Yesterday’s Project Runway All Stars challenge mixed two of my favorite things of all time: food and fashion! Woo hoo! Sadly all the results were pretty yuck. The challenge was a little convoluted. The designers had to make an outfit inspired by the colors and flavors of gelato that made an extravagant fashion statement worthy of a red carpet — all within six hours. It would take me that long to pick a gelato!

Angela meets the designers on the runway accompanied by a gelato cart and everyone picks a flavor using the high school gym class method. Their look must use the color of the gelato as well as derive inspiration from the flavor. Then, Diane Von Furstenburg, Queen of International Ready To Wear (according to Austin Scarlet), takes the runway. Diane adds new, discombobulated element to the challenge; their look must also make a fabulous and innovative fashion moment. Inspired by ice cream flavors. In SIX HOURS!

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I’m always opposed to these rushed time frames, like kinda couture in 24-hours, etc., because mostly everyone makes stuff that’s thrown together, sub-par and not well thought out. The competition is really about who made the best of the worst and the worst of the worst. Most of it looks pretty dreadful and some of it looks just OK. The worst part of these challenges is that it never gives the designers a true opportunity to show what they can do or demonstrate their aesthetic, but I digress.

Anyways, because the designers only have SIX HOURS to conceptualize and create a look, Mini Mood is erected adjacent to the workroom. Everyone rushes around, which is more chaotic than ever given the tight quarters and schedule.

Michael, who has chosen grapefruit, is disappointed the color of the gelato is actually more of a peach, but nonetheless gets right to work on a satin caftan gown straight out of 1985. Michael is beside himself with glee at the thought of meeting and presenting to Diane, who he counts as one of his idols. Michael works fast and even with the tiny hiccup of cutting one side of his fabric 8.5” shorter than the other, he is pretty much finished in about three hours.

April didn’t get enough material to accommodate her model’s measurements, which therefore necessitates her adding extra panels to the back of the dress. Sadly she had already allotted that extra material to lengthen the skirt and now it’s seriously a perpetual panty flash in the back. Hot mess to the ninth degree! Love the color combo though!

Joanna Coles arrives with guess what!? More gelato! Product placement much?? Joanna has concerns about Austin’s propensity for bridal, given that he is working with white, charmeuse and rosette embellishments. Austin seems to believe it will be fine, but then has to whip out his liquid thread a.k.a. glue gun to get everything on the dress and is forced to sew his model into the fished piece. Get it together girl!

Joanna wonders what Kara has going on and Kara seems so frantic and passionate about her ice cream dress, Joanna kind of slowly backs away. And Kara’s dress. Oh – lord, Jerell called her model a “pregnant cupcake!” This was sort of an unfortunate combination of strawberry shortcake and a sno-cone, mixed with a 1950’s bathing suit on top!

The designers meet up on the runway a mere 6 or 7 hours later to await their judging. Angela announces there will be a surprise second guest judge! Supermodel Miranda Kerr. Didn’t she have a baby last week? She looks incredible! In a surprise bonus, Miranda will wear the winning designer’s look to an industry event! Who knew gelato could take you so far!?

Ok, let’s trash discuss some looks!

Kenley: Inspiration: Passion Fruit. I’m tired of her juvenile retro pinafore dresses. Is this supposed to be inspiring? Frankly, I thought she would be taken to task for basically putting zero effort into this and being completely reliant on a dress she’s made 4000 times. I think the judges were so bored by it they didn’t even notice it walked down the runway!

Rami: Inspiration: Kiwi. There was too much going on with all the different prints and texture – it looked messy. His inspiration was kiwi, not kiwi on a meth binge. None of the varying prints and colors were well integrated, so the final effect was really choppy and sort of quilt-like. I thought the satin was an odd choice for the skirt given that there was so much going on in the bodice. I was really, really surprised he wasn’t in the bottom, but I think the judges love him and want him to eke thorough.

Jerel: Inspiration: Fruits of the Forrest. Well, it’s interesting, and very DVF, which is coincidentally very similar to his own aesthetic. I liked the straps, but the patterns weren’t well mixed; there was no segue. This looked more like a beach cover-up than a dress.

