I don’t even know what to say about the fact that train wrecks of Teen Mom 2 are back for another season.  Part of me roots for these girls like no tomorrow, but the other part of me wants them to get their shiz together off camera and step up to the plate.  Regardless, Jenelle Evans, Kailyn Lowry, Chelsea Houska, and Leah Messer (now Calvert) are back for yet another round. 

Right off the bat, we’re reminded of the tension (for lack of a better word) between Jenelle and mom Barbara.  Jenelle has broken up with Kieffer Delp while completing a rehab stint for her marijuana addiction, and she’s been diagnosed as bi-polar.  She plans to stay on the straight and narrow.  I’ll keep my laughing to a minimum.  Jenelle shares that she and her mother are getting along well, and her attorney Dustin Sullivan calls to remind her that one passed drug test isn’t a victory.  She needs to remain on the straight and narrow.

Chelsea recaps her past with the always awesome and supportive Adam Lind.  While Chelsea appreciates that her mom is willing to help her with daughter Aubree’s childcare, she hates that her job at the tanning bed keeps her from spending so much time with her kid.  Chelsea reveals to her mom that Adam may move in over the weekend, although they aren’t quite back together…at all.  He’s just being nice.  Shocking, I know!


Kailyn reminds us of her back and forth with baby Isaac’s father Jo and her other boyfriend Jordan.  She’s moved out on her own, and she’s trying to figure out what to do.  She receives an evaluation from Isaac’s daycare that says he’s not the most social of toddlers.  Kailyn’s friend Mark urges her to reconnect with Jordan since he was such a great support system for her.  Kailyn doesn’t want to be with Jordan just because he’s good to her if she doesn’t have feelings for him.

Leah and Corey Simms’ wedding and divorce are revisited, as are twin Ali’s health issues.  Leah admits that she cheated on Corey before their wedding, but she wants to make things work.  While he’s ready to throw in the towel, Leah thinks he’ll only attend Ali’s doctor’s visits at his lawyer’s urging.  Leah shares with her friend that was willing to do whatever to make her marriage work, but Corey wasn’t on board. 

Jenelle is trying to get a job working with a youth program in Wilmington.  She assures her interviewers that she never yells and loves spending time with children.  Um, what?  I’d snark more, but Jace is just too precious.  Jenelle and her friend head to the beach.  She states that rehab was very relaxing, and she learned some great coping skills.  Her friend touts her new personality when she hears that Jenelle is on meds for her bi-polar disorder.  Meanwhile, Jace is trying to dig a hole to China while no one is paying attention to him.  Dig away, Jace, dig away!

Chelsea’s friend is proud of her for pursuing her GED.  Her friend, like everyone else on the planet, can see through Chelsea’s whole “Adam and I aren’t together, but he’s so much nicer to me, right?  RIGHT??” and hopes she’ll stop being such a doormat. 

Kailyn’s friend Mark comes for a visit, and I’m confused.  Is she living in a loft? There is bed directly behind the sectional sofa.  She makes Mark watch Jo’s latest music video (it was hard to type that with a straight face).  Kailyn cites that Jo looks hot in the vid, while his leading lady looks like a hood rat.  Mark sees through Kailyn’s petty jealousy and calls her out on it.  I like Mark.  Can he be a staple this season?

Ali is making great strides with the physical therapist, and Leah wishes that Corey would more involved now that they aren’t living together.  Leah gets upset after a heated text message exchange with Corey.  In all fairness, she’s getting on him for being more of a dad now that they are separated.  She doesn’t take kindly to him reminding her that she was the first to file for divorce.  The truth hurts, Leah. 

Jenelle and Barbara are back screaming and cursing at each other in front of Jace.  He’s getting old enough to pick up this language sooner or later.  I forgot how much their bickering grated on my last nerve.  Barbara is awful, but Jenelle should show some respect.  Of course, after bitching to her mother that she knows how to raise Jace, she leaves him in Barbara’s care so she can go to the beach with her friend.  Geez.  Those are some stellar coping skills!

Chelsea, Adam, and baby Aubree are heading on family date.  Things between the parents haven’t changed.  Adam is distant, and Chelsea nags more than Mrs. Roper on Three’s Company.  Aubree is bawling when Adam gets a call about potential work.  Before they can even order, the trio leaves. 

Leah texts Corey about a last ditch attempt at marriage counseling.  He and his step-dad are front and center for Ali’s doctor’s appointment.  I don’t care who you are, Corey’s a good dad.  It’s beyond evident that he’s having a hard time being around Leah because he’s still in love with her and hurt by her betrayal.  The couple gets some positive news from the nurse.  Ali has made great progress, and while she may not walk as soon as they’d like, the doctors predict she’ll be walking soon.

Kailyn is dishing with her friend about Jo’s potential new girlfriend.  She’s worried that Jo is neglecting time with Isaac in favor of sexy times with his new lady.  Kailyn isn’t thrilled that Jo is exploring his options.  But she isn’t at all jealous.  Not one bit.  Not one bit, I tell you!

Due to Aubree’s fussiness on the family date, Chelsea and Adam opt for take-out and head back to her house.  Aubree is downing some egg rolls with ketchup.  Gag.  The pair decides this is the opportune time to rehash their relationship.  Adam is so good at playing Chelsea.  He’s not ready to be exclusive, but he misses her.  I think maybe his lease is up and he needs a place to live.

After Jenelle’s fight with her mind, Jenelle gets high despite her stint in rehab.  She shares with her friend that she’s worried about failing her drug test.  Her friend thinks she needs to find a way to flush it out of her system stat, or she’s going to be in jail.  Jenelle regrets flushing her sobriety down the drain for one night. 

Despite the awkwardness at Ali’s appointment, Leah hopes that she and Corey can still reconcile.  The family shares a tender moment, although we all know how things end up for the pair.  Jo visits Kailyn so she can chat with him about bringing his new lady around their son.  Kailyn drops a bomb when she asks if his new girlfriend knows they are still having sex.  Jo thinks that the pair is doing a great job co-parenting, but if Kailyn’s going to be so strict about boundaries, perhaps they need to stop doing the mattress mambo.  I feel badly that she’s so hurt and jealous, but I also wonder why she’s so shocked?  She did the same thing to Jo first!

This season, Leah moves forward, while Chelsea’s dad is mad to find out that Adam has moved in with her.  Of course, there is an impending break-up.  Jenelle deals with legal issues and jail time, and she also hears from Jace’s dad…although she’s not totally sure he’s the father.  Kailyn can’t deal with Jo’s new lady love even when she finds a new guy. 

This season is going to be good y’all!


[Photo Credit: MTV]

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