Good news – maybe?! – the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has already been renewed. Bad news – the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast won’t change much for season seven. Why can’t we have nice things?
Earlier today, Bravo announced the six new and fourteen returning shows that will fill its summer and fall schedules. Obviously, RHOBH is on the list for fall. It will be a while before the cast is set in stone and revealed; however, when a fan tweeted @ Andy Cohen that Lisa Rinna, Yolanda Foster, Erika Girardi, and Eileen Davidson must go, he replied, “No way!”
Are y’all still with me? If you haven’t taken a sledgehammer to your phone/tablet/computer because of Andy‘s bad judgementTweet, look below to find out what other questionable choices goodies Bravo has in store for viewers.
Y’all know I love my trashy, hair-pulling, scotch swilling, spandex wearing, bartender STD spreading, limo riding, funeral home owning, Hermes wearing, polygamous, tax evading reality stars as much as the next person (okay, more…much more), but it’s not my favorite reality genre. Weird, right? Sometimes, I don’t want drama. I want food porn, and if it happens to come with a side of Curtis Stone, so be it.
Top Chef is my all time favorite Bravo creation. Give me Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio, an insane Quick Fire, and throw in Hugh Acheson’s eyebrows every now and again, and I am one happy gal. Even with twelve seasons under its belt, the franchise always manages to delight with colorful characters and creative challenges that leave me wishing I could prepare uni and sweetbreads as part of my daily diet.
While some of our favorite reality shows may deserve Emmy Awards for their acting and scripts, they DO get some recognition in other categories. The Primetime Emmys were announced this morning and several of our favorite shows made the cut!
Dancing with the Stars, Project Runway, Flipping Out and Million Dollar Listing New York were among the many shows given an Emmy nod today. The Emmy winners will be announced on August 25th. Check out who made the cut!
Last week on Top Chef, Micah Fields won the sexy knife quickfire challenge and Kristen Kish won the memorable moments elimination challenge. In a cook-off with Lizzie Binder, John Tesar (and his eye glasses) fell victim to the curse of the risotto and was eliminated. Ouch! Being eliminated over Lizzie, who knowingly cooked and served questionable scallops, had to be embarrassing.
While Josh Valentine (and his twisty mustache) is glad John is gone, Stefan Richter (and his wrinkle-free face) misses his "morning friend." Josie Malave declares she didn't come back as a stupid chef. True. She came back as an annoying chef.
The challenge: create a dish highlighting ginger… sponsored by Canada Dry Ginger Ale… in only fifteen minutes. Ginger Ale. It's what pays the bills.
15 minutes? Wolfgang Puck? The pressure is on! Lizzie makes a split-second decision and grabs watermelon. Brooke loves ginger and pairs it with squid. Stefan disses Sheldon's stir fry dish, calling it too pedestrian and Chinese restaurant, and Sheldon yells "mother f-ker" at his meat.
Last week on Top Chef Seattle, the cheftestants harvested fresh oysters and cooked for the Rat City Roller Girls. While everyone wished they could have voted Josie Malave off the Top Chef island, Bart Vandaele was eliminated for serving beyond bland food. I told those suckers that they'd regret not letting Josie sink in the mud, but they didn't listen to me.
This week's episode opens with Sheldon Simeon sharpening his knives and Stefan Richter slathering on wrinkle cream. Funny. Padma Lakshmi introduces this week's special guest, master blade smith Bob Kramer, who makes custom knives that sell for $500 an inch. That's crazy!
Bob cuts through two ropes to demonstrate just how awesome a $4,000 knife is. Sheldon begs to give him a hug; Lizzie Binder appears as if she hasn't slept in weeks; Stefan doesn't look too impressed. Perhaps Stefan would have cracked a smile or raised an eyebrow if Bob had busted out $4,000 wrinkle cream.
This week, instead of personally introducing the quickfire challenge, Padma Lakshmi and Emeril Lagasse leave a note. The note directs the chefs to take three Toyotas (ohh! ahh!) to Taylor Shellfish Farm.
When Josie Malave gets stuck in quicksand, Micah Fields and Stefan Richter come to her rescue. I don't know why. She's super annoying, nobody can stand her, and proving to be impossible to eliminate. Overall, the chefs are excited to harvest fresh oysters. They take their time, enjoying every second of the experience and slurping up fresh oysters as they go.
The challenge: the chefs must prepare an oyster dish for Emeril. In the kitchen, there are five red aprons and five blue aprons. Red aprons will prepare hot dishes and the blue aprons will prepare cold dishes. The winner gets $5000.
Padma Lakshmi introduces this week's guest judge to the eleven remaining contestants, season four winner Stephanie Izard. Stephanie is the only woman to ever win Top Chef.
The challenge: The chefs may cook whatever they like but every ingredient in the kitchen is wrapped in Reynolds Wrap (shameless product placement). The chefs blindly choose their ingredients. If they unwrap it, they must use it. Also, foil is the only cooking vessel that they are allowed to use.
Danyele McPherson – cannellini bean stew with bacon asiago cheese, and tomatillo. While Danyele was thrown off by the tomatillo, Stephanie thinks it improved the dish. Micah Fields – grilled lamb with tomato fennel panzanella. The lamb is rare. Stefan – hot smoked salmon with german potato salad served with champagne. John Tesar – beed egg drop soup with braised pineapple. Stephanie likes the pineapple and the beef combination.
Brooke – bacon roasted yams with bacon, onion, and apple salad. The raw onion nearly kills Padma. Josh Valentine – roasted chicken with potatoes, poblano, tomatillo, and carrots. Stephanie appreciates the small hint of heat. Kristen Kish – almond and chocolate sponge cake. Not only did Kristen mix the ingredients in a foil bowl but she also baked the cake in a foil pan. The texture of the cake is great. Kristen continues to impress me.
Newcomer Tyler Wiard and returning chef C.J. Jacobsen were sent home for being the worst of the worst. While Tyler went out as humble as ever, C.J.'s whiny ways didn't do him any favors.
Padma Lakshmi and Marilyn Hagerty, food writer for the Grand Forks Herald, introduce this week's Quickfire Challenge. Marilyn has been writing about middle-American restaurants for 30 years. About her career, Marilyn says, "It's been a hoot." Too cute! One day, I hope to look back on my career and say it's been a hoot.
The challenge: each chef must create a sweet and savory holiday dish reflecting his or her cultural heritage. The cheftestants have only 30 minutes and must share one knife. The twisty mustache gets first dibs on the knife, so the other chefs get creative with graters, meat slicers, spatulas, pizza cutters, and busted scissors.