Last night we were treated to episodes of Big Ang! Christmas in August? I don’t mind if I do…
The first episode centered around Ang‘s birthday, and her husband Neil decided to celebrate her big day by having her face tattooed on his body. If that isn’t love, I honestly don’t know what is. We learn early on that while Ang loves that Neil and her son A.J. have such a strong relationship, Neil grates on her last nerve. She’s not impressed that he’ll be tatting himself as her birthday gift until she learns it will be a portrait of her. Ang decides she gets to pick the picture he’ll use. Well, duh.
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Ang has noticed that Neil has been cleaning up and wearing cologne lately. She hopes he’s just horny and not seeing someone else on the side. Not that she really has time to worry…she’s thinking of starting her new spray tan business. Her sister Janine has found the perfect spot…it’s next to one of those tax places that hires almost homeless people to dance on the sidewalk dressed as the Statute of Liberty. Wait, is that just how it works in my hometown? Ang certainly has a vision for this spray tanning business.
Poor Kilo and Louis are exiled while Ang’s house is cleaned. A.J. calls from his treatment program, and he get the third degree from his mother. I think he remind her how strict the program is fifteen times within the first four minutes of their conversation. A.J. invites Ang to come visit on family day as long as she brings lots of home cooking. Ang shares with her son that her husband will be getting a nude picture of her tattooed somewhere on his body. The convo isn’t mother-son bonding at it’s finest!
At the Drunken Monkey, Ang regales in the news of her spray tanning venture with her young bartenders. They plan to be her first customers. She also tells them about Neil’s nudie tat…because clearly everyone needs to know about that!
Ang and her ginormous breasticulars are cooking up a storm for A.J.’s family day. Jen comes by to help with catering event. After seeing all of Ang’s food, I’d consider going to a treatment facility just to get that spread!
As if this show wasn’t amazing enough, Ang decides to do a semi-nude photo shoot so that Neil will have some photos to work with when deciding what pic of Ang to permanently place on his body. She has a great time flaunting boobs and boas on the set.
Ang goes to Janine to talk about her food-filled visit with A.J. She reveals that her husband, who is terrified of pain, will be getting a tattoo for her birthday. Janine basically says she’ll believe it when she sees it. Ang agrees…Neil is such a sissy when it comes to pain. She accompanies Neil on his inking experience, and I have to say, he doesn’t look like he handle pain well. The more pain Neil seems to be in, the more Ang appreciates his sacrifice…until she gets bored of watching. She decides to get some lips tattooed on her back while Neil continues to be inked with her naked likeness on his leg. Wow. It’s quite the work of art! Too bad the face looks nothing like Ang!
On the second installment, Ang is spreading the love with some gay pride antics. She’s also mistaken–a lot!–for a drag queen. Her first mistake is wearing a platinum blonde wig to the Drunken Monkey. She explains that Wigged Out Wednesdays allow patrons to drink for free if they sport hairpieces. It’s not her finest promotional moment. Her friends arrive, and Jen has a wig hanging out all areas of her short shorts, claiming she forgot to wax. And wow.
Jen is jealous to learn that Ang has been invited to support gay pride. We get our first glimpse at Ang’s lip tattoo, her ridic closet, and her sex robe. Jen is convinced that Ang needs to make a Goodwill donation stat.
Ang and company are excited to participate in the gay pride parade. Ang is enamored by drag queens. She has the brilliant idea that drag queens need to be incorporated into the Drunken Monkey line-up. She immediately starts lining up entertainment while Linda makes a flipping fool out of herself.
Janine’s husband Dominick arrives with Ang’s newest addition. She had a zebra statute that had seen better days, and Ang decided to have him spray painted to become a black stallion. She needs her own decorating show. After finding a home in her patent leather living room for the new horse, Ang heads to the spray tan space so that her vision can come to life. Of course, every great spray tan salon needs a stocked bar. Ang isn’t thrilled to learn that she will have to be educated in spray tanning to be somewhat successful at her new venture.
Bartender Frankie visits Ang, and he thinks that a drag queen night at the bar will be amazing. Ang enlists Frankie as her guinea pig so she can practice spray tanning. He’s a willing participant, and he ends up very, very tan. Both Ang and Frankie are satisfied with the results.
Jen has convinced Ang to consign some of her clothes. Holy majoley, Ang has spent a ton of money of some very questionable looking designer duds. Not shockingly, Ang wants to replace the items she’s getting rid of by shopping at the store. I can totally relate.
Drag queens convene on casa de Ang to get help Ang prepare the Drunken Monkey’s first drag queen extravaganza. There is a great deal of make-up application, shot taking, and glitter painting. Ang is really hoping to look like a drag queen herself…um, mission accomplished! The bar’s first drag queen night is a total success. Ang arrives in a hot pink wig with her chest on display (you’re welcome for the reference, Melissa Gorga!). TuesGays is a hit, and I kind of wish I was lucky enough to be in attendance! It wouldn’t be an episode of Big Ang if Linda wasn’t making a fool of herself…this week, she’s got drag queens taking body shots off of her. Priceless!
Next week, Ang goes shopping for the engagement ring that Neil never bought for her, and she threatens to leave him if he doesn’t foot the bill for it. Some of the Mob Wives are in attendance for A.J.’s welcome home pool party.
WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE DOUBLE DOSE OF ANG? DO YOU THINK NEIL’S TATTOO LOOKS LIKE ANG?
[Photo Credit: VH1.com]