Last night on Real Housewives of Miami we were witness to the slooooowest wedding ever. I mean it took over five years and then some hours to finally get that thing officially off the ground, right?!
Adriana de Moura was hours upon hours late to her own affair because she confused wedding with fashion show and was holed up in a suite getting dressed. Meanwhile downstairs the guests were sweating to death before passing out from hunger and finally giving up and leaving. Hopefully they all swung by McDonald's on their way out.
Twenty-four hours before the big day, the drama begins. Adriana is having a stress attack and is so sick she's talking about skipping the whole thing to sleep. She pretty much did skip the whole thing but that's cause she was grooming. Speaking of grooming, despite just getting an IV of vitamins she needsFrederic Marq to give her a B-12 shot in the butt for more vitamins. Is it possible to be addicted to them?
This week at theReal Housewives of New Jersey reunion, we all noticed that Jacqueline Laurita was uncharacteristically quiet. She shared in her new blog why she was barely speaking and it's not because she only knows how to communicate through Tweets now. She also confirms that she hasn't made a decision about next season….
Jacs explains, "My goal for the reunion: Keep it real but "speak only when spoken to" and only on issues concerning me or a scene I was involved in. (Unlike last years reunion.) Last reunion I was brutally honest to the point that I said things that were not my place to say, because I was angry. I crossed the line a few times when I just should have stayed quiet. When I hear people lying to or about me, it hurts and angers me and I start calling people out. After I saw what that looked like last reunion, I decided I would not let that happen again, and I would have more self-control over my emotions in the future."
London, I wish I could have apologized in advance for sending you the women of Basketball Wives. Oddly enough,Tasha Marbury and Suzie Ketcham manage to play nice, while Tami Roman remains in a zen-like state for the majority of the episode. Shaunie O'Neal seems more into sightseeing with her boy toy than stirring the pot, and Evelyn Lozada is ready to debut her line…because she'd like to see it, too. Wow, London! I'd say you lucked out…for now!
The women arrive across the pond, and Evelyn hopes that everyone is excited for her Vida Lux fashion show. She's a tad nervous though because she hasn't seen the dresses that will be going down the runway. Check that, she's a tad nervous so she is refusing to look at the dresses beforehand because she doesn't want to get stressed out if they aren't what she'd hoped. Perhaps she and Alexis Bellino should tryout together for the next Project Runway. #designer?? #bwhahaha
Suzie is concerned that the strippers in England aren't getting enough Vitamin C due to the lack of sun exposure. Tasha wonders aloud if Suzie forgot to take her meds the day of the hat swatting. Tasha refuses to acknowledge Suzie but for passive aggressive comments, and Tami wishes (for once) that everyone could just get along.
You have to hand it to Mob Wives'Renee Graziano. The hardened reality star basically unraveled during the demise of her marriage and the realization that her husband had turned state's evidence on her father. As you know, VH1 cameras were there to capture it all.
Thankfully, Renee was able to pull herself up by her bootstraps and get the help she needed to overcome the addictions she used to numb her pain. Not wanting to return to the person she once was, Renee continues to take measures to better herself.
Another day, another Bravo housewife shoving a product in our faces. I don't even bat an eyelash at them anymore. Seriously, who does?
This time around it's former Real Housewives of Miami star Karent Sierra who is now promoting Colgate. You know, I have to give her credit…it's a perfect fit with her career as a dentist. It's not like she's just putting her name on a gussied up Zima or penning a cookbook about microwave dinners.
Since the demise of the Style Network, I've been anxious to find out what will happen to a few of my favorite reality shows. While some of Style's lineup will simply disappear, a few shows will likely end up on E!, Oxygen, or Bravo.
The thought of never seeing my favorite Big Rich Texas stars again gives me a serious case of the sads. Le sigh. So, when Melissa Poe tweeted that she's involved with a new reality series, I may have let out a happy little squee.
Every once in a while, I have to give credit where credit is due when it comes to the reality TV stars I love to hate. I really (really, really) thought Emily Maynard would do everything in her power to remain in the spotlight following her stint as the Bachelorette. Much to my surprise – not so much!
It's been a full year since Emily and Jef Holm ended their engagement – can you believe it? – and nearly ten months since Emily gave Reality Tea anything to snark on. These days, Emily appears to be content spending time with her daughter, Ricki, and a new mystery man, as well as designing and blogging.