I have to admit, when I saw that tonight’s episode of Shahs of Sunset was titled “A Tale of Two Turkeys” I was worried we would spend the episode rehashing the two different versions of events that Mike Shouhed and Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi presented from their fateful cast trip to Turkey a few years ago. I guess I have spent too long following the Shahs but either way, I was relieve to find out that the turkey the title is referring to is just good old fashioned Turkey Day because it’s Thanksgiving on the Sunset. Time to give thanks, right? If by “thanks” I mean gossip, backstabbing and meddling in each other’s business! God, I love the holidays.
We open with Mike and buddy once more Reza Farahan walking their dogs and talking crudely about Mike’s dating life. Who really belongs on the leash here? Anyway, Reza thinks that it’s time that Mike gets back into the dating game and while Mike assures everyone that it’s not for lack of options, he feels like when you have been
cheating with someone for 5 years, it’s hard to get back into dating mode. Plus, he’s not technically divorced yet, although that didn’t seem to stop him from dating when he was actually married. Reza is shocked to hear this news, especially since he took the liberty of circling the divorce finalization date in a red sharpie marker on his calendar, signaling that it’s FINAL. I guess because if Reza uses a red sharpie, then all of the mediation, negotiation and litigation that it takes to finalize a divorce gets trumped by a red marker? I can’t understand why Reza is so shocked to hear this but since he has to turn everything into an ulterior motive, he asks Mike if he’s dragging his feet on the divorce because he’s still emotionally invested. Mike maintains that he’s just not ready and who knows, he probably has a full plate with all the baby shoes he selling (or something).
GG is at the Pleasure Chest and for those of you who can’t use your imaginations, it’s a sex shop. She’s looking terrified and considering how much GG has talked about sex in the past, I’m surprised to see how uncomfortable she seems in the presence of a dildo. One would think that with a friend like Mercedes “MJ” Javid, they would be commonplace for GG. But GG is here for business, not pleasure (get it?) because as a “theatrical actress” (HAAAAAAA!), she is doing research for her part in the off off Broadway production of Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man. Adam Neely arrives just in time for the Blow Job Class and GG isn’t even close to a penis but is gagging at the thought already. The Sex Therapist educates GG on how she can get over her hang ups of having a small mouth and gag reflex to really enjoy giving a blow job by using techniques like the aptly named “harmonica”. GG remains mortified and dubious throughout the whole thing but is committed to her craft and if her craft requires learning about blow jobs, then so be it.
Onto a more uplifting scene, Reza and MJ have been feeding the homeless the day before Thanksgiving for years now and have even managed to get the rest of the crew involved. They arrive at the Los Angeles Mission and even Destiney Rose is allowed to come (I forgot about her already). While food prepping, Destiney asks Asa Soltan Rahmati all about her family life and Jermaine and Asa is thrilled to bore her with the details as she drones on about how perfect everything is. MJ is stuck in the middle of this conversation and does her best to not have her eyes roll right out of her head in annoyance for how Asa is happy, happy, happy all of the time. I mean, except when she is whining about how hard pregnancy is and how no one is paying enough attention to her.
When they are done pretending to help, GG tells Shervin Roohparvar what a bad place she is in with sister Leila but she knows she should join them at Shervin’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. Shervin encourages her to send a text inviting her, so GG does and then immediately assumes she will end up regretting it. That’s the Thanksgiving spirit!
Mike meets Asa at the Middle Eastern market so he can add some Persian flare to the whole holiday. What he didn’t realize was that he was going to get a big, heaping side of guilt trip from good ole “no one cares about my pregnancy as much as I do” Asa. He can’t even ask her how she’s doing without hearing about uterus cramping and how sad she is that this is supposed to be the happiest time of her life but everyone is too busy crapping on her to enjoy it. For once, Mike isn’t really interested in entertaining this nonsense and believes that Asa is spending so much energy assuming that everyone has an issue with her, that she’s projecting it onto them in her own alternative reality. Plus, Asa isn’t so innocent and he reminds her about her level of self-absorption when they were in Israel and MJ was crying at dinner about her father while Asa snapped pictures of the pregnant fish she refused to eat. He’s got her there but Asa is as Teflon as she is pregnant because she deflects that statement right off her by claiming that she just didn’t hear what was happening. Mike changes course and tells her he doesn’t care about how she conceived but Asa latches onto that, wondering how the rumors about it even started. Mike came to play today because he doesn’t even bat an eye telling her it was her bestie Reza.
