Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was a pleasant reminder of what this show used to be. You know, when people got along, had fun, and didn’t take every side-eye so seriously they were declaring it a nuclear state of emergency. I mean there was a time when the ladies of RHONJ didn’t spend countless episodes dissecting and cataloging every tabloid edition published in the last year to decipher just how much one said RHONJ hates another said RHONJ.
Oh, yes… that show once existed and I think last night proved it could exist again. Here is my two step plan to eradicating the petty, hateful, and mundane drama on this show: 1) take everyone out of Jersey and give them more to worry about than spray tanning and meatballs 2) Pay them only $1 per season until they agree to get along, act civilized, and go hang out at Chateau kvetching about Danielle Staub. See – not so hard, right?
So the whole gang embarked on a cross-country trek to Napa where the Blk.-meisters were to meet with Vivendi winery for a distribution deal. As Hurricane Irene is raging on the horizon, the packing commences. Everyone feigns concern about leaving their small children at home while they cavort around in the great wild west. Except for Caroline Manzo – she’s bringing her small children with her.
On a recent edition of Good Afternoon America (Jill‘s new job) she revealed that Bravo producers are considering signing Priscilla DiStasio – Teresa‘s make-up artist and good fan friend – onto the show.
“I did run into her makeup artist in the Hamptons a few weeks ago and she told me, her makeup artist, that they want her to be on next season so that, to even it up, because it’s Teresa against everyone else and Teresa needs a friend,” Jill dished.
Danielle Staub has always been delusional and this latest publicity attempt proves it tenfold. Watch out citizens of New Jersey, because the former Real Housewives of New Jersey star has decided to abandon reality TV for another job that requires backstabbing, drama, whining, fighting, and cameras – politics!
Reality TV stars work overtime self promoting and keeping their reality well, very in the public. In today’s installment of S#*! Reality Stars Say, we bring you the Caroline Manzo edition.
The feisty Real Housewife of New Jersey star is apparently tired of getting slammed in the social media circuit (perhaps she should be nicer then?) and recently posted this little threat (kinda) on Twitter to warn the haters to quench their thirst with blk. and back. off. Otherwise the bulldog just might come out to attack!
All the talk of Teresa Giudice getting a spinoff seems to be unnecessary as the entire plot of Real Housewives of New Jersey revolves around her. For once I don’t believe Teresa is delusional – I mean, everybody is always talking about her, amirite?
Teresa‘s latest Bravo blog addresses former friend turned stalker/nemesis Caroline Manzo‘s crazy comments about Teresa’s marriage and the passive aggressive comments she believes Kathy Wakile made about her cookbook. Hang on, you’re in for a loooong RHONJ post!
“You’d think by now I’d be used to everyone on the show talking about me non-stop every single episode, but I’ll admit I was shocked by Caroline’s comment about my marriage,” Teresa begins.
“Not because I don’t expect her to say nasty things about me and to constantly judge of me — that’s what she does. To quote Audriana‘s favorite movie right now, The Little Mermaid: ‘It’s what she lives for.’ (Caroline does remind me of Ursula, come to think of it…) What shocked me is her hypocrisy.”
On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey (brought to us by the Bravo Home Shopping Network) the ladies brought home the bacon while the menfolk sat around the kitchen table gossiping and snarking like old biddies. I applaud the progressive feminist nature of these industrious girls. Except for the one whose husband said he owned her. Yeah, that one needs to take a women’s studies class, stat!
So things begin with Teresa Giudice – or is Joodichee? Our favorite Jersian wordsmith has apparently, once again, forgotten how to pronounce her ever-shifting last name. Teresa’s newest venture is branding herself – I think she should start with having a consistent pronunciation of her own name, but that’s just my suggestion. “Branding” means adding Fabellini to her ever-expanding product repertoire. I swear Teresa makes up these words, Fabulicious, Fabellini, etc because she can’t actually pronounce any real words!
Teresa is in the car with Joe Goodouchée and they are headed to a vineyard, she thinks. Despite the fact that she is now in the wine making business, madame Giuhoochie has no idea where wine comes from or where one goes to taste wine.
Teresa Giudice has done insulted reality show royalty. The woman who just can’t seem to to be on good terms with anyone recently slammed Bethenny Frankel‘s infamous Skinnygirl cocktails!
On tonight’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teresa compares her Fabellini to Bethenny‘s Skinnygirl empire. “My thing is I don’t like anything that tastes diet-y,” she explains. “For instance, Skinnygirl tastes diet-y. I don’t like that.”
Teresa seconded the claim on her Fabulicious website, writing: “I’m so so so proud of it. And it tastes delicious!!! And Fabellini is low calorie–less than 1/2 the calories of other ‘skinny’ drinks.”