them to be maligning entire groups of people? Maybe I have no business judging or questioning the gods of Reality TV (aka Bravo producers). After all we’ve already had people fake cancer, go to prison, sexually harass, make racist comments, get in belligerent fights, cheat on their spouses… 

Below Deck Mediterranean chef Mila Kolomeitseva

In the French Riviera the waters are sapphire blue and the skies are cloudless — until you come aboard the super yacht Sirocco where Chef Mila Kolomeitseva is terrorizing everyone with her homophobia and hideous food. With that warning, welcome to episode 3 of Below Deck Mediterranean!

First Mila managed to ruined the first crew night out by revealing to Travis Michalzik that she finds homosexuality gross.   The crew is horrified and are all wondering if they can even speak to Mila ever again. Unfortunately they all still have to work together and share a crew mess the size of a playpen. 

Caroline gets many unwelcome surprises

Kate Chastain’s favorite ex stew is making the news for her troubles again. If you remember Caroline Bedol at all from Season 6, she was the one that did the least amount of work and complained the most. To be fair, she did have an injured and swollen attitude foot.

It seems like for most people, being on a show improves their lives but not Caroline. After having a nervous breakdown on national TV with mean girls Kate and Josiah Carter taunting her, she went back home only to be homeless and asking for donations from fans.

Below Deck Mediterranean - Chef Mila Kolomeitseva

On last night’s Below Deck Mediterranean Chef Mila Kolomeitseva continued to be like a nuke in the ocean. And no one likes nukes for dinner — or anywhere else for that matter!

Here in the beautiful, balmy waters of the French Rivera it’s just your typical family dinner: throw a few TV dinners in the microwave and chow down while watching the sunset on the main deck. At least according to Mila. After first making barf nachos that look like they came from a gas station, Mila mistimed the cooking of the main course steak and figures why not nuke them for a minute or two.

Being a Russian Mila is immune to radiation poisoning, so she puts her face right up to the doors to watch them cook second by second, before dumping them on a plate and ordering Anastasia Surmava to “Go” deliver them. Hannah Ferrier is appalled, alarmed, in a right strop – a full spectrum of emotions over what she just witnessed. Actually of that is an understatement. Hannah was actually shocked into silence carrying these plates of radiation ribeye.

Mila

If Mila Kolomeitseva didn’t make a terrible first impression on last week’s episode of Below Deck Mediterranean, tonight’s episode will not be any better. Yes, it does get worse than licking guests’ steaks and putting them in the microwave.

Chief Stew Hannah Ferrier criticizes Mila’s cooking prowess, which isn’t at-all-surprising, but very much warranted. This is especially true since Mila can’t even slice ham (for some reason) during tonight’s episode. Instead, Captain Sandy Yawn comes to her rescue. However, Mila is even worse outside of the kitchen. Yes, that’s possible.

Below Deck Mediterranean’s Brooke Laughten Denies She Cheated on Joao Franco

Did she, or didn’t she? Below Deck Mediterranean premiered this week and everyone’s favorite Zimbabwean João Franco is already playing the woe -is- me card.

According to João his lady love Kasey Cohen Brooke Laughton broke his heart by cheating on him.  Or, is that just what he wants us to believe?