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Real Housewives of Orange County

On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County I finally was able to see discernible evidence that Briana Wolfsmith is indeed Vicki Gunvalson‘s daughter. Last night, there were boobs and people acting like boobs, there was wine and people whining, and there was cheese and Brooks Ayers and well…it doesn’t get anymore cheesy than him! I don’t even know what to say about that one – except he isn’t dabombdotcom!

Things began with Vicki and Tamra Barney shopping for new bras. Tamra is excited to get sized for her new titties and is completely disheartened to learn she’s still a D. Apparently European sizes are failing her. whaaa-whaaa. Even more upsetting, Vicki is a DOUBLE F. Yes, FF! For Freaking Frazy!

Vicki and Tamra are in a tizzy until they see how sensational their boobies look in the new bras. Vicki scoffs that she hates really huge boobs, which is why she chastised Tamra for getting a reduction?

Tamra races over to the bridal lingerie section and practically bellows, ‘LOOK VICKI – FOR BRIANA!’ while Vicki is like, ‘shhhhh shhhhhhhhh – I don’t want anyone to know! I’m so embarrassed!’ Tamra reveals Vicki has told her about Briana’s elopement and she understands why Vicki is upset. Then Vicki starts freaking out about how HER life is ruined because SHE doesn’t get to throw a wedding or a shower or buy a dress. And the wedding is about HER! Tamra worries Briana may have made a mistake.

Vicki intones that if she doesn’t support Briana, she will lose her so she has to pretend she is OK with these surprise nuptials. Even though she wants to strangle Ryan – but only once she convinces him to get an insurance policy in Briana’s name. Ok, I made that last part up. Vicki would never strangle anyone. Coto Insurance providing your family and loved ones with IRAs and all your insurance needs!

I can understand Vicki‘s point; a wedding, whether anyone wants to admit it or not, is more than just the bride and every mother does want to plan a dream day for her daughter. Perhaps Vicki is shell-shocked, but I do think she’s over-reacting just a tad. Especially since Briana told her she did in fact want a wedding. Vicki needs to pay a visit to her shrink, get a Xanax Rx and go sit by the pool for a while downing some WinesbyWives approved libations. Then when she’s ready to act normal-ish she can return to society and be supportive.

Moving on, Slave Smiley is strapping on some spandex – hot (not!) – and going for a bike ride with Gretchen Rossi‘s dad. One needs a full-on racing ensemble to cruise around the local park? Good to know… Slave has something very, very important to ask Papa Rossi.

Gretchen is also preparing – she’s been doing so since 8am when she woke up and it’s now lunchtime. She’s getting ready for lunch with Tamra. Good lord – how long do you think Gretchen spends applying make-up and styling her hair each day? It must be in the double digit hours. It takes a lot of time to look that cheap! Gretchen has something to talk to her new bestest friend and closest confidante about.

And she hopes Tamra and Slavey will become close as well. When hell freezes over, friend, when hell freezes over. And ironically that’s about when Gretchen is going to shimmy into a big white dress and waltz down the aisle to bid her ‘I Dos!’ to Slave!

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On last week’s Real Housewives of Orange County mother of the year Vicki Gunvalson was ambushed on camera by daughter Briana Wolfsmith, who told Vick she had eloped in Vegas! Clearly Vicki has since recovered from the news as she is now throwing Briana and husband Ryan Culberson a beautiful wedding – and Briana is pregnant. Unfortunately Vicki’s reaction at the time was anything but overjoyed as she called the elopement disgusting, among other things.

Taking to her Bravo blog, Vicki discusses how she felt in that moment and why her response to the news was so negative. “I had a feeling when we sat down, that something was up. When she told me she and Ryan had got MARRIED in Vegas I felt like I was in a dream. . .or more like a nightmare,” Vicki shares.

“I had only met Ryan one time before and that was before he went on duty. All the while he was on this tour I didn’t even know that they were serious or even for that matter ‘in love.’ She told me she was nervous about putting both feet into their relationship because she didn’t want to be crushed if anything happened to him while he was away.”

Vicki was so devastated by the news her reaction was uncontrollable. “I left the restaurant after the ‘bomb’ was dropped on me, went to my car, and broke down in uncontrollable tears,” she confesses. “The tears lasted for more than a week. It was all the time because I was so confused and sad.”

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RadarOnline is reporting that Vicki Gunvalson‘s daughter Briana Culberson and her husband Ryan Culberson are expecting! The Real Housewives of Orange County star’s daughter is about 17 weeks along.

CLICK HERE TO SEE RYAN & BRIANA’S WEDDING PHOTO!

Vicki was reportedly surprised at the news, but no doubt thrilled! Briana and Ryan will be celebrating their wedding later this month. The couple eloped in Las Vegas last October. Upon learning the news that they married in a walk up chapel in last week’s episode Vicki was “shocked” and “disgusted.” Hopefully she’s reacted better to the news that she will become a grandmother!

Congratulations Briana and Ryan! We wish you well!

THOUGHTS ON THE NEWS? DO YOU THINK VICKI WAS EXCITED?

On Tuesday night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County viewers were treated to Vicki Gunvalson‘s reaction as she learned daughter Briana Wolfsmith had eloped in Vegas! Briana told VIcki that she and now husband Ryan Culberson visited a drive-thru chapel and exchanged vows because they were certain it was the right thing to do.

Although they originally married on October 23, 2011, the couple is planning to exchange vows again later this month in an intimate Santa Barbara ceremony – and I’m sure the photos will be exquisite! However, Reality Tea has acquired Briana and Ryan’s actual Las Vegas wedding photo!

