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Kris Jenner Bruce Jenner Separated?

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Run, Bruce Jenner!  Run as fast as you can!  We all know you can do it, and you've got the medal to prove it. Do not pass go, do not collect $200! I can't even. I mean, I may very well be at a loss for words, and y'all know that is never the case!

On the heels of their separation announcement, Kris Jenner is taking every opportunity she can to share her relief over being rid of husband Bruce. It's really quite sad and disrespectful, but then again, that's par for the course with Kris, isn't it?  People has the details of the pimpmomager's cover story for New You magazine, and in it, Kris describes what she would want for her one do-over.  Hint: it has nothing to do with Bruce.  

Kris reveals, "The one regret, if I had to do it over, would be divorcing Robert Kardashian. But then there wouldn't have been Kendall and Kylie, so that's the way I look at it. Everything happens for a reason, and we learn from our mistakes. I thought I was so smart when I was young; I was fearless." I am really holding back here, and it's harder than expected.

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  <–That's not just ALL CAPS, folks.  That is a legitimate scream.  If that scream was in a movie, it would be the desperate cry of someone who had just fallen off the world's largest cliff, and it would be loud enough to start an avalanche on a neighboring continent.  It would only be slightly less dramatic than Sally Field realizing she had eighteen personalities, her daughter was trapped in a Middle Eastern custody dispute, and her ex-husband was dressing in drag as the nanny…all at the same time.  It's a true scream.  But why?

Kris flippin' Jenner.  That's why.  Remember when rumors seemed so true that her talk show was cancelled and the world rejoiced?  Yeah, me too…and I'm not even home during the day to  defiantly not watch it.  It looks like that call may have been premature.  Thanks a lot, tiny rapper.

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