Last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta was all about love and motherhood and all the complications that come with it. But first, like with all things, we must dip our toe in hate!
Phaedra Parks, Porsha Williams, and Sheree Whitfield take their camel toes to brunch to discuss Sheree’s fight with Kenya Moore. Apparently, Kenya has been conducting faulty research, which misled her to believe Sheree is a hoe. “HOE!” scoffs Sheree, “I ain’t never been associated with no hoes!” Well, except for the ones Bob was probably cheating with. Sheree is indignant that someone who “slept her way to the top of the Z-List DVD rack” has the nerve to accuse her of impropriety.
Well, we’ve come to the bittersweet end of season four’s 90 Day Fiance, gang. It’s hard to believe it was mere months ago that Anfisawas shutting down Jorge’s phone all the way from Russia – and things haven’t changed much since! Except, now Anfisa can call herself “Mrs. Jorge,” or whatever. Because that insane chick actually marries the spineless man she trapped wooed from afar last night!!! As Mattand Allatake the plunge, they just hope someone has drugged creepy friend Patrick for the ceremony. And Narkyia and Nicole are left wondering what to do with the gigantic sh*tshows they’ve made of their lives.
A “Tell All” special followed last night’s season finale. Although we won’t be recapping last night’s part one reunion in this finale post, I will post a recap of part two. Because, let’s face it: There is just waaaaaaay too much crazy to talk about. We need more time to decompress, people! In the mean time, feel free to comment on any of last night’s full tilt insanity below.
Last night’s Don’t Be Tardy showcased a stressful time in the Zolciak-Biermann household. Teen angst was at an all time high. Kim and Kroy didn’t see eye-to-eye. Red solo cups were flung around with reckless abandon, and the phrase of all phrases was born (and continues to echo through my brain). Thank you, Bravo. Just thank you.
The episode begins with Kim and crew heading to an Atlanta studio. Kim has used Instagram to set up a dance lesson for Brielle, ChefTracey, and Shun. Everyone is wearing sexy heels, but poor Tracey is having a very hard time with her footwear. The lesson for today is some stripper dancing, and Kim is ecstatic that she can finally hang out with Brielle as besties and not just in the mother-daughter capacity. Not to mention, Kim loves some gyrating!
Finally! Rhonnie and Karla weigh in on part two of the Little Women: LA reunion! Wait – who are Rhonnie and Karla, you ask? Good question! They are, in fact, total rando’s that Christy McGinity Gibel feels the need to trot out once more, apparently under the guise of having “backup.” They were first seen acting like thirsty wannabees at Casino Night; now they’re gracing the couches for a final say. Or something. You know how Taylor Swift has her Squad? Yeah, well, this is the like that. Except – totally not like that. Ah, Christy. You make it hard for us to go to bat for you, chica!
The rest of the men join the ladies in part two as well, adding their opinions to the stinkpile of rehashed topics such as: Tonya Banks’ comments on average sized children, new babies (yay!), and more. Hang on, gang…I pinky promise that we are almost DONE with season 5! (I am sending Lifetime an invoice for a 7-day spa retreat as reparation for living through this mess!!!)
Now that’s how you go down swinging! Too often, we see players leave the game with a whimper, or even taking some key information with them to their Survivor grave (Michaela was criticized for not outing Jay‘s Idol just a few weeks ago). But not tonight. An explosive Tribal Council culminated in a #SurvivorBomb being dropped, and when the smoke cleared, we were left with just 11 contestants left.
Let’s get through tonight’s episode, shall we? It was another good one, and while this season can be called many things, “predictable” is not one of them.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE, AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING!
Is it bad that I’ve decided that yet another hour long Dance Moms episode means that something is right with the world? Perhaps that was Steven Collins’ plan all along with that slew of ninety minute ridiculousness! Either that, or I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Thirty Year Old Grandma!
On last night’s show, the veteran mothers made good on their threat to look elsewhere for training, and Abby Lee Miller threw yet another tantrum. It was pretty amazing, to be honest. In light of Abby’s legal woes and mounting erratic behavior, the women decide to rent out their own studio. The elite team is ecstatic, and Kira gifts the girls with a new team jacket. She’s enlisted a rival dance instructor and famed choreographer given the girls will be performing at a competition with the ALDC minis. Kalani Hilliker is thrilled to be working with Erin, and the entire team seems to have a renewed confidence. An added bonus? No pyramid!
Nico was a big player in this week’s episode and, given the nature of the crew’s ongoing shenanigans, our RT snark fest will go on, business as usual, in the name of mindless fun we all enjoy. But my heart truly does go out to Nico during this turbulent time.
Okay. Onto the episode! Last night was a cluster of epic proportions.
Last night Lisa Vanderpump hosted World Dog Day and declared it a mandatory requirement for all Vanderpump Rules stars to own a dog. James Kennedy is exempt, however,because obviously Lisa cares about the welfare of her furry friends!
OK, just kidding – they didn’t have to own a dog, but it might as well have been a decree. Some of them <ahem… Stassi Schroeder…> were so eager to suck-up to Lisa via dog-loving they adopted two poor doggies, and dressed them up in bonnets fit for English Tea.
Before we dealt with dogs, however, we had to deal with pussy cats. And also bitches. All in a days work at SUR, right!? The bitch is Jax Taylor who has been spreading news of Kristen Doute petting Brittany Cartwright‘s kitty-cat all over SUR.