The couple initially said “I do!” at the Vegas Weddings Walk Up Window. So it wasn’t a drive-thru but a walk-up chapel! Vegas Weddings offers a wide-variety of wedding packages at their lavish chapel but opting for something low-key, Briana and Ryan chose the walk up window.

According to a witness, the couple “didn’t want anything fancy, just to have a very simple ceremony.” And upon receiving their marriage license they walked across the street and tied the knot! A photo of Ryan and Briana after getting married at Vegas Wedding’s Walk Up Chapel is below!

THOUGHTS ON BRIANA’S ORIGINAL WEDDING PHOTO?

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR A PHOTO FROM BRIANA’S LAS VEGAS WEDDING!

On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County there were bombs over Coto. Gretchen Rossi took the stage – or rather was hoisted up there – and bombed. And Vicki Gunvalson received a news bomb that rendered her speechless for the very first time in television history. Really, has anyone ever seen Vicki speechless? Cause I haven’t. The theme of this episode might as well of been ‘Surprise! By Vicki Gunvalson’ because she had all sorts of emotions we’ve never seen before…

Well, it finally happened. Gretchen put on her sequined leotard, hopped on stage, and belted her little song out. She did it in the same manner as a drunk sorority girl at a karaoke bar – she just screamed it into the mic and didn’t even bother with that whole being in tune thing. Right after Alexis Bellino prayed to our Lord Jesus to give Gretchen a voice and a miracle, the World Renowned Dance Troupe known as The Pussycat Dolls took the stage to shove their twats in people’s faces. They’re right up there with the NY Ballet, didn’t you know.

Tamra Barney, whose front row seat gave her quite the eye-full, can now deliver a baby, perform a pap smear, and administer a Brazilian wax all after a five minute performance. The funniest thing about the show was Vicki and Alexis being completely in denial about their significant other’s enjoyment of the PCD gyrations and thrusts. Vicki claimed good ol’ boys from the south have never seen such things. Oh yeah… huh.

Apparently Jim Bellino was just having an awful time! Just the worst. I mean he’d rather be at the church sewing circle. I mean ugh, there were drinks and pussy cat dolls and scantily clad pussies, oh my! I mean, no straight red-blooded man would be interested in that sort of thing. He’d much prefer to be home on the sofa watching HGTV, snuggled up next to Alexis, wearing her breathe-right strip. He was only there as a supportive partner. Uh huh. We all know Jim is not about sin city. I mean he hates vanity, gluttony, greed, sloth, and pride!

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A few months ago we were all shocked to learn that not only was Vicki Gunvalson‘s totally down to earth (and surprisingly sane) daughter Briana Wolfsmith engaged, but that she had eloped in Vegas! Tonight Vicki will learn of Briana’s impromptu marriage to Ryan Culberson. For those of you (like myself) wondering if Briana eloped to avoid having her mama micromanage every detail of her wedding; apparently that wasn’t the reason!

Ryan and Briana will be renewing their vows in a lavish wedding ceremony this month – and guess who was on hand to obsess about every detail? Vicki, of course! Star Magazine spoke to Briana about the ceremony and how everything is going now that she’s a Mrs.

Briana and Ryan will be exchanging vows in Santa Barbara on a cliff overlooking the ocean in an late afternoon ceremony, followed by sunset cocktails and an evening reception. “We’re having a live band to kick off the evening’s festivities,” Briana adds.

It took Vicki and Briana six months to plan the ceremony, which Briana describes as intimate. “It’s kind of small. We’re only inviting 75 to 100 people… mostly family and very close friends.” I guess that means Bravo did not receive an invite. I hope! “The only issue I have is that we are over budget,” Vicki reveals. “We are at about $47,000, but who’s counting?”

“We spent a little bit more on food and the venue, which we think is so important. We spent money where it counts.” Well $47,000 is nothing compared to Pandora Todd and Kim Zolciak‘s seven-figure affairs!

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Well, well… the blondes of Real Housewives of Orange County are separating faster than tanning oil and water—and the blow-ups are about to get bigger than Alexis Bellino‘s twins. The pair always exploding out of her blouses!

Last week the writing was on the wall (can these ladies read?) for Alexis and former BFFL Gretchen Rossi when Gretch not only insulted one of Lex’s part-time careers—the newscastering one—but she claimed Alexis was the producers second choice. And who was the first choice? None other than Gretchen, herself! Some girls have all the luck – she’s part of a world renowned dance troupe, she’s dating Slave Slimey, and Fox5 thinks she’s news worthy! #jealous

Upon learning that she was Gretch’s sloppy seconds, Alexis was hurt, and offended. Hey, who wouldn’t be? I mean they are supposed to be friends, right? So Lex decided to do what all good newscasters do—a little investigative journalism! “The minute Gretchen left my home I called my Fox Five producer to confirm if this was true, and she said it was absolutely not true,” Alexis reports in her Bravo Blog. “They were only asking Gretchen to do one segment as a co-host with me, and had no plans ever of giving Gretchen her own correspondent position.”

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County it was all about Gretchen Christine. She’s got a zillion careers. One of them, is unfortunately singing, which she can’t actually do, and another one is dating Slade Smiley, which is really just an unnecessary side-job she should quit.

Well, Gretchen Christine is quite the fair-weather friend isn’t she? So, she arrives at Alexis Bellino‘s latest rent-a-mcmansion and plops her Gretchen Christine handbag on the counter and starts doing the QVC descriptor hands over the intricately designed leatherette flower, while Lex oooohhhs and aaaahhhs. This is taking the Bravo Home Shopping Network a touch too far. Quick question: Anybody out there sporting one of those jalopies? Yeah, didn’t think so!

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