Admittedly, I do this every time a newbie joins a franchise. I fall in major like with the fresh face only to come back and bite my words a few seasons later. Real Housewives of New York is no different. I love Kristen Taekman. I adore that she's friends with Carole Radziwill and (Holla!) Heather Thomson. She's even a good sport with LuAnn deLesseps (who I like more now that she's in smaller doses) and Sonja Morgan. Best of all? She finds Aviva Drescher to be a total nut job…and, truth be told, I was quite the Aviva fan her freshman season. Hey, at least I realize my shortcomings, right?
Beginning her Bravo blog, Kristen jokes, "Yup, the 'new girl' is taking all these fancy NY Ladies to Montana. Naturally, Carole and I need a wax. Funny, so Carole and I spoke that morning and go figure, we both had waxes that day at the same place so we decided to go together! Don't all girlfriends go to hold their friend's hands while they get their kitty waxed? Ha ha! I roll in wax for real. I wax everything! Arms, legs, mustache, brows, kitty…TMI I know — but after all, this is a reality show! So we are waxed and ready for Montana! PS. Carole is a natural blonde who knew?? #shhhhhhhh" Bwahahaha! TMI, Kristen. T.M.I.
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Discussing breathe-gate, Kristen writes, "Here is the story behind the 'Doctor's Note': At Aviva's art party, I overheard her saying that she had asthma and might not be able to come to Montana. I chimed in (thinking "yeah right") and said well if that's the case, I needed a doctor's note. I was joking because when you have small kids you are always getting a doctor's note…Ha ha," adding, "I invited Aviva to Montana and she all of a sudden is extremely ill with asthma? Doctor's note, all sorts of pills, and inhalers? This is a classic cry wolf situation!!! It's like Heather said, there has never been a time when there wasn't an issue with Aviva and traveling! WTF is going on with this woman?!?" I was curious about the doctor's note, too. Aren't we all adults? It's not like you're trying to make up a school absence. If you can't go, you can't go. You don't need an MD to tell your friends.
A confused Kristen continues, "She tells Ramona [Singer] that she really wants to go on a trip with her and that she owes it to Ramona to be fun? Why can't Aviva bring out her 'fun' side in NYC? So weird. Really, so many damn excuses! Enough with the excuses and just own it and say 'I can't leave my husband,' or 'I am scared to fly,' or 'I really just don’t want to go!' Weird #crazy"
She writes, "Space Cowboy: Who would have thought that Ramona and I would be shopping together? I was excited to get some new cowboy gear. Did you see that super cute suede clutch I bought? Fun right? Love the tassels! Aviva had her bag of excuses and threw them at me. No more throwing!!! Ahhhhhhh…Who can ever believe her again? How do you go from having so many phobias to none? And now asthma? So bizarre to me! The whole thing is suspicious to me!"
Of the ladies' trip to the wild wild west, Kristen recalls, "Montana: We arrived in Montana and it was for real a #ghosttown. Of course, my first thought was 'What have I gotten us in to?' Even on the drive to the Ranch, we didn't see a thing! The horse drawn carriage was amazing! I tuned out the complaining. I was happy to see that Ramona and Sonja loved their cabins. They were gorgeous. I felt much better about booking the trip once I saw the bedrooms! Cattle herding was a first for all of us I think! Such a cool experience. OMG, my thighs were killing me. It was such hard work. I was very impressed by Sonja's riding. She is really a natural horse-rider! As we came over a ridge and had this amazing view, one of the cowboys said to us 'This is my office, how do you like it?'"
Kristen concludes, "When you live in such an amazing city like New York, it's very important to take trips like this and take a moment to breathe in some fresh air and smell the roses…or in this case, the horse poop. Dinner in the stables was beautiful. We ate in a private room that stored saddles. We could see and hear the horses, and smell the fresh hay and leather. It was really quiet amazing. Not to mention the food was out of this world! All fresh, organic, and healthy! Oh, I gave everyone fun cowgirl-themed Montana welcome bags! Once we finished talking about the facialist again, I felt good about being in Montana. Yeah we were going to have a great time…Ha ha! #staytuned"
Yup, still love her. And I'm also starting to like Ramona's special brand of crazy, if we're going full disclosure (although I didn't need to know Carole's natural hair color…if you know what I mean!).
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[Photo Credit: Michael Lavine/Bravo]