Teresa Giudice is in a hailstorm of trouble. If she thought strippergate was something to get worked up over, she hasn't seen anything like going to trial against the federal government. No amount of body glitter can save a girl now! #OrangeIsTheNewLeopard.
While I fully intend Kim D, Teresa's eternally supportive BIFFL, to make her some Posche-appropriate prison garb and stage a Big House fashion show, Teresa is still hedging bets that she'll avoid jail time.
Right now Teresa and Joe Giudice are developing a legal strategy that seems to focus on Juicy serving jail time while the Real Housewives of New Jersey star plays the innocent, doting wife who was a victim of his schemes.
So in case you haven't heard, Joe Giudice was charged with like 3 zillion money fraud related indictments. Which is about how much money he also owes because of bankruptcy debts related to falsifying income. And when he's done there he owes the IRS big too. Long story short, homeboy is in biiig trouble!
Among the revelations that emerged about the Real Housewives of New Jersey star during the court proceedings was that, despite being married to Teresa Giudice for like 15 years, Joe never bothered to become a U.S. citizen. Which means he's still an Italian citizen, since he was born there. And since he's not a U.S. citizen, as a felon or a convicted offender he could be deported!
We've been wondering how likely it was that ol' Juicy could be shipped off to Italy and lucky us, we got the opportunity to speak to an immigration attorney who gave us some insight into how cases such as these generally work.
Disclaimer: This attorney does not represent Teresa or Joe and is in no way connected personally or professionally to their case or to Reality Tea. This attorney just so happens to be a RHONJ fan like the rest of us!
The dramedy Tainted Dreams, which we reported on back in January, has finally come to fruition, with Dina filming her first scenes yesterday in New Jersey. The show explores a different concept–it's a fictional reality show about the behind-the-scenes drama of a soap opera starring a mix of reality and soap stars. However, everyone is playing a part. I'm getting confused just trying to type it!
In the video, Teresa pulls out the speech she wrote (Or did she? I know y'all love to run with the idea Tre doesn't write her own blogs! Me, I'm neutral…just trying for a little joke!), and gives her thanks to a woman she's clearly never met–awkward! Teresa flips through her many note cards and reveals that daughter Milania shares that the product "smells like poop" on an upcoming episode after she learns that no children are invited to the line's launch party. The always hilarious Milania even tells her mother she needs to change the name of the collection if she can't attend! Out of the mouths of babes!
And hey, if you already have hair products you can't part with, you could get some Milania products to use as hand cream. No, I'm not kidding. Watch after the jump!
"Of course, the Gorgas will step up, as will [cousins] Rich and Kathy Wakile, especially since the kids are involved," a family insider revealed to Perez Hilton.
If that happens, Bravo better get those cameras rolling. I can only imagine Melissa Gorga wrestling with Milania as she tries to plaster down that hair and turn her into a sweet little angel with coordinated outfits. Milania doesn't do charm school, bitch.
Meanwhile, the sharks ate the Hollywood Exes alive, as only 667,000 viewers bothered to tune in. Hollywood Exes has two problems in my opinion. One – too much competition on Sunday. The show should move back to Wednesday. Two – viewers are over the Andrea Kelly and Jessica Canseco drama.
Finally, Princesses: Long Island finished their first (hopefully last) season on a higher note, with 899,000 viewers. Even the sharks swam away from this hot mess in search of something less irritating. Princesses Long Island's season average was 889,300.
"The consequences may be bigger than anyone would think," Lea told PEOPLE. Lea says her "heart breaks" for Teresa's girls and the family. "It's a bad situation for them to be in."
And she thinks those around Teresa should remain positive. "You don't kick someone when they're down. They've got four kids, they're in a lot of trouble and they're trying to survive." Lea also comments that Teresa may need "help" raising the girls because of the possibility of Juicy "going away."