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Below Deck

Below Deck Reunion

Last night was the Below Deck Mediterranean reunion, and Captain Sandy Yawn wants us all to know she wore her boss pants. Joao Franco, on the other hand, wore a diaper.

The set of these WWHL Reunions is so depressing, isn’t it. Like getting married in a Vegas chapel with a liquor store next door. It just doesn’t translate to ‘daytime’ activities. Who wants to bear their soul in front of a rhinestone Snoopy or a photo of Ramona Singer doing Turtle Time in a satin dress? I guess Joao’s nervous breakdowns don’t discriminate?

Below Deck Mediterranean Reunion

Tonight we say farewell to our favorite yacht crew as another season comes to a close. The Below Deck Mediterranean reunion is tonight and we can’t wait to rehash the drama and love triangles of the season!

In the preview clips released, Captain Sandy Yawn gets candid with Conrad Empson, scolding him for his many, many cigarette breaks and his preoccupation with Hannah Ferrier. She even lets him know that she doesn’t see him making it in this line of work. Ouch!

Instagram Roundup:

This week your favorite reality TV stars were all about the family time. Potomac Housewife Monique Samuels posted a photo of herself with her husband Chris Samuels and their two children. Former Real Housewives of Orange County cast member Meghan Edmonds shared a photo holding all three of her babies in her lap at the same time.

Million Dollar Listing star Josh Altman spent some quality time with his daughter. Teen Mom‘s Leah Messer shared a selfie with her daughter on a swing set.

Below Deck Mediterranean season 3 finale

It was the last charter and the season finale episode of Below Deck Mediterranean. I’m pooped of writing about the poop deck dramas of the Motor Yacht Talisman (I am also not too mature for poop jokes!). Everyone is moving on from the pettiness, squabbles, and bad vibes expect for Hannah Ferrier, who is just as ready as ever to make people’s lives miserable. Conrad Empson sure rues the day he ever got clobbered by a cougar!

The finale episode was truly all about playing games with Hannah. From musical chairs, to hide and seek, and finally battleship. The most shocking development though was realizing that Conrad and Hannah had never had sex! Do we believe them? It’s kind of cutely high school…

Anyway, we gotta also talk about Joao Franco admitting to Kasey Cohen that if she’d been the one sitting next to him during Hannah’s birthday, she’d also be the one he’d currently be screwing over instead of Brooke Laughton. Now Joao understands it was fate’s way of looking out for him. Joao mansplains, “When I kissed Brooke it all made sense…,”  but I don’t want to talk to another girl too long, because it might stop making sense in my penile brain, then I might convenience kiss somebody else. Someone else like Kasey. This logic is like watching The Notebook in lieu of getting counseling for co-dependency, and then, even worse, believing this is how mature relationships work. And I am mature, so I should know! 

Hannah Ferrier

I don’t know where Below Deck Mediterranean would be without Hannah Ferrier. No, I’m not talking about her performance as a member of the yacht crew, but she is really carrying this show on her back. She has drama with almost every cast member episode after episode. She’s the only original cast member who is still on this show. She really is the MVP of Below Deck Med in an unconventional way.

As expected, there is even more Hannah-instigated drama in tonight’s season finale episode. According to the episode description on the Bravo website, “Hannah picks a fight with Joao [Franco] and Brooke [Laughton], causing the mild mannered Brooke to fight back.” Brooke snapping back at Hannah has been a long time coming.”

Instagram Roundup: Brittany Cartwright, Lisa Rinna, Tinsley Mortimer, Gina Kirschenheiter, & More!

Apparently mirror selfies are still going strong. New York Housewife Tinsley Mortimer recently posted one with her on-again-off-again boyfriend Scott Kluth. So it’s safe to assume that these two are “on again.” Real Housewives of Orange County new girl Gina Kirschenheiter also shared a photo of post-glam session look.

Below Deck Mediterranean cast member Jamie Jason showed off her bikini body with a mirror selfie of her own. And then there’s  Vanderpump Rules star Lala Kent, the queen of the mirror selfie, serving up a super casual (and most likely super expensive) look.

Brooke Laughton

It’s the last charter for Below Deck Mediterranean and the guests are literally a coma, luckily all crew relationships are exploding like a fireworks display.

Hannah Ferrier and Conrad Empson are FINALLY  breaking up – and this is only because Conrad tired of her toxic, immature dramas. “This is not going to work. If you argue every day what’s the point in being there. You’re not happy. I’m done,” he decides, before telling Hannah that Prague, and all its glories as a couples trip, is not happening.

This is what truly enrages Hannah – that she cannot manipulate Conrad into staying with her through the trip. He asserts to think about it but his eyes already focused on the future horizon, populated with women his own age, looking to have fun and not use him as a baby bait to make older, established men feel bad for her.

More Relationship Drama On Below Deck Mediterranean Tonight

It never seems like a good idea to date someone where you work, but it does happen a lot, especially on Below Deck Mediterranean. There are so many obvious complications that can arise with dating someone you work with and live with on a boat. But here’s the thing: these are the crew members’ only real options. Otherwise, they end up in these long distance relationships trying to FaceTime with poor cellular reception.

With all of that said, it’s really not surprising that Hannah Ferrier and Conrad Empson gave it a go and tried dating. It’s also not surprising that working together, living together, and hanging out with each other for months was not the best start to a new relationship and they ended things. They may have broke away from their relationship, but they are not done with the relationship drama, not by a long shot.