Austin: Inspiration: Madagascar Vanilla. Bridal! Beach Bride. Kleinfeld’s is calling! Whatevs, the judges were expecting bridal as soon as he chose Madagascar Vanilla. Austin is a bridal gown designer after all. This was ok, nothing to get excited about. The front part looked like it was birthing or vomiting a geyser of cream silk through a mouth of sequins. Which is a gross image and I’m sorry.

TOP THREE:

Congratulations Michael! Inspiration: Grapefruit. Well, this is chic in theory, but it’s faaar too voluminous and the model was drowning in the excess fabric. There was little fit to this other than the front of the bodice. It was also pretty much, a cliché.

I personally worship Talitha Getty and this is very Talitha, but a costume-y, 80′s version. I’m a closet drama sleeve fan. I love the power of a drama sleeve! I believe the judges saw this as somewhat of a classic and the thing Miranda would be least embarrassed wearing. And the overall look was dramatic. Diane wants Michael to call her, so SCORE! The judges didn’t think the color read as grapefruit. I think this fell into the best of the worst category, too bad he didn’t have twelve hours instead of six!

Mondo, Inspiration: Cantaloupe. I actually liked the easiness of this, but I think the inspiration was too literal. It was seriously a cantaloupe Halloween costume! It was ballsy of him to step out of his comfort zone for a rapid-fire ice cream challenge, but it’s a tunic. It’s been done many times, but a classic never goes out of style! Diana loved Mondo’s gown and so did Miranda. The judges thought it was flattering, although Isaac called it sexless, because, well, it’s a caftan. Is Dorothy Zbornak sexy?

Mila: Inspiration: Milk with Sour Cherries. When this walked down the runway, my immediate reaction was negative, so I was surprised the judges loved it. In the still pictures this did look easy and casual, as the judges described, but on the runway it seemed sloppy, droopy, and sad. Especially the sleeves – the raglan effect made the garment look like a big frown to me – and the hemline. Also, like Miranda pointed out – the accessories, particularly the belt, did the look no favors! All in all they liked that the inspiration was evident and appreciated the effort. I give it a big ol’ meh.

BOTTOM THREE:

Good-Bye April: Inspiration: Blueberry. It wasn’t terrible, the color was gorge, but the length in the back was straight up Burlesque panty flash! The bodice was cute and flattering. The biggest issue aside from the length was that it looked like a generic, goth tutu.

Georgina just thought it was too ambitious. The judges liked the combination of the fabrics because the sheer was unfinished looking. The judges were really against the belt, and I agree, as soon as she took it off it was so much cuter! Overall they questioned if she has enough confidence in her vision.

Kara: Inspiration: Chocolate With Cayenne Pepper. Kara was mistakenly enthusiastic and passionate about her dress, which was odd. It looked elementary and like a child’s sundress. This was far too high waisted for such a voluminous skirt on an adult woman. I just don’t like the blocks of certain colors, an ombre effect would have been so much better. I mean granted she had like three minutes, but still, you could tell there wasn’t a lot of thought about how the finished product would pan out. This just wasn’t exciting, sorry Kara!

All the judges immediately thought maternity! They also thought her inspiration was too literal, and the female judges thought it was unflattering and amateurish. Isaac questioned if she was an “all star,” which is when I thought she was a goner! Kara is really not doing so hot this season. She’s having a lot of trouble getting on top of her shizz.

Anthony: Inspiration: Green Tea. Kudos, this was refreshing and surprisingly southern country club chic. The bodice was definitely over-worked and too fold-y, but overall this was a good little number, with interesting ideas. Sadly, he had no time to implement them really well and it looked slapped together and unfinished. The judges called it a little messy and overly conceptual. Anthony was inspired by melting gelato, but the judges thought if he had used the same color throughout the flaws at the waist wouldn’t have been as evident.

April narrowly lost to Kara, but it was truly a toss up as both of them have been on a bottom a few times. I wouldn’t be surprised if Kara goes home next, she has been marked with the scarlet letter at this point and the judges are going to be scrutinizing her every stitch! April just needs to mature a bit and learn to implement her designs based on her vision.

In the end it came down to Michael and Mondo for the win. Miranda seemed Team Mondo, particularly given that she was to be wearing the gown. Michael ultimately wins again and he is sucking up to Miranda something major. Where are the pics of Miranda wearing said gown?

Next Week: The designers must find a muse in the community and borrow their clothes! And Mila butts head with Kenley!

THOUGHTS ON THE RESULTS?