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It’s Friday and time for a whole mess of news about your favorite celebutante, Kim Kardashian. We’ll start with the most exciting news, and that’s the news that Kim and her soon to be ex Kris Humphries will soon be deposed as part of their divorce proceedings. And you know what that means — all kinds of Kardashian dirt is about to emerge!

HuffPo reports that it’s still up in the air whether or not we’ll be treated to a Kim video deposition, which naturally the very shy reality queen does not want to participate in. Kris’s lawyers want her to go first. The pair’s next court date is set for August 15, with their interviews tentatively scheduled for early June. Somehow I have a feeling someone, somehow will get a copy of these depositions. And I can’t wait! Kris’s lawyers are eager to get started and make the decision about whether to pursue a fraud case. Radar has a great quote:

Kris wants a divorce trial so that the truth can finally come out. Amongst other matters, he wants to know about the Ferrari that the couple got from a very wealthy Malaysian businessman that attended the wedding. Kris was at Kim’s house when the car was delivered — it was given to both of them, but Kim has kept sole ownership and has used it extensively. She will be asked about it, under oath, on the stand at the trial.”

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Is Andy Cohen tired of his role as ring master of the circus? Is he over refereeing constant fights and drama amongst the ladies of Bravo?

Sources say Andy is tired of dealing with the Real Housewives of everywhere and no doubt our delightful ladies of New Jersey are what put him over the edge! According to the NY Daily News, Andy is over being judged by the company he keeps and he feels his association with the non-stop drama of the series that put his name on the map is ruining his credibility.

Apparently, this is not the show Andy started out developing and the antics have gotten too much for the budding talk show host who wishes to pursue his own face in the spotlight instead of promoting the trashy behavior of the ladies he made famous!

A source close to the Housewives franchise claims Andy “has been trying to distance himself from ‘Housewives’ because he wants to be taken seriously as a talk-show host” and because the low-class behavior of the ladies doesn’t fit in with his new A-List aspirations! “He wants to have his fancy celebrity friends, and the girls don’t fit.”

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Because reality stars (past and present) thrive on attention of any kind, they’re always in the press. Good or bad! Here’s a round-up of what’s been happening as of late.

The former Real Housewives of DC stars have had an eventful week. Perhaps they’re coordinating press releases for maximum exposure!

Up first, Mary Amons filed for divorce from husband Rich Amons. She announced her split from her husband of 26 years on Facebook! “It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I have decided to end my twenty-six year marriage. While I have the deepest respect for my husband and wish him the very best, we have grown apart,” Mary wrote.

She then added that she wants privacy during this difficult time – which is why she publicized it on Facebook, right? What this means is that every single member of the former RHODC cast is now a single lady. Perhaps Bravo can do a former Real Housewives dating show?

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Oh Jimmy Kimmel, you just inched up a few slots on my cool people list.

Last night at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, the comedian made Kim Kardashian the butt of several jokes. She and pimpmomager Kris Jenner saved face by laughing when the cameras panned their way, but I’m sure they were genuinely delighted to be the center of attention.

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It might be time to upgrade your DVR to a higher capacity one. I don’t know about you, but mine screams “GET A LIFE” every single time I add a new show to my lineup.

To add fuel to our reality TV addictions, Bravo dropped six more “unscripted” show bombs on us yesterday.  This is on top of the new show/returning show list they announced earlier this month!

“The Gold Coast” (working title)

This lively, over-the-top group of twenty-something girlfriends exemplify the “Boomerang Generation” as they move back home after graduating from college to live with their parents on the Gold Coast of Long Island.

“Heirs Of Palm Beach” (working title)

Palm Beach is home to the privileged offspring that make up the center of this elite social scene where membership has its privileges and pitfalls.

“Shop With Stella” (working title)

Three best friends and roommates find out if they are way over their heads or on the verge of a very profitable future as they try to launch a killer start-up idea for a fashion website that could revolutionize the way women shop.

“Splitsville” (working title)

These high-powered divorce lawyers battle each other with millions of dollars at stake, all while trying to avoid the same personal perils that trap their wealthy clients.

