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Samsung Hope For Children Gala

You know, fans and co-stars (I'm looking at you Teresa Giudice) always get on Real Housewives of New Jersey's Jacqueline Laurita for her excessive tweeting.  You know what I say to that?  Hogwash!  The woman needs to learn how to express her feelings in 160 characters or less because her Bravo blog this week was nine pages long.  NINE PAGES!

In it, Jacqueline reminds herself for three pages that her goal with Teresa was to be civil, not to mend their friendship.  We got.  Actually, we got it the first time you wrote it!  Likewise, she explains for several paragraphs pages why she felt the need to get the tummy tuck.  I'll spare you the detailed description of her pre-surgery lingerie routine.  You're welcome.

Of course, I am just giving Jacq a hard time, but I tried to only hit the highlights for you.  I feel like Ross on that episode of Friends…"Yes, you went on for eighteen pages…FRONT AND BACK!"

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kandi-burruss

I don't know about you, but I have a very special place in my heart for the ladies of Real Housewives of Atlanta.  I feel like we've seen them change the most, and while they are every bit as dramatic as their Bravo counterparts (sometimes more), the don't seem as one dimensional as some of the other franchise's housewives.

While we wait for their return, the least I can do is makes sure you get the women in small doses.  Recently, Kandi Burruss posted a vlog interview on her website where she talks about cast shake-ups and marriage break-ups.  In true Kandi fashion, she makes sure that she maintains a very neutral stance on NeNe Leake's comments on the reunion about wanting out with old and in with the new as far as the ladies are concerned.  She also stays very measured when asked about Porsha and Kordell Stewart's divorce.

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teresa-giudice-buster

Last week, RT reported on Teresa Giudice's first public appearance after being indicted on multiple counts of fraud.  The Real Housewives of New Jersey star accepted an award for "Best Specialty Hair Care" on behalf of Youthful8 – The Milania Collection at the 2013 Beauty Busters Awards.  As you know, the fate of her hair care line is now up in the air thanks to her legal woes. This week, we have the footage of Tre's speech, and in it, she dishes on what we'll be seeing on an upcoming episode of RHONJ!

In the video, Teresa pulls out the speech she wrote (Or did she?  I know y'all love to run with the idea Tre doesn't write her own blogs!  Me, I'm neutral…just trying for a little joke!), and gives her thanks to a woman she's clearly never met–awkward!  Teresa flips through her many note cards and reveals that daughter Milania shares that the product "smells like poop" on an upcoming episode after she learns that no children are invited to the line's launch party.  The always hilarious Milania even tells her mother she needs to change the name of the collection if she can't attend!  Out of the mouths of babes!

And hey, if you already have hair products you can't part with, you could get some Milania products to use as hand cream.  No, I'm not kidding.  Watch after the jump!

 

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josh altman

Million Dollar Listing LA's Josh Altman actually has a life outside of conducting himself like a pompous jackleg while kissing up to my man Mauricio Umansky…who knew?  I kid, I kid.  While I can barely stomach Altman's arrogance, I'd do just about anything for Josh Flagg.  Alas, I watch.

While I was excited to tune in to last night's season premiere, it's been evident from the promos that Josh Altman's story line is going to revolve around getting engaged to girlfriend and Madison Hildebrand defector Heather Bilyeu.  She's now Mauricio's right hand girl…I wonder how Splits feels about that!  That said, it came as no shock to find out that Josh did finally get down on one knee (metaphorically speaking, I assume…he'd never want to get his pants dirty).

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The Real Housewives of Miami - Season 3

Real Housewives of Miami's Joanna Krupa isn't known to mince words, and she's certainly not going to start while she's out and about promoting the upcoming season of the hit Bravo franchise which premiere this coming Monday night at 9 PM.  

The outspoken model, newlywed, former Joe Francis conquest, and PETA activist has a sharp tongue when it comes to her co-stars, and Joanna seems pretty determined to bring the drama on RHOM third go-round.  After all, drama seems to equal relevance when you're a Bravolebrity!  

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The Real Housewives of Miami - Season 3

You know, it's a shocker that Adriana de Moura and Joanna Krupa aren't biffles.  Maybe the Real Housewives of Miami stars are just too much alike to get along.  To be honest, but for their hair color, they could practically be the same person.  Both ladies have explosive tempers, flawless figures, and potty mouths, and they strive to always be the center of attention while stringing along the men in their lives.  Wonder twin powers, activate!  Form of: silicone ice, shape of: boobalicious Bravolebrity!

Now Adriana is following in Joanna's PETA footsteps, and now she's starring in her own animal empowering photo shoot.

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The Los Angeles premiere of 'Smurfs 2' - Arrivals

Does anyone remember not so long ago when former mortal enemies Tamra Barney and Gretchen Rossi became best buds?  The Real Housewives of Orange County duo were thick as thieves as they gossiped about their other besties.  It was good times, right?  RIGHT?

Well, seasons change, and the women are once again on the outs thanks to wedding gown shopping and Reba McEntire.  "Here's your one chance Fancy, don't let me down."  But let each other down both fancy pants did, and now they are back to snarking about each other on social media.  That didn't take long.  Full circle, some might say…

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teresa-giudice-full

I'm convinced if their businesses bazillion ventures fail or they bid farewell to reality television (either by choice or incarceration), the women of Real Housewives of New Jersey could make fabulous livings as spin instructors.  They certainly must get a good work out changing their stories every five seconds.  All of the women are guilty of it, but Teresa Giudice and sister-in-law Melissa Gorga are shining professionals when it comes to spinning their version of events to make them the good guy.  Hey, at least it's entertaining!

After being accused of threatening Melissa in her blog last week, Teresa clarifies her words in yesterday's Bravo entry.  She promises that all of the family (well, maybe not ALL of them…she implies that one little lady is still up to her evil ways) is trying to make things better after that dramatic retreat.  Tre writes, "What did you think of the Miracle at St. George? I think I haven't cried that much in my whole life. I cried all over again watching it. All this nonsense about our family not getting along for 10 years just isn't true."

Teresa continues, "You can tell from how we were at the end of the episode — cooking and laughing and enjoying each other like close families do. I wish I could have had every one of you in the room with us to feel the love. You deserve it after watching our darkest moments! Thank you all so much for keeping the faith in my family!"  No problem, Billy Joel!  Happy to oblige.  Teresa is right on that front…we have seen a lot of darkness with the women of RHONJ, and I for one welcomed the reprieve!

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