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Is it just me, or could VH1 afford to redo the opening credits for Mob Wives?  Sure, I love to see Drita D'Avanzo, Renee Graziano, Karen Gravano, and Carla Facciolo walking the mean streets of Staten Island, but doesn't Ramona Rizzo feel a bit left out?  What about Big Ang and the new girl Love Majewski?  Loosen those purse strings, VH1!  The ladies are back with an explosive premiere, and the personalities are all over the place!  Drita staying out of drama?  Carla growing a pair?  Thank goodness we have Ang to be a calm in the ever brewing storm!

The season 3 premiere begins with besties Carla and Drita watching their tiny dogs on the boardwalk.  Carla reveals that Ang's son is getting more time than just rehab for his drug dealing, and she's also heard that Renee has yet another problem with her.  Drita says that she is finally on Renee's good side (and she wants to keep it that way!), but Carla doesn't care whether she is able to resolve her issues with Renee.  She goes off on Renee's pill-popping problem, and it makes Drita very uncomfortable.  Drita asks Carla if she can play peacemaker.  Carla doesn't care one way or the other.  This is going to get ugly!

Renee is changing the locks because she's had a recent break-in and her surveillance camera was camera.  Clearly, it was someone trying to intimidate her.  They even ripped up her Bible.  Renee believes that it was some of Junior's former cohorts who are mad he turned state's evidence.  She tells son AJ that she wants to get a gun.  He rolls his eyes.  Renee wants to talk smack about Junior to their son, and he admits that he knows what his dad did was wrong.  However, he hates that his mother wants to speak ill of his dad to him.  AJ yells that Renee needs to respect him.  I feel for him.  He's in a tough spot between both crazy parents.

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At Big Ang's house, we're introduced to Love.  They clearly have a lot in common.  They have enough melons between them to start their own fruit stand!  They've known each other for over twenty years, and Love went to high school with Karen and Ramona.  Ang has removed several toe bones in hopes of relieving her gout.  She is happy that AJ is finally getting the help he needs.  She dishes to Love about the drama between Carla and Renee.  Love has no love lost for Renee.  Apparently Renee accused her of sleeping with Junior.  Love is already asserting her dominance.  She's poisoned, shot, and stabbed people.  Ang loves her crazy friend, although she's also scared of the lunatic side of Love.  Ang is hoping to have a peaceful party at the Drunken Monkey for all of the girls.  I hope she has a lot of property insurance!

Drita and Renee are meeting for cocktails, and Renee is quick to show off her tight new bum.  She tells Drita about her recent robbery.  The people who ransacked her home even left a calling card in her toilet.  Um, gross!  Drita shares that Lee will be home in six months.  Renee hopes that Drita will be able to get over her issues with Lee, and then she goes off on a cuss-filled rant about what a husband-stealing hoochie Carla is.  Drita is clearly uncomfortable (I like to see the calmer side of my girl Drita), but Renee tells the tale of Carla moving in on her friend's husband at a party.  Renee has no respect for women who sleep with married men.  Drita offers to have a sit-down with the women, but Renee goes off saying that she'll beat Carla to a pulp if she ever sees her.  Drita makes a terrible error in judgment (pot stirring isn't becoming) by telling Renee that Carla called her a junkie.  As far as Renee is concerned, it's game on with Carla.

Ramona is attempting to remain drama free, so she goes go-karting with her daughters.  She shares with her girls the status of her boyfriend's prison time.  The family is going to have to move because the rental house they are living in is being sold.  The girls' father is allegedly a deadbeat, and the girls are appalled to learn that they will be moving into an apartment.  Her eldest daughter is the voice of reason…she doesn't care where they live or whether they have to share bedrooms.  She just wants her family together. 

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Carla and Drita meet for lunch, and Drita spills the details of her conversation with Renee.  Carla is livid to hear that Renee is accusing her of sleeping with married men.  She's even more disturbed to hear that Renee is telling people that Carla believes Renee had surgery to look more like her.  As if Renee could ever look like Carla!  She laughs at the mere thought of it!  Carla starts with the junkie name calling.  Drita needs to get out of the middle of this situation.  Of course, if she did that, VH1 wouldn't have a show now, would they?

Drita goes to visit Ang, and she is grossed out by Ang's toes.  Drita tells Ang about the beef between Carla and Renee.  Ang reminds Drita that Carla tweeted something negative about Renee's AJ.  Ang is always the cussing voice of reason.  She doesn't want to be a part of the drama.  The women hope that their friends can work through their hatred like grown-ups…because we all know how well that works out with these ladies!  That night, the women are getting together at the Drunken Monkey.  Renee and Karen arrive first, and Ang tries to talk some sense into Renee about Carla to no avail.  Love shows up next…she is good friends with Karen, but Renee can't stand her.  Renee asks Karen and Ang to give them some privacy to discuss their differences.  Renee wonders why Love slept with her husband.  From a distance, Ang and Karen think that things are going well…and surprisingly they are!  Love promises that she wouldn't ever sleep with a married man, and Renee, remembering what a lying skeeze Junior is, decides that she's being honest.  All is well.

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Carla and Renee are getting all dolled up to go to Ang's for brunch.  Drita and Ang are hoping for a peace summit, but it's likely to end up as World War III.  Renee shows up with a very happy personality.  She is a tad scary, no?  Carla arrives not long after, and I'm starting to worry about Ang's poor belongings.  She did just get new furniture, after all.  There is awkward silence until Renee goes off on Carla about hitting on her friend's husband.  Carla starts yelling about how she was talking to the guy, but she didn't do anything inappropriate…in fact it was that guy who wouldn't leave Carla alone.  Even if that was the case, Renee wants to know why she would entertain conversation with a married man.  Is Renee for real?  Renee then asks if Carla has been calling her a junkie.  Not one to back down, Carla admits it.  Ang breaks in and asks if they can refrain from using the word junkie in light of her son's drug problem.  How can you not just love Big Ang?  Renee then explains that she is an addict.  Whoa.  That's quite a confession.  Ang doesn't see why Carla's bedroom is any business of Renee's.  This brunch is not going well.  Carla is emphasizing her point with a butter knife, and Renee taunts her about stabbing her.  Carla and AJ's Twitter war is revisited, and while I agree that AJ shouldn't be calling out his mom's friends on social media, I also totally understand Renee wanting to be protective of her son.  "I never did like that Twitter," opines Ang amidst puffing on her clove cigarette while the women screech back and forth across the table.  I love that while they are screaming at one another, Carla helps herself to seconds.  Finally the women decide to be civil and not speak. Is it just me, or did I miss Carla truly denying any extramarital shenanigans.  I know she said she didn't sleep with married men, but she was louder when yelling that her sex life was none of Renee's business.  Ang and Drita, I'd say your brunch was an epic fail.  Ang is dying laughing about it too, which makes her even more awesome.

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This season, Drita and Ramona have a sit down, and Love and Carla have start off on the wrong foot.  There's a bar brawl at the Drunken Monkey,and Renee heads to rehab.  We also watch the Mob Wives rally after the devastation of Sandy.  Joe wants to cut ties from Carla while Karen has trust issues of her own. 

TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE MOB WIVES PREMIERE?  ARE YOU TEAM RENEE OR TEAM CARLA?

[Photo Credit: VH1]

 

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