Ultimately, Asa claims that Jermaine’s request for privacy is what ultimately keeps her from sharing any of the more intimate details of her life. As much as I don’t think it’s anyone’s business how Asa conceived, I do think that it’s important to note that Asa seems to have no problem sharing all the happy and joyous things about her relationship (how their baby is a miracle, the sex of the baby, how excited her family is, how they are planning to raise the baby once he’s here) but she draws the line and claims she prefers privacy when it comes to anything else she doesn’t want to talk about. As much as I think she shouldn’t have to share every single aspect of her life with her friends just because they ask, it’s hard to take her excuse seriously when she constantly demands that everyone ask her about her pregnancy and attend to her.
Shervin’s family, along with girlfriend Annalise are there to celebrate Thanksgiving and Shervin is feeling the love, saying that he can see Annalise at all his family events moving forward. MJ shows up, armed with a Tupperware full of makeup so she can get ready at his house, presumably because he has running water. As she helps Shervin fold napkins, she tries to bring up the cheating rumors and Shervin tells her that she can see herself out if she is going to bring it up again.
Everyone else arrives at Shervin‘s for dinner but noticeably absent is Asa, who has decided to have her own quiet Thanksgiving with her parents, Reza and Adam. According to Asa, she just came from her doctor, who prescribed that she stay away from negativity and stress so naturally, she is going to break bread with the person who has been spreading rumors about how she conceived her unborn child. It doesn’t take long for Asa to confront Reza on this and he fully admits it without hesitating. Well, sort of, because then he throws MJ under the bus and says he wishes that he just got caught up in MJ’s pain about the whole thing. Deep down, Reza is really upset not about whether or not Asa is telling the truth about her pregnancy but that she’s forcing him to choose sides between her and MJ. Asa reiterates that she’s sad and she’s pregnant and blah, blah, blah, pregnant, pregnant I don’t even know what she’s saying outside of being pregnant anymore. They make up and Asa says she will forgive Reza but never forget. For Reza’s part, they might be hugging but he’s starting to realize the adverse effect of Asa’s secrecy in their group of friends.
Back at Shervin’s house, there’s also tension and tension’s name is GG. She starts with deciding that it’s her responsibility to tell Annalise about what Shervin has been up to while she’s planning their walk down the aisle in her head. You know, GG just wants to make sure that Annalise knows what she’s getting into. Would now be a good time to reminisce about when GG got into a huge fight with MJ because MJ told GG’s then-boyfriend about her kissing another guy? Remember how mad she was and how she told MJ it wasn’t her place to tell him? Yeah, lots of hypocrisy going on here but a rehabbed GG isn’t an enlightened one so she presses on, despite the fact that Annalise says she 150% believes Shervin. Oh Annalise, the poor thing is going to stand by her man despite the rumors, but I suppose I can respect the fact that much like that hideous doo-doo colored lip gloss she is wearing, when she commits to something, she really commits.
Everyone sits down to dinner and GG is disappointed to see that Leila hasn’t come but surprise, Leila walks in a few moments later and GG forgets all about her disappointment and looks anything but happy. She morphs into ultra-drama mode, fanning herself and acting like she’s just seen a ghost, a ghost that she invited to the party. Then she decides to take it up a notch and make the most awkward of toasts, thanking Shervin and Annalise, “even though they are going through some sh**” and then thanks Leila for showing up.
Once dinner is over, Leila goes outside to smoke and complain to Shervin and Mike about how fake GG’s speech was. Mike defends GG because he knows she was trying and he knows how these sisters work – Leila has always been jealous of all the attention GG got. As hard as GG is
supposedly trying not to cause drama with Leila, she can’t help herself when she walks by Leila talking smack on her to their dad. A screaming match ensues, with GG throwing profanities like confetti and Leila accusing her of not being truly rehabbed. Finally, GG calms down enough over a smoke break and they go in to play backgammon, with Leila playing Shalom as an olive branch.
Mike looks on, commenting that he’s seen this play out between GG and Leila a thousand times and he hopes that when they are old and tired, they don’t look back with regret for how much time they wasted fighting. Pretty profound, coming from Mike, and after this episode, I’m feeling old and tired myself. Maybe next week, the Shahs will have a little more to be thankful for.
TELL US – WILL GG AND LEILA MAKE AMENDS? IS ANNALISE FOOLISH FOR BELIEVING SHERVIN?
Photo Credit: Bravo TV