Sister Wives Recap: Lather, Rinse, Retreat

sister wives

Well, well, well.  Are we starting to see some deeper cracks in Kody Brown's "happy" marriages? TLC needed to save the biggest issues for the final episode of the season of Sister Wives. Robyn's budget jewelry line, Meri's coveted wet bar, Janelle's scale hatred, and Christine's crafting have been leading up to some finale night dramz!

Last night, we began with Kody sharing that he and his wives went to counseling when living in Utah, and they are meeting with a new therapist to discuss their issues. This woman was recommended by their previous therapist who specialized in plural families.  After taking personality tests (Meri is not on board), we learn that this process is just furthering their mission statement goal.  That's really going to be their thing, isn't it?  Kody is initially wary of this educated woman.  She's probably a feminist, and feminists aren't fans of polygamy.  Who knew?

Kody and Meri are sitting down with Mariah to discuss her expensive tuition.  Mariah's scholarship doesn't cover very much, and the school costs much more than Logan's UNLV education.  Mariah offers to get another job, but Kody reminds her that her she has sixteen other siblings that they need to consider.  Kody isn't willing to co-sign any loans because, you know, he wants to retire.  Tell me again how you retire from not having a job?  Mariah is devastated, and Meri tells Kody that they've been working on other scholarship options that he isn't aware of since he's been so M.I.A. lately.  Wait, I thought this cul-de-sac compound was supposed to bring everyone closer….literally?

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You know, it's not fair to ask for Kody to help finance a college education when he's  busy designing horrible necklaces for his wives.  He has the brilliant idea to have the wives open them in front of one another…in the order in which they were married.  Meri adores hers, although to me it looks like tattoo.  Janelle is also thrilled with her tree (whew!  I was worried about that one).  Robyn jumps in front of Christine in line to receive her jellyfish phoenix rising from the ashes.  The women ooh and ahh over Christine's Tinkerbell knock-off, but she is clearly less than impressed.  She is holding back tears, and admits that she isn't a fan.  Don't worry, Kody still loves her though.

The wives and Kody are going on a couples (?) retreat with therapists past and present.  Their first therapist, Pat, admits that when she first met the Browns five years ago there was a lot of anger and tears that have since been resolved….kind of…a little…okay, not really.  She's nervous about the retreat, as are the wives.  The crew arrives in Arizona (TLC and Bravo missed quite an epic opportunity for a healing crossover with the peeps of Real Housewives of New Jersey).  Kody is prepping for what he is sure will be a hippy free for all.  He should fit right in with his hair.

Meditation is the first exercise, and surprisingly Christine and Janelle are excited about learning the practice.  Next, the group meets with new counselor Nancy and Pat. Meri starts to cry, and Kody is immediately called out by the new therapist.  Robyn finds her to be aggressive, but Janelle believes she is just doing the job they asked her to do. Janelle admits that she doesn't feel very invested in the group anymore.  Am I the only one who is creeped out by the fact that Kody is playing with both Robyn and Christine's hair simultaneously?  The family escapes the heaviness of the session to take some pictures and explore the beautiful scenery.

The following day, Robyn is playing hooky, and Nancy is disappointed because she thinks that each wife needs to be invested for this therapy to work.  Nancy revamps the plans, and they head off to commune with nature.  Pat says her farewells, and she just seems like such a nice lady. The wives have agreed to do individual therapy sessions.  While Janelle isn't planning to go anywhere, she reveals that she isn't close with Meri and Robyn.  During Kody's one-on-one, he admits that while his wives want to work on their relationship with him, he's not so sure they care to work on their relationships with each other.  Robyn wanted plural marriage because she wanted sister wives, and Christine just wants to ramble on about the mission statement.

All of the wives (except for newbie Robyn) touch on past drama and tumultuous history in their sessions.  Cue Meri's tears.  I get the feeling that she was common denominator in all of their problems.  Hell, who couldn't have deduced that from her wet bar tantrums?  The next group exercise has scared most of the participants.  Kody finds Nancy's aggressive tactics to heighten their vulnerability, and Robyn thinks the whole thing is just awkward. It's basically a stand-off between Janelle and Christine with Meri and Robyn.  Kody wonders if the women would stay together as a family if her were no longer around.

The wives realize that they all have some things to work on in an effort to make their unconventional marriage work. Nancy gifts them some chalkboard blocks where they can write down words that are important to their family mission statement. Crafting AND the mission statement?  Christine is over the moon! Janelle is shocked that she has such an opinion about the statement.  Everyone is grateful for Nancy's assistance…well, not really Robyn.  She doesn't trust monogs.

TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S FINALE?  WAS THERAPY HELPFUL?

[Photo Credit: TLC]

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