Right now, Vanderpump Rules is all about Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright’s Kentucky weddinnnnnn. It has become such a focus that it feels like Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney got married a whole lifetime ago, even though it was actually in 2016 and aired in 2017.
Apparently, they forgot some paperwork back in the day, so the marriage wasn’t actually legal. However, they did finally make it offical in Las Vegas last summer. As consuming as Jax and Brittany’s wedding has been this season, the lead in to Schwartz and Katie’s wedding was arguably just painful, but at least it wasn’t as offensive. The drunken fights, cheating accusations, and rage texts did not feel like precursors to marital bliss, yet here we are. These two have been together for over a decade. Wow. I’m sure there are some viewers who are a little surprised by this, but they’re not alone. It turns out that Schwartz is a bit shocked as well.
Stassi Schroeder has been living her best life lately. Beau Clark, her sweet and funny boyfriend, popped the question in July of 2019. Oh, and he slipped that ring on Stassi’s finger in the most romantic of places–a cemetery. Well, that is pretty romantic to Stassi.
The couple is marrying in October in Rome, Italy. Stassi and Beau are so in synch that they even agreed to sign a prenup. And Stassi is part of a pregnancy pact with Vanderpump Rules besties Katie Maloney, Brittany Cartwright, and Lala Kent. Can you imagine how dramatic it would be with this squad all rocking baby bumps at the same time?
There are lots of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills viewers holding out hope that Lisa Vanderpump will return to the series. In my opinion, she cannot return on her own. She needs to come back with some very loyal cast members by her side.
Aside from LVP’s fans and her husband Ken Todd, there is no one more loyal to her than the Vanderpump Rules crew, except for Kristen Doute. And you know what, they’re not as young as they used to be. Referring to them as the “Vanderpump Rules kids” isn’t gonna make sense sooner rather than later. Many of them are getting married and planning to start a family. They’re starting empires of their own. In other words, they’re building up the perfect resumés to become Real Housewives. This possibility is something that both Lala Kent and Stassi Schroeder discussed in recent interviews. Just imagine Lisa going toe to toe with Erika Jayne with Lala backing her up. It would make for some very interesting TV.
Isn’t it crazy how many of the Vanderpump Rules couples are either married or engaged? Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz are hitched. Last summer, Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright tied the knot, and their nuptials will play out on this season of Pump Rules. I am exhausted from all the showers/bachelorettes/ and other parties these couples have before their weddings.
In October, Stassi Schroeder will marry Beau Clark in Italy. And Lala Kent is slated to wed Randall Emmett in April. Randall even made his first appearance on the reality show, proving that he does exist. In a shocking turn of events, their wedding will not be filmed for Vanderpump Rules. I thought it was mandatory for all weddings to be filmed. Just saying.
Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was a doozy. I thought last week was bad, but well, I should’ve known better.
Why on earth does Jax Taylor think it’s a punishment to be kicked out of his trashy-ass wedding? He’s horrific so not being associated with that wad of human filth – a literal hairball pulled out of a 50 year old drain who isn’t even inviting his OWN MOTHER to his wedding – is the best thing that could possibly happen to a decent human being like Tom Sandoval.
Also Ariana Madix is the only person on Vanderpump Rules who truly understands with a toxic cesspool it is. It is the drain! The drain where a thousand strands of hair that wouldn’t pass a drug test and the dead skin of dead souls collects into an impenetrable mass that just traps a person there. Ariana is realizing that she’ll barely escape alive. That she is one scowl and a Hot Cheeto and tequila sundae away from turning into Katie Maloney, marrying a man she detests to prolong the only thing that pays her enough to buy a track home in the way-out Valley.
Last week’s episode of Vanderpump Rules was pretty heated. The countdown to Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright’s wedding is taking forever and on top of that, they hired a (seemingly) homophobic pastor to officiate the ceremony. Once some of his social media posts went public, Brittany denied that he was “that way” during a flashback clip that was shared during last week’s episode.
However, Lisa Vanderpump had a talk with Jax and Brittany about the man and then they left him the dust, asking Lance Bass to officiate instead. Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix couldn’t believe that it took Jax and Brittany so long to change their decision. Meanwhile, everyone else seemed to be walking on eggshells, afraid to upset their precious Brittany and Jax before their wedding. Apparently, that wasn’t completely the case though, at least according to Stassi Schroeder.
For years, Lala Kent solely referred to Randall Emmett as “my man.” They were dating in secret and the whole timeline of their marriage (i.e. his marriage to Ambyr Childers and the start of his relationship with Lala) was blurry.
That’s all about to change though. Randall makes his Vanderpump Rules debut on tonight’s new episode.