“Tone It Up” (working title)

Two infectious best friends and roommates become the unlikely “it girls” of the fitness industry after launching their popular Tone It Up website.

“Untitled Male Model Project” (working title)

Some of the most successful men in the world of male modeling try to make the most of this extremely high paying profession with a very short shelf life.

A few of these sound like they might have potential. I’m throwing my name in the hat to be a judge on the Untitled Male Model Project.  I’m a team player like that.  You know I’d bring you the inside scoop.

P.S. Could the networks PLEASE stop scheduling every single reality show on SUNDAY night.  Some of us still have stone age DVRs that only record two shows at once.

TELL US – DO ANY OF THESE SHOWS SOUND WATCHABLE? I WANT TO KNOW HOW MANY SHOWS YOUR DVR RECORDS AT ONCE! HOW MANY REALITY SHOWS ARE IN YOUR LINEUP EACH WEEK?

I hope you heard me choking with sarcasm as I typed the words “classy”, “Heidi Montag” and “album” together in one post title.

She’s baaack. Heidi Montag cashed in her change jar or traded some crystals to pay for time in the studio and released her second album last week. She “graces” the cover of Dreams Come True with all of her plastic parts hanging out in a slinky pink…um..dress? swimsuit? nighty? I’m not really sure what it’s supposed to be.

Heidi’s new album dropped last week.  No word on whether or not she sold more than 1,000 copies this time around.

In other Speidi news, Spencer Pratt is STILL buying his special crystals.  He shared along with the photo below on Twitter:

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As par for the course, the children of the Real Housewives of any location are always dragged into the mess that is the show – and sometimes being on TV isn’t so fantastic. Glamour Magazine recently interviewed the adult daughters of some of our favorite (and least favorite) Bravo moms. The girls were candid about their experiences on the show and how it has affected their lives.

Lauren Manzo, Pandora Sabo (née Todd), Briana Culberson (née Wolfsmith), Tierra Fuller, and Victoria de Lesseps spoke out about what it’s like to be on reality television and how they’ve handled their moms’ dramatic experiences on the shows.

Interestingly, some of the girls would love to do reality TV in their own right, while others have absolutely no desire. “I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t get caught up in being on TV for a little bit,” Lauren admits. “I said to my boyfriend, Vito, a while ago, ‘I found a ring that I want. Go buy it, and we’ll get married on TV.’ And then I said to myself, That’s not what I want right now. It doesn’t make sense to get married. I need to become a woman on my own. And I don’t think I could do that right now with a ring on my finger.”

Pandora, who did get married on TV, and whose wedding was featured in last season’s finale of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, confesses she had to seriously consider letting such a personal moment be played out in public. “I’m a more private person than my mother is. So when Jason proposed, we had to think about how we were going to do this wedding,” Pandora shares.

“My mother’s [Lisa Vanderpump] life is on television, but mine really isn’t. I didn’t mind that the planning was on TV, because, to be honest, it’s quite nice to have a record of all that. Who else gets to relive picking out their invitations or their bachelorette party?”

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Andy Cohen

Ok, Bravoians – get ready for the new line-up! Bravo has officially released the list of upcoming shows and it includes eleven all-new reality shows and eight returning gems!  Among the most exciting news is that Real Housewife of Beverly Hills star Lisa Vanderpump has scored her own show about celebrity hotspot SUR and Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kandi Burrussspin-off The Kandi Factory has also been added to the permanent roster!

Here’s the list of what’s to come!

“Silicon Valley” Bravo captures the intertwining lives of young professionals on the path to becoming Silicon Valley’s next great success stories.

“Life After Top Chef” For the first time cameras are taken outside of the “Top Chef” kitchen and into the lives of Bravo’s most beloved former cheftestants as they reach milestones in their personal lives and culinary careers. From opening their own restaurants to expanding their growing franchises, viewers will follow Jen Carroll in Philadelphia, Richard Blais in Atlanta, Fabio Viviani in Los Angeles and Spike Mendelsohn in DC.

