Keeping Up With The Kardashians Recap – Playing Dirty

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On last night's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians things begin at Kris Jenner's house with the ever adorable Mason announcing he is going to kick his Aunty KoKo's butt at sword fighting. Can I just say, if this show had more Mason and less kartrashian fakeness and orchestrated storylines I think this show would become more likeable. Mason is adorable and the family is equally adorable when they are with him.

Bruce Jenner, Scott Disick and Mason go on a man date. Bruce is still enjoying his hot and steamy love affair with Malibu. I don't think it's Malibu so much as it is being free from Kris Jenner. Scott wants to watch Bruce fly one of his toy helicopters. Bruce believes you shouldn't be a spectator in life and that you learn more from doing. Scott is all for it. #WordsOfWisdomByBruce

On a different note, Bruce asks Scott how he is doing since the sudden and tragic loss of both his parents. Scott reveals he can't believe this is his life now and he sometimes forgets they are gone. He even tries to call them sometimes without realizing no one will ever answer. My heart breaks for Scott. I hope Scott is comfortable with talking about his feelings on camera and this isn't the Kardashians abusing a storyline, because his pain and sadness is raw and real. To make a bad scene worse, Bruce tells Scott he is kind of stuck with them – family wise.

Khloe and Kim are on their weekly drive – is this where their scenes are filmed now? Apparently North is struggling to learn how to crawl. She prefers to just lie around. Surely not. This is Kanye West's perfect creation, she's basically a baby super hero and a gift to humanity that is perfect and can do everything. Kim reveals that North becomes side-tracked and eats the rug instead of crawling on it. #babygenius Kanye is not going to be pleased Kim is revealing is daughter is a mere mortal on national TV.

Rob arrives. I was beginning to wonder when his self-imposed exile from the family began. Evidently it’s not quite yet. The trio are training for a mud run. Although, the girls accost Rob mid-session with their gigantic butts, by squatting on the spot and forcing Rob to stop in his tracks. Khloe predicts Rob will run into their asses, the heads up gives Rob the chance to whip out his phone and film his sisters squatting… this is not normal sibling behavior. Kim is panicking, surely Rob realizes she is the 'selfie' queen and she doesn't like when others are in control of the camera. Is that because Rob doesn't understand all the rules of photo shop? #AirBrushMuch 

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Apparently Scott has gotten confused with the type of helicopters Bruce flies and he has decided he wants a real one. You see, Scott just watched 'The Wolf of Wall Street', and decided he is basically Jordan Belfort’s twin because they both have white Lamborghinis. Apparently Scott needs a helicopter just like Jordan so they can be twinning. I think Kourtney needs an accountant to curb Scott's spending habits. Kim on the other hand is excited and loves luxury. I think Kim just goes along with whatever Scott says because she knows how much it frustrates Kourtney.

Kourtney and Kris are out shopping and discussing helicopter gate. Kris thought Scott was joking. Kourtney however, is at a cross-roads. She is suddenly realizing she has been morphing into Mama Kris over the years by saying 'No' to all Scott's crazy ideas. Kris feels like a helicopter is financially irresponsible when the monthly cost is higher than a mortgage and when they have children and college to consider. Kourtney doesn't want to treat Scott the way Kris treated Bruce, by black balling all of the things he wanted. Kris feels like she should get a medal for selling Bruce's toys and keeping their family afloat. Apparently a house in Lake Tahoe is considered a toy to these people!?

Over at Kourtney and Scott's house Bruce brings over his flight simulator. Scott isn't having any of the silly simulator stuff he wants the real deal – Jordan Belfort style. Kourtney gives in and agrees to let Scott install a helipad in their back yard. Kourtney thinks Scott has been depressed since his parents’ deaths and wants him to be happy. Oh dear lord! Kourtney is like one of those newly divorced parents that can't say no to their child.

Kourtney and Khloe are off to aerial yoga. Is this all this family ever does? Apparently Khloe’s work out style is hard core and full throttle. Ok then. However she needs the edge on Kim for their upcoming mud run. Kim is becoming a bit competitive, probing Khloe about when she works out and constantly bragging about how fit and healthy she is. Khloe is over it, and will stop at nothing to beat her sister! Kourtney is tagging along for the day. Khloe's attempt at aerial yoga looks nothing like the instructors. Kourtney however aces all the aerial yoga tricks. Who knew the earth mother was a closet aerialist.

