Recaps

Nicole-Azan-Talking-Head-90-Day-Fiance

90 Day Fiance might not promise true love to all of its terribly dysfunctional couples, but it sure does promise to make the rest of us feel pretty good about our lives! On last night’s episode, Anfisa tells Jorge straight up (again) that she’s here for his money, not him. Somehow, this news is shocking to Jorge. Yet not shocking to every other earthling who’s seen even ONE episode of this season.

Chantel begs forgiveness after lying to her family about Pedro for two and half months, and Nicole starts to question Azan’s “love” for her after they have yet another argument. Also, Azan needs to up his meds if he’s gonna last another week with Nicole. Especially when she tries to explain feminism to him. Yes, friends: Nicole is abroad trying to explain women’s rights to the general populace! Meanwhile, Azan is still trying to explain how being healthy and fit is a good thing, not an infringement on Nicole’s right to bare arms.

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Little Women: LA recap

On last night’s Little Women: LA, Christy McGinity Gibel rolled the dice… and lost again. In an effort to extend a virtually rotten olive branch, Christy invited the ladies to a Casino Night. She also suspiciously invited surprise guests to the event, including Little Women: NY henchman defender, Dawn Lang. But her passive-aggressive (emphasis on the aggressive) tactics, which included revealing her head injury medical records within the invitation, didn’t do much to win friends and influence enemies. Christy was, as ever, her very own worst enemy.

Meanwhile, Terra Jole and Joe Gnoffo are still on the baby name hamster wheel. She firmly wants D’Artanyan, although they’ve already agreed on Grayson. Joe concedes that – FINE! – they can add D’Artanyan to Grayson’s middle name. Terra stops whining, and concludes that she’ll be calling this kid D’Artanyan whenever she feels like it. Hmmmmph!

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Little Women: Atlanta Reunion Recap

Reality TV reunions are by nature, just for the sake of rehashing the same drama we watched all season and in some cases, get some new insight into why some things went down the way they did during the show’s season. Oh and to see who stayed friends and who hates each other now.

Little Women: Atlanta is no different. While we did not really get to the bottom of anything, we sure know who hates each other again. We also got treated to a barrage of interesting insults such as “you belong on the animal channel” and “two ash trays for ankles.” At least those are some new ones.

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Survivor recap

After last week’s fantastic, best episode of the season, things definitely calmed down a bit this week on Survivor. That’s not to say it wasn’t a great episode (OK, great may be a stretch, but it was a solid episode nonetheless). But with Jeff Probst announcing #dropyourbuffs tonight, much of the episode felt slow, as it took a lot of time familiarizing us with the new tribes that were formed. It ended with another interesting Tribal Council and the episode overall set the stage for what will be coming in the following weeks.

I’m about to break-down tonight’s Episode 5, so here’s your last chance to turn back, as spoilers are a-coming. You’ve been warned.

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Dance Moms recap

I’m not going to bend your ears anymore complaining about why in the name of all that is decent Lifetime has decided that ninety minutes is the new norm when it comes to this season’s Dance Moms episodes. I guess the network just doesn’t have any reality stars that are as riveting as Abby Lee Miller and her band of dancers. I should be used to it by now, and it will be a special treat if I ever check the Lifetime schedule and see a show only spanning an hour. Silver linings! Of course, the veteran moms are still feuding with the mini mothers.

The episode begins with a heart wrenching announcement from Kira. A friend of Kalani Hilliker’s from the Arizona dance community has committed suicide. She has spoken with Abby and hopes the difficult topic will be addressed with the team. After last week’s solo bomb, it’s no surprise that Abby isn’t in the greatest mood for this week’s pyramid. Since they didn’t compete, the minis are spared the pyramid and sent to work with a guest choreographer. Abby vows to make more time for them this week, as she hopes she’ll find a mini-Maddie in the bunch.

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Below Deck recap

On last night’s Below Deck, love was in the air for Valentine’s Day. And Kate Chastain decided it was her turn to play Cupid! As both the coordinator of the charter guests’ engagement dinner and the mastermind behind Ben Robinson’s slick move to win over Emily Warburton Adam, Kate had her hands in everyone’s emotional business. (At least she didn’t have her hands all over Ro anymore, as most of us are still recovering from last week’s eternal public makeout session.)

Meanwhile, Captain Lee Rosbach still has a bee in his bonnet about Kelley Johnson’s ability to bosun up. Kelley doesn’t do himself any favors this week when he practically crashes the tender into the sea pool, the yacht, everyone on board…you know, just a minor slip up in the day of a yachtie! Oh – and Kyle Dixon decides it’s time once and for all to club his Alaskan faced woman over the head and drag her back to his cave (er, bunk). A dizzy Sierra Storm has no chance to escape The Kyle. The Kyle is a’comin, and he’s a’comin with no Wellies this time!

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Real Housewives of Orange County recap

Just when you thought the Real Housewives Of Orange County couldn’t behave any worse in Ireland, Vicki Gunvalson flashes her boobs at the dinner table and Shannon Beador turns into a after-school special about middle-age bullying.

What a strange episode! So Kelly Dodd is a rampant liability who needs to be exposed, so suddenly the ladies are all BFF with Vicki again. Yes, even Shannon. Tequila Shots became the Trojan Horse of RHOC last night, and it was well, awful.

These women know Vicki’s love tank, all cylinders of it, are running on “E” and her yearning to be their friend is so palpable you could drink it in a shot glass. Yet, who is Kelly’s only conceivable ally on RHOC? Vicki – the other ostracized one. And how do you get Kelly defenseless when she’s indefensible? Capture Vicki, leaving her bogged down in the conflict between what is right and what is right for her right now.

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Juicy Goes To Prison

Last night Real Housewives Of New Jersey lost one of its greatest assets when Joe Giudice left for prison. Just think – all it took for the Gorgadices to mend their family feud was for Juicy to get incarcerated!

The episode begins counting down the days before Joe goes “away” for 41 months. No one feels it as deeply as Teresa Giudice, who tries to make each moment count with special activities for the girls to bond with their dad. First is a little Magnolia Bakery plug to decorate cupcakes for the birthdays Joe will miss while locked up. Also, there was glitter and we know Teresa has never been able to turn her back on an errant piece of glitter.

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