Well, it’s another episode of the All about Rachel Hour and on last night’s episode of The Rachel Zoe Project, Rachel showed her collection in NYC, stressed out about how her collection would be perceived, and realized she will be birthing a baby sometime soon and has no idea how that “process” works. Also, hairdresser and biffl Joey decides to move to LA and support the Zoe-Bermans full-time – for a hefty fee, of course!
The team is preparing to embark upon NYC to present Rachel’s collection. Basically the entire fashion industry will be there. The trip will be a three-day affair, of an interview and debut with Women’s Wear Daily, then a fashion show, then a buying day when editors and department stores can view the collection and order pieces to sell or photograph. Rodger is meeting with the team to break it all down and puts lots of pressure on how this collection could ruin Rachel’s career if no one bites. This collection is like THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER. Like Ever. How weird was it seeing Rodger acting so professional, together, and not whining?
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Execubich, Mandana, who has thusly demonstrated her new marriage is a mere interference in her duties to Madam Zoe, puts newbie Jeremiah in change of the jewelry pull for collection; stating a monkey could do it – which means he’ll screw it up. And screw up he does, because he has actually never seen jewelry before, or gold, for that matter and has no idea how to identify Gilver or like a hoop and spends the entire session calling Mandana and texting her photos of his options. Basically, Mandana managed the jewelry pull remotely, but no one is telling Rach. that! I mean, sure most people don’t know what Gilver is maybe, but if you are going to be a fashion stylist that just might be an essential detail!
Rachel meets with Mandana to get things ready for the trip, but actually she is more concerned with complaining about what a nuisance pregnancy is for her, like, clothes when she realizes she is missing NY Fashion Week and this will be her last trip before her child is born. Rachel reveals she just tries to forget she is actually with child and that it hasn’t registered in her brain that this is like a, forever thing, not like just another assignment to put shoes on an entitled A-Lister. She also takes issue with how “not chic” pregnancy is – I mean magazines and actresses, like, gave her this idea that she would be glowing and amazing and it is the, like, the trendy thing to do! But instead she is sweating, and tired, and an all around hot mess (actually I think she looks amazing, but I sympathize with feeling gross while you’re pregnant).
Getting ready for the debut with WWD, Rachel is conferring with hairdresser and make-up artist, Joey about how stressful this is for her. I mean, she is lit-ter-ruh-leee obsessed with WWD and it is her bible – what if she is shunned by her religious group? Rodger is more stressed out about the hairspray Joey is using killing their child. Well, at least someone is mildly concerned about this poor baby. Rachel explains how important Joey is to her – he is her best friend, her child – and everything she wishes Rodger could be: a forever lacky who does not demand sex or intimacy or attention and only cares about clothes, her clothes, and fashion, period.
In the car on the way to the show there is more freaking out about the collection failing in the eyes of WWD and how this will ruin her career and subsequently her life. Rachel guesses she’d just go back to styling and Joey reminds her she has a baby coming – so there’s that. *shudder* Rodger, lovingly pictures a fashion-free future with Rachel and a coupla kids; and Rachel giving him the side-eye remarks that Joey is the only thing keeping them from divorce, giving Rodger an idea…
Day 1: Women’s Wear Daily Photoshoot and Interview. Rachel works with models to put together the looks. SHe is excited about the prospect of being in the same store with other designers she essentially copied admires. Le sigh – tangent break here: To me, this looks like another collection full of the same old stuff. Rachel loves clothing, and she is innovative about putting things together, but she is NOT an innovative designer. Nicolas Ghesquiere she is not, which is fine. The clothes are beautiful, immaculate, and they are so Rachel, as in clothes she likes to wear that other people have already designed for the most part.
It was fantastic to see some uncontrived footage of Rachel actually in her element putting together the looks and getting the models ready. I kinda loved that it was one of the rare times we have seen Rachel being a real person instead of a character she, IMO, modeled from The Devil Wears Prada’s Miranda Priestly because she (or Bravo) believe that’s what people think when they hear: fashion Industry. Seeing her in the showroom, with her nerve palpable, demonstrated Rachel as the consummate professional she really is, with rock-solid knowledge of styling and fashion! Jeremiah wasn’t the only one learning a lot!
During the WWD event Joey starts quizzing Mandana about why furniture-deisgner Jeremiah wants to work for Rachel? Is it the opportunity to be on TV, perhaps? Joey astutely points out that a couch is different than a dress. Rachel is oblivious though, because adores Jeremiah and to prove it the horny pregnant lady starts molesting her employee by trying to pull up his shirt and see his abs. And that’s a wrap for the WWD event! As she is leaving leaving; Mandana reminds Rachel she is wearing a vest from the collection, but it’s Rachel’s name is on the label, b*tch. Ok, pretty funny!
Later, its Gauys night out! Rodger and Joey meet for a drinks and talk Rachel. Rodger starts guilt-tripping Joey about being in NYC and abandoning a pregnant (and impossible to deal with), Rachel. The topic of Brad comes up and Rodger gives a little more details about how a week after leaving, citing wanting a quieter life, he was already meeting with an agent. Hey, why not? Money talks and Brad doesn’t owe his life to Rachel. He worked with her, moved on, and is entitled to his own career – even if it involves fashion. Let’s face it: Brad made Rachel lots of money by being a star-player on her show and the fan favorite, why shouldn’t he make the money for himself? Joey, again, the voice of reason mentions that every person that comes into Rachel’s life is potentially a user. Joey informs Rodger that he recently broke up with his boyfriend, and Rodger immediately leaps to the conclusion that he must have nothing else going on his life. Prompting Rodger to beg him to move to LA and supervise support Rachel. Rodger bribes him with three-months salary and a Mercedes to be a paid friend.
