Personally my favorite tagline goes to Phaedra because well, it’s just so ridiculously Phaedra-elitist. I think Kim’s is fun. I’m the least excited by Kandi’s. Cynthia’s as well is pretty lackluster; been there, done that a zillion times over!
There’s been whispers that Maddie’s star is so on the rise that she no longer has the time to travel back and forth between LA and Pittsburgh to film the show, or attend the constant cycle of dance competitions. Instead it’s believed Maddie will be making occasional appearances.
In September, Tammy, an ex-basketball wife herself, was in Miami with the Real Housewives Of Atlanta, where they filmed at a party. Tammy wanted to make a good impression, and thinking it would improve her chances of landing a coveted Housewives spot if she demonstrated her celebrity connects, she invited Glen to attend the party.
Perhaps Bravo isn’t paying their Real Housewives Of Atlanta stars as much as we think, or maybe Kenya is just a savvy businesswoman making a good investment, but she recently purchased a new Atlanta home that’s missing some vital elements: doors, windows…
Last night was the premiere of Vanderpump Rules. I love this show! I love Tom 1 and Tom 2 on their rollerskates, reenacting Boogie Nights Returns: The Wind In My Perm: A Post-Porn Love Story To Decades Of Duos. I love that Scheana Marie Famewhore is now selling Sir Hubs A Lot up ish creek because all the spotlights in all the world need to be focused on her Madonna-adled fantasies (And Scheana ain’t no virgin – just ask Brandi Glanville!) And I love Kristen Doute being the new Stassi Schroeder; stomping around the outskirts of SUR, screaming about how mature she is now that she’s done with this waitressing thingie. T-shirt Lines are the new Statement Necklaces!
So let’s recap this bitch!
First things first, Jax Taylor is a plastic surgery addict, which means he’s gonna end up on Botched trying to undo his Bieber recreation makeover. Jax had had his THIRD nose job – this one to remove minuscule lumps that were a blight to his once perfect profile. He’s also got a nasty 6″ Frankenstein scar running down his forehead. Was he actually undergoing a lobotomy to forget his past as the premiere male supermodel and living incarnate of Zoolander?
To refresh your memory on everything that happened last season, plus give you a taste of what you’re in for, we’re recapping the craziest moments from season 3. In short: There was a whole lotta cheatin’ going on!
While Lauren has resolved to legally (and religiously) yoke herself to one Vicotta, of the saltiest and savoriest salamis, Albie Manzo remains adrift in the wind, spraying his pot fertilizer up at the sun and watching it disappear. Albie went from being the prodigal son, to being mommy’s biggest flop – even Lauren mocks him for failing out of law school. It was all that pot prosciutto!
The Real Housewives Of Orange County reunion has left a bad taste in my mouth. Right after I wrote this I ate like 16 pieces of Halloween candy. It’s my version of cleansing.
The highlight from Part 3, if you could call it that, was Vicki Gunvalson finally admitting she doesn’t believe Brooks Ayers has cancer. She “covered” for him all season because she did believe him until very recently. The other highlight was that no one screamed in decibels so shrill Andy’s dog howled backstage. Briana describes Vicki’s uncannily calm demeanor as being “in a state of shock” over how much of her life Vicki has messed up over Brooks. Or the five half a Xanax she took.
The low points: Everything else. Including Meghan King Edmonds‘ hair – why must it look like a Kim Z Generation 1 wig? The more I look at it, the more I see bad imitation senator’s wife.