The ladies hit the beach last week on the Real Housewives of Potomac, and the air conditioning at Ashley Darby’s beach house wasn’t the only thing that broke down. But last night, the girls’ trip turned into a Plus One event when Ashley’s husband Michael decided to crash. And Karen Huger did not take too kindly to this etiquette breach!
We pick up on the couches, where the ladies are sharing some personal issues with the group, at the prodding of Charrisse Jackson-Jordan. Robyn Dixon confesses that her husband Juan’s best friend took a lot of money from them in a ponzi scheme, which pretty much decimated their financial capital. Robyn cries, noting the trust issues she carries around now as a result of being betrayed. Ashley reflects on what a floating turd she now looks like for spreading gossip about Robyn’s bankruptcy in the past.
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Ashley wonders if Katie Rost wants to share anything with the group? Katie’s short answer: nah. But Gizelle Bryant pushes Katie to divulge if everything is indeed okay with her, given her outlandish PDA with boyfriend Andrew at Ashley’s birthday party. Katie sort of deflects, but Gizelle wants to know if Katie was “on” anything at the party – besides Andrew’s jock, that is. She asks Katie directly if she was clean, and Katie says well, “we weren’t acting very clean,” which Gizelle interprets as a NO. Katie looks like she wants to evaporate into thin air. Poof! She escapes to her room instead to stick pins in her Gizelle Bryant voodoo doll.
Since it’s raining the next day, the ladies are cabin-bound. Robyn and Gizelle debrief about the night before in their room while Ashley and Karen do the same next door. Karen is still reeling about Gizelle’s “share” at the sister circle session, which involved poo. So, not the most emotional insight there. Robyn tells Gizelle she’s glad she went deep with the group, though, because she wants to be open. Karen and Ashley both think it was inappropriate for Gizelle to go so hard at Katie about basically being on drugs. (Can’t a girl just be flat out crazy!? Because Katie, um, is.)
In the living room, Charrisse and Brynee are catching up on Katie’s state of mind after the Gizelle interrogation. Katie plays it cool, but her eyes say differently. Enter: Gizelle, who the ladies confront immediately about her attack. Gizelle defends her behavior as motivated by concern, and anyway, wasn’t it Brynee who brought up the drug dirt anyway? Katie brushes Gizelle off with some shade about not asking her about her multiple sex partners, yadda yadda…and Gizelle is like: huh????? With nothing left to say here, Katie skulks out of the room with her cup of coffee to gather her thoughts.
Since her words didn’t work, Katie has taken to her bed. Non-housewife Brynee comes in to sh*t stir some more, encouraging Katie to “read” Gizelle before more resentment grows. Karen comes in to second that emotion, claiming she “would take her head off” if Gizelle came at her with that attitude. If Katie doesn’t stop her now, Gizelle will keep pecking at her until she’s all but a dry heap of thirsty ashes. Katie vows to
obey Karen’s wishes speak up.
It’s field trip time! Since “these b*tches love getting their photo taken,” Ashley says an old time photo session is in order. Plus, she snarks, it will remind them of their childhoods. The ladies, minus Katie, all have some innocent fun whilst they point faux pistols at each other and yuk it up for the camera.
After they return to their modern day
questionable garb, Katie pulls Gizelle aside to get her best read on. She wants to make it clear that Gizelle has no business calling her out in front of the group about being on drugs. Ask her about drugs in private next time! Even if her behavior was ridiculous (as everyone agrees), Gizelle doesn’t need to interject herself into the situation. Katie accuses Gizelle of attacking her character, therefore her parenting skills. Next time, come to her directly, she instructs. Shocked, Gizelle does a whole lot of okay-ing and uh-huh-ing, then promises to come to her privately in the future, apologizing for her misstep. So, is all well between them? I guess we’ll see.
Whatever beef may linger between Katie and Gizelle is no matter, for tonight they shall dance with drag queens! First, the group dines out at a location, thankfully, accepted by all bougie b*tches present. Ashley is relieved. Before their meals arrive, Karen decides it’s her turn to call Katie out. When is Andrew going to propose? she asks. Katie
lies insists that Andrew needs no ultimatum. That ring is practically on her finger, according to Katie’s deeply delusional thinking. Karen volunteers to ring shop with him, which given Andrew’s opinion of Karen, should go over just about as well as Katie renovating his home, MTV Punk’d-style.
Conversation turns to prenups, with Charrisse wondering who would/did sign one…because she did not. Gizelle didn’t, but would in the future. Ashley chirps that she did, and she just luuuuuvs her prenup! She gets a “very handsome” settlement, should the Aussie pot of gold not work out. Katie and Ashley bond over their fiscally conservative white men, but Katie opines that Andrew just doesn’t “get” what’s going on in the black community, which frustrates her. Gizelle wonders why Katie’s suddenly all Black Lives Matter! when she herself wants to check the “other” box, being mixed.