“Below Deck” The upstairs and downstairs worlds collide when this young and single crew of “yachties” live, love and work together onboard a luxurious mega yacht while tending to the ever-changing needs of their wealthy, demanding charter guests.

“Huh?” Ever wonder who is behind those hilarious cat memes? Bravo goes inside the office of Ben Huh and his eclectic staff at icanhascheezburger.com, one of the largest humor publishers on the Internet known for their popular LOLs and FAILs.

“Miss Advised” These single relationship experts can’t seem to practice what they preach as Amy Laurent in New York, Emily Morse in San Francisco and Julia Allison in Los Angeles struggle to stay afloat in the deep end of the dating pool.

“Newlyweds: The First Year”From the moment they say “I do” to their one-year anniversary, cameras capture diverse couples across the coasts experiencing the trials and tribulations of their first year of marriage.

“Gallery Girls” Viewers are introduced to seven young women who dream of living a chic and fashionable existence in New York City. All share a passion for art, but are divided amongst their Manhattan and Brooklyn lifestyles with vastly different attitudes and tastes towards fashion, art and men.

“LA Shrinks” It takes one to treat one! The professional and personal lives of dynamic experts are exposed as they counsel a wide array of clients at some of the top private practices in Los Angeles.

“Decades” Renowned boutique owners, Christos Garkinos and Cameron Silver, show off their exclusive and glamorous world of vintage couture filled with Givenchy, Balenciaga and Chanel.

The official preview trailer for all the new reality gems is below!

And now for the list of returning shows. I was surprised to see Chef Roblé & Co and Pregnant in Heels (although I kinda liked that show) coming back. Also returning is Flipping Out, Tabatha Takes Over, Top Chef (including Last Chance Kitchen), Top Chef Masters  Million Dollar Listing, Million Dollar Decorators, and Inside The Actors Studio – which will feature the cast of Mad Men.

I was very surprised not to see the Rachel Zoe Project on the list!

And branching out, Bravo also announced the arrival of two scripted shows! “22 Birthdays” focuses on the sordid and scandalous activities of a group of parents at an exclusive private school, with each episode centered around an extravagant and lavish birthday party. And “Blowing Sunshine” is set at a fictional private rehabilitation center and follows its staff and high profile patients.

Moving on, last night Andy Cohen hosted the Watch What Happens Live All-Star Party. Among the proceedings was the official unveiling of the three new Real Housewives of New York; which was pretty much reality television’s worst kept secret. Well, it’s official Carole Radziwill, Aviva Drescher, and Heather Thomson will be embarrassing themselves on our TVs very soon!

A preview of the upcoming explosive season was revealed and it appears that the rumors of Pinot Singer not getting along with any of her fellow Housewives are confirmed! She goes to battle with everyone and may soon find herself on the Jill Zarin side of things if she keeps this up! The new ladies were shown banding together in an act of solidarity against “mean girl” behavior.

Among last night’s surprising events was the conspicuous absence of Teresa Giudice! The entire Real Housewives of New Jersey cast was spotted together on the red carpet and participated in the Housewives East vs. West Battle Royale, but there was no Teresa in sight! It is well established that Teresa is not speaking to any of her castmates and rumors have been swirling that she’s headed for a spin-off following the explosive fourth season, airing later this month!

Also interesting was that Lisa did not sit with her fellow RHOBH castmates and instead took the stage solo for a sit-down with Andy. She also skipped the Housewives battle. Perhaps confirming the casting gossip that Taylor Armstrong and Kim Richards are returning next season was their attendance. Oddly, Brandi Glanville was not in the audience!

Finally, the most troubling events of last night were the musical performances of Melissa Gorga and LuAnn de Lesseps. Now I love you both, but please believe – you cannot sing! Step away from the microphones…

THOUGHTS ON THE NEW SHOWS – WHAT WILL YOU BE WATCHING? ARE YOU EXCITED FOR KANDI AND LISA’S SPIN-OFFS? DID YOU WATCH THE ALL-STAR PARTY LAST NIGHT?

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR THE NEW SHOW PREVIEW TRAILER!

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