Last night was the first half of the Mob Wives season finale, and it's not even worth attempting an introduction, so let's just dive in, shall we? Renee Graziano shows up at Big Ang's house, as does Drita D'avanzo. The ladies eat, drink, and chat about Renee's journaling and lack of sex. All of this has lead Renee to write her own version of 50 Shades of Gray. Enter Renee's "sex book." So there's that. It's fiction according to Renee. If it was real, she'd be in a much better place. Renee reads excerpts from her novel, and it's dirty, which is good, right? Her publisher is hosting a launch party for her. That is apparently what reality stars do.
In Philly, Natalie Guercio is meeting with Alicia diMichele Garofalo to discuss Alicia's situation with her sentencing. She admits that she took off her wedding rings after hearing her husband's wire taps. She is ready for divorce, but she's terrified about her sentencing. Natalie is scared for her friend's future. Later, Ang and Drita are planning a one-on-one with Natalie at Ang's house to discuss Natalie's recent behavior. They are upset about Natalie's recent Twitter battle with Renee. Natalie believes that if Renee is able to dish it on social media, she should be able to take it. Drita and Ang wonder why Natalie felt the need to get involved in the first place. Has Natalie watched this show before? She should know better than to awaken the Twitter beast in Renee. The women warn Natalie play nice.
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Ang and Renee are going to look at a house that her husband Neil wants to buy. The women walk down memory lane as Ang tours homes that her wise-guy ex bought her back in the day. As Ang remembers her first favorite house, she realizes that this lifestyle is far too easy to easy in which to return. She likes the way things are going now, and she's happy that she's moved past her past and loving things instead of people. Meanwhile, Drita is trying to get her daughter Giselle into modeling. Drita is concerned that Giselle isn't into the pictures, but her young daughter is twirling up a storm. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. Giselle's a model, y'all!
It's the night of Renee's sex book launch (so that happened quickly, didn't it?), and there is already a mock-up of the hard cover edition of her book. The ladies convene on the party to show their support, and I am still confused as to when Renee had the time to 1) write erotica; and 2) promote said erotica. I guess it was it is. Look for my book in 2015! Not. Renee is happy that Drita, Ang, and Alicia are all in attendance. Natalie arrives and everyone is on pins and needles that she will rattle Renee. Not deterred, Renee gives a reading from her sex novel. She's thrilled that the audience is cheering. Natalie prompts the DJ to play a song she can perform on stage. the song is all about calling a Renee's boy toy "delicious" in a British accent. Drita is ready to clock her. Renee plays it cool and is nothing but kind in light of Natalie's tackiness. It's a win for Renee, without question.
Alicia is nervously awaiting her sentencing, and she advises her brother on what needs to be done in the event she's carted off to jail on the spot. She talks to her brother about the contingency plan if she goes to jail. Her mother and brother are on stand-by to be surrogate parents and bill-payers. Alicia is trying to be strong, and she's ready to accept her fate. On Staten Island, Ang is getting frustrated with son A.J. and husband Neil for their ridiculousness. She's wondering if she should be considering a baby with Neil. She's about to become a grandmother twice given that her son's girlfriend is pregnant, as is her step-daughter. Ang and Neil decide that with the onslaught of grandchildren, they need to put their plans for a child on hold.
Natalie is dining with boyfriend London, and they are discussing whether she should move to New York. After a sad apartment hunting session, Natalie has decided to stay in Philly. Her eyes were opened when London didn't realize how much she would be giving up by leaving her hometown. She asks him about their future and throws out the "M" word. She invites London to move to Philly but that is never going to happen. Is she crazy? Is that a rhetorical question?
Drita is baking with her daughters, and she is excited to have her entire family around for the holidays. When she mentions baking a carrot cake, her girls are immediately up at arms. Apple pie trumps carrot cake in their book any day…not mine. Bring on the carrot cake! Drita reminds her daughters that their father has made a huge sacrifice for them by being on the straight and narrow. Speaking of, Alicia is getting her boys ready for school before heading to court to learn her fate. Her family accompanies her to the courthouse, as she puts on quite the brave face. Alicia's friends are terribly worried for her. Ang and Drita discuss her situation, and they are both distraught…although not as distraught as Alicia.
Renee is equally concerned about Alicia until she learns that Junior knows she consulted an attorney about getting a divorce. Not shockingly, Renee is upset…but even more upset when she learns that Junior could be getting released the following day. The next morning, Natalie catwalks into the courthouse for Natalie's sentencing, taking notice of all the paparazzi. On Staten Island, Renee reveals to Drita that Junior knows she saw a lawyer and he may be getting out of jail. The women quickly move on to how unfair it is that Alicia is getting punished for her husband's bad behavior. The ladies wonder why it's taking so long to get an update from Alicia. Did she get five years? Did she lose everything? What will she tell her boys? Why is the finale "to be continued?"
TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE? WHAT IS UP WITH RENEE BEING AN AUTHOR OF SOFT CORE PORN?
[Photo Credit: VH1]