Over at Khloe's, Penelope is finally talking on camera! Yay! Penelope and Mason are trying on Khloe's heels and Kim is trying on bras for her upcoming mud run. Maybe she thinks she can swing a mud bath during the run if she wears next to nothing.  Khloe thinks her semi nakedness is a strategic plan on Kim's part. Khloe just keeps envisioning pushing Kim's face into mud! Meeee toooooooo!

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It's the day of the mud run! Khloe wants to prove that Kim isn't the only fit one in the family any more. Kim believes when you become a mother you are stronger at everything. Shade? Kim tries to psych Khloe out by announcing she weighs less now than she did prior to her pregnancy. Khloe isn't rattled, when she works out she goes hard-core and with vengeance! She likes to sweat and according to Khloe, Kim's style is far more relaxed. Khloe predicts Kim will start crying on the course, and not long into their mud run Kim is complaining and whining. Too bad Khloe didn't predict she would lose a shoe! Khloe's shoe drama allows Kim to catch up. Kim decides the sisterly thing to do is to ram into her while she is shoe-less. Khloe was waiting for that moment, and decides to go ham on this girl. Her words. The pair look as though they have confused mud run with mud wrestling. Khloe pushes Kim in the mud and holds her down until she admits defeat and declares Khloe is the champion of competing. Kim finally admits defeat, mainly because she is scared she will get a yeast infection from the mud. Khloe thinks Kim's ass looks good in mud. The pair finish the race but not before Khloe drops her vagina line of the night, apparently she has mud everywhere.

Scott is on cloud nine, Scott has bought Bruce a pilot's uniform. I'm sorry I can't take Bruce seriously when he is wearing a pilot's hat that says LD Air. Kris argues that Bruce doesn't even have a pilot’s license but only an airplane license and likens his uniform to a Halloween costume. Bruce argues it’s just simple paperwork and reveals when they first got married Kris was so into the plane she once had sex with him in the back of his plane while the plane drove on auto pilot. I just threw up in my mouth. Kris protests that it wasn't good judgment; Bruce labels it the real mile high club. Kourtney finds the conversation intense. Kris feels like Bruce is taking on a dangerous job, Scott retorts that he took on a far more dangerous job years ago – marrying Kris! Oh Scott, I am loving the shade you occasionally throw at Kris. I almost love it as much as Bruce does! Kris takes Kourtney aside to find out why she hasn't rectified this helicopter madness. Kourtney doesn't want to be bossy like Kris, but Kris feels it's not bossy it's called making intelligent decisions. Kourtney doesn't want Scott to end up resenting her so she decides to not put limitations on things.

The backyard has been roped off for the helipad and Scott is starting to have second thoughts when he sees how much room the helipad takes up in the backyard. He ponders that the helicopter may even be hazardous to his kids. Scott jokes about putting the kids up for adoption. Unfortunately for Scott, it's his dreams of owning a helicopter that are going up for adoption.

Scott decides to go with a kid-friendly slide instead of a chopper. He admits it would have been nice to have a chopper but when you have kids life is about compromises. He does appreciate that Kourtney allowed him to make the decision on his own rather than just instantly shutting his crazy ideas down. Even if this helicopter nonsense was just another storyline it made me happy to see Scott make a responsible decision for his family.

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Kris and Bruce are taking a walk along the beach in Malibu. Kris asks Bruce if he thinks she is a controlling crazy bitch. Bruce says Kris is 100% a controlling person with a dominant personality but it doesn't make her a bad person because she always has good intentions. Kris laments that her kids say that they don't want to be like her. Bruce reassures her that it doesn't mean they don't love her, it's more the way she handles certain things. Kris admits that while she feels bad about being controlling, she doesn't feel bad about her choices but she absolutely feels guilt for her approach. She asks for Bruce's forgiveness, Bruce instead says she doesn't need to apologize but she does need to let go and allow others to make their own mistakes and do things their way instead of the right way. Oh Bruce, after a quarter of a century did you learn nothing from your marriage to your pimp-manager wife? Take the apology! That woman is NEVER going to loosen the reins on any of you! Not even a divorce will free you of her or her controlling dominant personality.

TELL US – DO YOU THINK THEY'RE SETTING US UP FOR A KRIS-BRUCE RECONCILIATION? DO YOU THINK SCOTT HAD ANY REAL CHANCE AT GETTING A HELICOPTER?

Recap Author: Gina P.

Photo Credit: E! Online 

 

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