Robyn tries to steer the conversation into (sort of) calmer waters, asking Katie what she’d do differently in Marriage #2 than Marriage #1. (Curiously, there’s a lot of speculation out there about how and why and when Katie left husband #1, especially because the situation was so suspect given the extremely young age of their three children.) Katie says this time she’d do premarital counseling, which she didn’t do with James. She approached her first marriage with immaturity, she confesses. Good on her for getting a bit more real here.
Since everyone is suddenly getting along like grown women, Gizelle ends the dinner on a high note by speechifying about Ashley’s hosting skills. Despite the twin beds and box fans, Gizelle gives Ashley props for opening her home to the ladies and bringing them together as a group. Karen’s tutelage of Miss Ashley has apparently paid off, thus Ashley hugs her mentor in appreciation of helping her infiltrate this hive of killer B’s.
It’s time to head to the club, and Ashley’s riding high on her new-found status of Acceptable Person. Not so fast! Because lurking somewhere in the shadows is hubby Michael to ruin her good time once and for all…
Before Michael can bust up the girls’ night, the drag show’s host reads the entire cast in one fell swoop. After the ladies screech that they’re from Potomac to her on stage, she snarks, “Well, you look like you’re from DC Southeast.” To which Charrisse flashes her ring and does her best stink face. Alas, no stink face shall overcome the shade that has just been hilariously thrown, on behalf of the entire viewing audience, by this Supreme Queen! Bwaahahahaha!
Despite their crushed egos, the ladies rally for some dancing and drinking with the fabulous queens who traipse across the stage one by one. But lo! Who is that bald man slinking through the crowd in the darkness??
It’s Michael, of course, who is welcomed by Ashley with a kiss – and by Karen with an etiquette ticket. She complains to Ashley immediately that she does not want a MAN sleeping in the house! It’s inappropriate! Her weave is in a knot over the whole situation, Gizelle notes, and Ashley may not be the host they expected her to be. Ashley’s reaction: She.Does.Not.Care. Why are they so bothered, she wonders? 1. It’s his house. 2. He’s sleeping in her bed, and they’re not sharing a room with anyone. 3. The ladies are leaving in the morning.
As they hastily board the van outside, Karen and Gizelle try to school Ashley on her misdeed of allowing Michael to crash their party. But Ashley is not hearing it. She is incredulous that they are even taking issue with her husband, who’s just there to surprise her. Karen preaches that her husband Raymond would not be comfortable with her sleeping in a house with another man! Gizelle just wants to walk around freely in her panties because it’s 102 degrees in her room, and now she can’t! Ashley advises them to get over their menopausal meltdown, go to their rooms for the night, and stay there.
As the van door slams shut, Ashley heads back into the club to join Michael for a little late night action. The short bus riders are held hostage to Karen’s ranting on the way home, until she finally turns to her phone for relief. No doubt texting Raymond about the vicious man on the prowl who will undoubtedly be peeking at her goodies through the door crack tonight. I imagine the texts read something like this: MAN SLEEPING HERE! SCARED FOR LIFE! ASHLEY BETRAYED ME! <crickets> R U AWAKE? RAYYYYYYMOOOONNNNDDD!!
Robyn is not happy about the situation but, cool as she is, doesn’t feel the need to take issue with Ashley at Karen Huger Level Ten. Charrisse and Gizelle are pissed. And Katie couldn’t care less. Since the loudest voices win, Karen, Gizelle, and Charrisse win the day. As they convene on the couches awaiting Ashley and Michael’s return, Karen insinuates that they are all victims here. Victims!
Before they can relish their newly minted victim status for very long, Ashley and Michael waltz in to defend themselves. Ashley thinks everyone is blowing the situation out of proportion, but the ladies argue that it’s the principle of the matter. This was a girls’ trip, but now she’s ruined the vibe. For her part, Karen says she’s just taking a “note to motherf*cking self” about how Ashley rolls. And just like that, Charrisse notes how the Etiquette Queen has gone gangsta!
Karen says she won’t be darkening Michael’s beach house doorstep anytime in the future. Gizelle thanks Michael for her “little room,” pondering how he’d better not sneak his pants-protrusion in there tonight unless he wants it cut off. Robyn thinks everyone needs to calm the F down. On that note, the crowd disperses.
The next morning, Karen complains to Raymond about Michael’s presence, which he agrees is inappropriate. (Because inappropriate is their mutual fave word!) The ladies hop in their cars and roll out, thanking Ashley for her hospitality, but taking note of just who they’re dealing with hence forth.
TELL US: WAS IT INAPPROPRIATE OF MICHAEL TO CRASH THE GIRLS’ TRIP? DID GIZELLE COME TOO HARD FOR KATIE?
Photo Credit: Bravo