Sometimes I just want to see Kody Brown's hair blowing in the breeze when I watch Sister Wives. I don't want to hear Meri whining or Christine jabbering on about the family's mission statement while Janelle quietly plans her mistake. I certainly don't want to be treated to a little ditty about Robyn's first sexual experience!
The cul-de-sac compound is in full swing, and all of the children are excited to be in such close proximity. Kody's hair is more feathered than normal, and he's looking forward to the first family church service in the new homes. While Kody leads his family in a lesson and has asked his wives to contribute. This week, Robyn will be dishing on chastity and sexual purity. Perhaps that will wake up the teens who are nodding off during Kody's service.
Indictment drama is not translating into new viewers for The Real Housewives of New Jersey, as the show's audience declined again this week! Another 200,000 fans tuned out the show this Sunday, bringing it down to 2.2 million watchers.
Brody Jenner Keeping Up with the Kardashians continues to reel in a decent sized viewership again this week, seeing a small downward turn, but overall is holding steady this season with an average of more than 2.5 million. This week the show pulled in 2.74 million fans who aren't as sick of the Kardashian-Jenners as they proclaim.
Those 200,000 RHONJ fans who jumped ship must've headed over to watch Hollywood Exes instead because the show saw a bump from 623,000 last week to 814,000 this week! Not too shabby considering the big mistake of moving it to Sunday night.
It's moving day for Christine, and it's sheer chaos. Janelle is also moving the remainder of her things out of her rental. Madison is excited to have the whole family back together so that she can escape to another family home on the cul-de-sac in the event that her brothers are annoying the crap out of her. She also thinks it will be great for her younger siblings to be able to play together more often.
Meri still has no news on her house, and she and Mariah are upset. Kody's hair and facial tan make him look like a crazed snow boarder, and I'm confused by his vest…in a good way, of course. The Brown clan has decided to put off celebrating Christmas for a week in hopes that Meri will be in her new digs by then.
A whole lot of reality TV fans still care about the Kardashians – 2.856 million this week – despite the cries that say otherwise. I've honestly never seen an episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians, but a quick Google search tells me that Sunday's episode featured a pouty Kendall who wants her own beach house and a pissed off Kris who deniesBruce a putting green.
I'd rather shoot myself in the foot. Moving on…
The wee bump up that Real Housewives of New Jerseyreceived last week, possibly due to Joe and Teresa Giudice's federal indictment, disappeared faster than Poison's spray-on hair. This week, 2.410 million viewers came back to see the end of Teresa and Jacqueline's little tawk, which is a 6.37% decline in viewership. Is it time for Bravo to recast this hot mess?
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What do you call Kody Brown making eighteen thousand walk-throughs of his new cul-de-sac compound? Why last night's episode of Sister Wives of course! Janelle, Christine, and Robyn are all set to move in, but poor Meri just can't seem to catch a break with the loan underwriters. Shucks!
It's another walk through, and the homes are finally landscaped. Christine gushes about her new kitchen, and Robyn teases that it sounds like Christine is describing the love of her life when waxing poetic about her appliances. Sounds about right. I'd prefer granite countertops to a flaxen haired polygamist wearing head-to-toe denim. Christine is stressing about packing, and apparently she thinks her children will be motivated by copious amounts of baby talk.
Last night's Sister Wives was lacking all the whine that has been present for last few weeks. Thankfully, I wasn't lacking in wine. Sometimes it takes a little pinot noir for me to watch Robyn, Meri, Christine, and Janelle fight for Kody Brown's affections. Hey, I get it…that hair would make me a fool for love too!
Robyn has got to be over the moon. Not two short weeks ago, no one wanted to be involved in My Sister Wives Closet, but now business-minded Janelle realizes it could be the perfect avenue to create a line of modest exercise gear. Christine is also hopping on the bandwagon after she got the tragic news that realtor actually have to do work, so that job prospect is out of the question. She wants to market the business with some t-shirts, but Kody doesn't want to cheapen the company with fumpy gimmicks. For someone who didn't want to be a part of this gig, Kody sure is vocal. Robyn jokes that Kody needs to put on his big boy panties. Has he done something different with his beard? Dead sexy.
Janelle is getting frustrated with the plateau in her weight loss goals. While she was consistently losing weight in the beginning, the numbers aren't getting lower now. Janelle counts her calories and works out an hour a day, six days a week. Her trainer convinces her to bring in her scale. He wonders why Janelle is focused on the number on the scale when now she's running and getting stronger. He makes her take a sledgehammer to the scale, and Janelle feels liberated. She then models some pants that are now several sizes too big, and she realizes that she is making major progress.
While Kody Brown's hair may be my most favorite thing ever, the whole concept of Sister Wives is a bit off-putting. Perhaps if the women weren't so whiny, I could see why they'd all want to spend time together, but, alas, that isn't the case. However, I do enjoy the episodes that showcase the family's teenagers.
These kids are smart, mature, and seem to think for themselves. While Logan is Kody's mini-me, Janelle's daughter Madison totally speaks her mind. They didn't ask to be brought into this lifestyle. Being a teenager is hard enough, but being a teenager with three extra moms, a bed-hopping dad, and a gajillion half siblings–I can't imagine!
However, in Sunday's episode, Meri's daughter Mariah reveals that she wouldn't want her life any other way, and the seventeen-year-old is looking forward to the day when she has her own sister wives.