As a writer you are challenged to encapsulate events and people in an exciting or innovative way. As a recapper you are challenged to reiterate exciting and crazy things that have already happened in a funny and innovative way. It’s a tough job.
Last night on Real Housewives of New York there were royal wars and pinot races. And nobody won at the end of an evening serenaded by the worst music I’ve ever heard on Housewives of anywhere – and that is really saying something. So Mazel, Cara Quici.
Things begin innocently enough with a bidet, some croquet, and champagne. Sonja Morgan, washing off the sins of her hangover, sticks her face in a bidet filled with ice. She does know what part of the anatomy a bidet is really for, correct?
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Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New York City was all about vaginas, vacations, and Pinot… again. Jill Zarin is hosting an anti-bullying fundraiser, and while guests are paying $200 to attend, the irony of Jill championing this event is priceless. Kelly accidentally sees Sonja’s ladybits, Cindy takes her good friends on a “brunettes only” weekend, New Housewife Pinot Grigio high-jacks Jill’s charity event, and sweet LuAnn just wants everyone to get along, dammit!
The episode begins with LuAnn and Sun-yah meeting for lunch to discuss a girls trip. LuAnn is planning to “break the tension” between the ladies. Since this is a classy restaurant, Sonja, predictably arrives straight from the gym with a fur thrown over her sports bra. Sonja states she wants to go to Italy for Truffle Season (that’s a thing?) because “everyone will be there!” Everyone except the NY Housewives, that is, because LuAnn is just so over Italy and wants to vacation somewhere exotic. Somewhere like Morocco, which is the Paris of the Middle East, didn’t you know? Bravo, desperate to capitalize on a repeat of Scary Island, decides Luann must “invite” all the ladies, but LuAnn has some reservations about Kelly being included because no one wants “Scary Desert” on the horizon. Well, no one but Bravo, because ratings are everything dah-ling, so Kelly is IN!
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