It seems like Joe Giudice should just resign himself to spending a looooong, looooong time behind bars! Besides awaiting sentencing for his federal fraud case, Joe still has not settled his case in New Jersey for identity fraud! Aaaaahhh…. the felonious Fraudices.
NorthJersey.com reports that Joe spent his day in his home away from home on Monday – a NJ courtroom – for a "status hearing" as he and lawyers attempted to iron out a last-minute plea bargain. Joe has a pre-trial date set for July 14.
"Yuck" is the word that comes to mind when I think of Aviva Drescher's octogenarian perverted father George. I'm sure I am not alone in this feeling. Which is why I'm also sure that I was also not alone in my shock upon discovering George's much-younger girlfriend Cody, who also accepted his proposal last week on Real Housewives of New York.
I could only assume this was a storyline, but in a new blogAviva insists that her father's relationship with Cody is absolutely real and they are in fact planning a wedding. Does Cody perhaps need a lobotomy?
"I am so thrilled for my father and Cody because they are happy. Cody is lovely, smart, and mature. My kids love her and as I write this, my father and Cody are returning from Europe. They are both consenting adults and love is love," Aviva writes in defense of George's choices.
Like her or love her, no one can deny that Teresa Giudice has had one helluva an interesting life! Between her felonious husband, to her feuding family, to her experiences on Real Housewives of New Jersey, to raising Milania! to her own experiences as a soon-to-be-con, she's lived through it.
Sources say Teresa, a savvy business woman despite her pre-school vocabulary, is "working furiously" to write a shocking tell-all about her scandalous life! “She’s been approached and offered big money for her tell-all," a source reveals to Radar Online. "There are a lot of publishers who want to get her locked down and make sure they have the book in-house.”
Last night was the series premiere of Ladies of London. I'm interested, although I wish there were more Brits than Americans living in London. I deal with enough American famewhores, I want to learn about some international ones!
Right away we meet the doyenne of the franchise Caroline Stanbury. Caroline is authentic British aristocracy and royalty. She owns and runs a luxury concierge service and lives in a massive home down the street from Brangelina. She's fabulously British and serves as the show's narrator of all things Brit and Class. I imagine her holding a clipboard, Burberry cat eyes perched on her nose, as she scores all the infractions of social impropriety. Basically you can tell within 6 seconds of her meeting the American caste of her class that she regrets getting involved in this nonsense and feels it's her duty to separate herself in everyway possible from their gauche behavior.
So yes, Shannon Beador and Heather think their holiday cards are on par with the White House's in terms of preeminent importance. Shannon tells us that people look forward to her card every year and Heather gives a gushing speech about what it represents to her family (Time immemorial? Neil deGrasse Tyson joke!). They both hire full glam crews and professional photography teams to make these visions come to life. I think I saw Anna Wintour scuttling around behind the ladder in Heather's shoot.
It's nice to know that I have some things in common with these two wealthy beacons of the upper echelons – because even though I take my holiday photo with an iPhone, my kids misbehave just as much as Heather and Shannon's do! Anyway, Heather is taking her card in what looks like the parking lot of a storage facility. Maybe since they're between mega mansions she's going for homeless chic?
Last week viewers witnessed Heather Dubrow's version of a hoedown as she had a lot warming party for her new massive abode. During the course of the party America's oldest sorority girl Tamra Barney flew off the mechanical bull after Heather instructed the operator to turn it up.
Last night was our first introduction to the season that Bravo hopes will redeem Real Housewives of New Jersey's viewership. After season 5 suffered from sinking ratings because of stale drama and regurgitated storylines the network has infused new and recycled blood into the franchise and given us orange-er skin, more be-sprayed hair, and a let's be happier facade!
Everyone is treating Teresa Giudice with the nice-ies – maybe it's because they recognize that this may be her last season due to jail time and the throne will be open for a new RHONJ queen! Dina Manzo is back to be Teresa's lady in waiting, but she also has a whole new lease on life because she's single and ready-ish to mingle. Mingle with species other than cats – of both the hairless and ferocious Jersey tigers out for her blood varieties! I missed Dina – I like her dry candor. And her cats.
Last night was the premiere of Kandi's Wedding. Unfortunately what is supposed to be a joyful occasion for the couple has been usurped by drama and negativity! Of course Mama Joyce is doing everything in her power to destroy Kandi Burruss' happiness; from telling Kandi she's fat, to accusing Todd Tucker's parents of being a retired pimp and ho. Seriously Mama Joyce said Todd's mother Sharon was a former "working girl" who had trained Todd to hustle for Kandi's money. And Todd's now deceased father was once her pimp! If I were Sharon I would be getting an attorney on the phone immediately! #LawsuitByBravo
Other than Mama Joyce, Kandi's BFF and bridesmaid Carmon has been shoved into the role of impromptu wedding planner. Kandi tells her team (which includes manager Don Juan) that she wants to plan her entire Coming To America themed wedding in 5 weeks – and to save money (since Kandi is a girl who loves a deal!) she's decided to skip the high-priced wedding planners and rely on her assistant/bridesmaid Carmon and another employee, her event coordinator Johnny who has done a few simple weddings in the past. Oh lord – this spells trouble in both Zamundan and English!