The next morning WWD arrives – and the reviews are in: they love it! Joey comments this is the biggest moment in Rachel‘s life in more ways than one; looking at her tummy. The photos are really great! Joey truly is a realist – he is good for Rachel. He may just be my favorite person on RZP.
Day 2: Fashion Show! Why does Mandana have Jersey Shore hair – clearly Joey is not styling her! Rachel’s sister, Pamela, arrives for support. Pammie so proud of her and totally goes into mom-mode reassuring Rachel that no matter what, she’s a star! Putting his skills to use, nervous newbie Jeremiah is “tweaking” the presentation space, because he wants to show Rachel what his skills are, but he also doesn’t want Rachel to think “interior design” is all he has to offer and he just doesn’t know what to do because he wants Rachel to know that he is interested in everything about this business. He is exhausting! Sadly, Rachel gives him an accidental b*tchslap when she decides against using any jewelry – which coincidentally he pulled– even though she loves it all. Poor, desperate to impress, Jeriwhinah.
As the editors, buyers, and insiders arrive; Rachel presents her “baby” to the world– no, not her child, her real baby – fashion! I liked the vibe of the industry show. Good spread, Zoe. Rachel states she is inspired by other designers Paris, and London, and Downtown NY girls; and inspiration is more of a time period, like 60’s & 70’s. The response to her collection is very positive and a lot of industry big deals were present to validate her work, which relieves a “never good enough” feeling Rachel. Afterwards, Rachel thanks her amazing team, including The Rodg, but Jeriwhinah is disappointed Rachel forgot to thank him by name, even though he’s only been working there, like, 25minutes. Relax, ‘Whinah – she thinks you’re cute; you’re gay, and your’re brown-nosing – you can do no wrong! Oh lordy, he is so needy!
Rodger has sic’ed Joey on Jeremiah, because no one really trusts his intentions yet – except the slightly deluded by sequins, tweed, and hairspray Rachel who just has a feeeeeling about him – and they decide to “do” breakfast to get to know each other better. Breakfast is more like a cock fight – literally, with both of them circling each other and spitting and to make matters worse these two queens both showed up in the same exact shirt! Joey dispels the workings of Zoe while an over-whelmed seeming Jeremiah listens. Joey calls it that he is too needy and dependent on constant validation to handle Rachel – who is also too needy and dependent on constant validation. Jeremiah just seems to desperate… something about him – ew. I miss Brad. I cannot wait for his show!
Day 3: The buyers are having a second look at the collection to place orders for pieces they want to sell. Everyone is worried, because if the buyers don’t bite and the mags don’t photograph the collection then everyone gets fired and Rachel will fade into obscurity as that weird fashion obsessed lady who, like, mah-jorly died for bananas, literallee. Neiman’s is up first and they are interested in buying almost all of it. Did anyone notice the red velvet tuxedo? Stunning, but Tom Ford did that for Gucci circa ‘97/’98 Yay! Joe Zee! Joe Zee arrives and gives Rachel and Rodger a framed picture of their photoshoot from Elle.
Back at the hotel, mom-expert, Pamela wants Rachel to focus on a maternity line next – and oh, yes please do!!! I would totes buy that! And Rachel has a few questions about this whole baby-thing, like what to do about the nursery and baby shower? Rachel has concerns about respecting the Jewish tradition of not planning for baby, while still, you know, planning. Pamela has lots of advice of how to get around the superstition, like hiding all the gifts in a closet and not looking at them ‘til Baby Skylar arrives. Like Rachel will be able to keep her hands off cute baby clothes!
And then Rachel brings up that whole, very confusing giving birth stuff – like more specifically: how does it work, exactly? And no surprise, Rachel doesn’t get it! She wants to just be put to sleep ala 1950’s and then they take the alien/vampire/ baby-thing out and she wakes up and here he is: cute, clean, and wearing a Little Marc onesie! Rachel is also confused that she will be awake during her c-section. Pamela spells it out for her and explains how you don’t feel or really see anything, but Rachel doesn’t look convinced!
Pammie and Joey decide to register for Rachel as a surprise and they start at Bonpoint, which has the cutest baby clothes – and, of course, they are only registering for clothes. What no umm… necessities? Oh, wait what am I saying, $110 “Jesus sandals” are a necessity when you’re Rachel Zoe! It seems like everyone has baby fever, but Mama Zoe!
Joey, Pamela, and Rodger meet up drinks while Rachel stays home to lovingly stroke a vintage Chanel, and they fill Rodg. in on their registering shenanigans. Which prompts Rodger to demand an answer from Joey about whether or not he is moving to LA, like immediately. Like Joey doesn’t have a life besides the Berman/Zoes? Of course, not when Rachel Zoe is in your vicinity – she is your life. Without her you would wither, perish, and cease to exist; simply vanishing into mid air. Joey lists the particulars like not having job in LA, but Rodg is confused because Rachel will be his job! Oh, and he gets a car out of the deal! And of course, who is going to pass up an all-expenses paid vacation with Mercedes? So, Joey is in and will be moving to LA to be Rachel’s personal reassure-er.
Next Week: Kim Karcrapshian. Ewwww… And she looks Butt-nanas (and klassy, as ever!). Rodger tries to abandon his wife for a little guy time in Vegas, but she won’t let him, and he [finally] snaps on Rachel!
Thoughts on the collection? Is Rachel taking motherhood seriously enough? What do you think of Jeriwhinah: annoyingly clingy or just sweet and eager to please?