To tell or not to tell? To reveal a deeply humiliating personal secret on Real Housewives Of New York or to be forced into having a deeply humiliating personal secret revealed about yourself? These are the quandaries a lady of Bravo faces as Luann de Lesseps was made to reconcile with both the ghosts of her past and the ghost of her future thanks to a so-called benevolent Bethenny Frankel.
Bethenny is beside herself that Luann has the audacity to be so outrageously happy over a man she’s known for two minutes. Which is sort of hilarious considering that Bethenny got knocked up approximately 5 days after meeting Jason Hoppy then shoved him down the aisle 5 months later!
Last night’s episode of Little Women: Atlanta was just chock-full of awkward conversations and accusations.
We pick right back up with Monie Cashette throwing a romantic breakfast in bed all over poor fiancé, Morlin. Why is Morlin wearing scrambled eggs and orange juice, you ask? Because Monie is mad that he took her ex-best friend, Minnie Ross, to pick out her engagement ring. In Monie’s mind, he’s forcing her relationship with Minnie and she says it’s about respect. Clearly, Monie thinks respect in a relationship is a one way street, otherwise she probably wouldn’t have thrown food on the poor boy. Morlin is surprisingly calm about the whole thing and actually apologized TO her so they can resolve their argument and move on.
Last night, Tonya Banks continued to feel the wrath of boyfriend Kerwin and Terra Jole, who have both apparently decided it’s time to torture Lil’ Boss! But guess who inserts herself into the drama, per usual? It’s everyone’s favorite TMZ source, Christy McGinity Gibel! Oh, Little Women: LA, we cannot fault you for a lack of messiness. We can only sit and observe. And snark.
We pick up right where we left off last week at Tonya’s house, where Kerwin is losing his F-in mind over Tonya not picking up all of her belongings from Jaa’s. Kerwin is obsessed with these crates of garbage merchandise that Tonya and Jaa share as business partners, suspecting that Tonya wants to be another kind of partner to Jaa again. Tonya tries to reason with him, but Kerwin is high on paint fumes or something, because he is nearly ready to break up over this.
Well hot damn was that an exciting episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County! Satan is confusing, and so too is Kelly Dodd. My head is still spinning from all the crazy, but I think it may be one of my favorite episodes ever. SO much happened that it was like watching Real Housewives as guest-directed by Quentin Tarantino.
One thing we have definitely learned in our many years observing Housewives in their native environments is that slightly unhinged women do not mix with tables and prostitution whores. Also “mother” and “not a prostitute” are mutually exclusive. No, Kelly didn’t flip a table, but she did flip an entire coven of Housewives and Housewives associates on their heads with expletive-laden, name calling the likes of which Heather Dubrow(who was ironically wearing leopard in a subtle homage to Real Housewives Of New Jersey, I imagine (intentional or ironic!?)) has never heard!
On last night’s Real Housewives Of New Jersey we officially bid “Arrivederci” to Bravo’s bankrupt and brokedown version of Lucy and Ethel, because Teresa Giudice finally told Jacqueline Laurita to take her prosciutto and shove it! She has her own Thankyouverymuch. Or maybe it was the other way around? Oh, and Juicy will be rolley-bagging his homemade wine all the way home!
Things started off on the right foot, at least, with nobody having envy over anybody else. Well, maybe Melissa Gorga envies Poison, ’cause now that she’s a business owner/mom she has to do double the work while STILL listening to him complain. At least the Gorgadices are stepping in the right direction, though! Melissa even invites Teresa and Milania to watch her three kids walk in New York Fashion Week.
There’s plenty going on this season of Little Women: Atlanta and we are only five episodes in. Now that the girls are back from Black Bike Week in Myrtle Beach, it is time to get down to business in the ATL. We’ve got babies to keep cooking, restraining orders to be filing, and engagement rings to be given.
The only gal still missing from action is Emily Fernandez, who is still in Dallas with baby JJ. Bestie Bri Barlup has been in touch and JJ seems to be getting stronger each day, but I think Emily will be understandably absent the whole season. Filling in is Bri’s new friend, Melissa, who already started off rocky with the ladies in Myrtle Beach and oh, in case you didn’t hear, she’s a model.
Close your eyes with me for a moment and imagine this: A Little Women: LA episode not prominently featuring the abysmal hellfire of Briana Renee and her dirtball husband, Matt Ericson (Grundhoffer). Like, at all. Now open your eyes! Because our prayers have been answered – at least for this week.
Yes, my friends, we have been spared one full hour of nonstop Briana drama to focus on, well, totally unrelated drama between Terra Jole and Tonya Banks. So, okay, it is not a perfect world. It is kind of like we’ve been pulled up from the 7th circle of Dante’s Inferno to…I don’t know, the 5th circle? But I’ll take it!
Jeff Lewis is in over his head with his house, his clients, and his march toward fatherhood (which is approaching quickly). Meanwhile, Jenni Pulos is busy trying to make a buck by sitting on toilets. That, my friends, is the nutshell version of this week’s Flipping Out. But it takes a while to get there…so, let’s get started!
At Valley Vista, Jeff and Gage Edwards are led through the money pit they’ve regretfully purchased. Frank the contractor briefs them on structural, electrical, and – worst of all – water issues as the cha-ching, cha-ching sound rings endlessly in Jeff’s brain. This place is more than he bargained for and could possibly be, in his own words, the worst house he’s ever bought. Gage agrees.