As if two episodes of Shahs of Sunset in 48 hours isn't bad enough, this one kicks off withMercedes "MJ" Javid showing off her boobs. Thank goodness Bravo isn't broadcast in 3D. MJ says she's spent thousands of dollars trying to simultaneously keep her boobs under control, cinch her waist, and eliminate back fat – to no avail – so she has decided to design her own bra and shaping garment. MJ "shapes" the air right out her lungs, explaining, "I have the tiniest waist, it's just not being cinched properly." #delusional
Meanwhile, Jessica is converting to Judaism for Mike Shouhed, although he has yet to propose. Mike and Jessica go through the motions of a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony during class, and Mike starts to sweat. Mike reminds us that he used to be the MVP of Vegas (Most Valuable Persian) and I think about the smug Shahs of Sunset tagline, "We don't work in buildings. We own buildings." Now? Mike rents bus wraps, so he needs to get over himself and put a ring on Jessica's finger before someone else does.
Bravo treated us to an extra episode of Shahs of Sunset this week to boost viewership – IMO – and it worked! A whopping 1.977 million viewers tuned in to Shahs of Sunset on Sunday night, when only 978,000 bothered to watch the regularly scheduled episode just two weeks ago. I hope the Shahs of Sunset plan to send thank you notes to the Real Housewives of Atlanta.
"The intensity on Shahs is getting huge," tweeted GG. "So this week we'll be giving y'all an episode on Sunday and another on Tuesday! This is a one time thing so get ready for an amazing ride of drama!"
I believe Reza had issues with Sasha, but I definitely do not believe this was their first ever encounter. I think Reza is a very mean-spirited and disrespectful person, and the producers used it to their advantage this week.
First up, Mike Shouhed visits a dermatology and hair restoration clinic to find out if his hair needs professional help, as his asshat of a friend Reza has suggested. Then Mike bring Reza for moral support – Mike doesn't need hair help, he needs brain help. Reza never stops making fun of Mike. Mike puffs out his chest and says he's going to shave Reza's head and mustache ("that Burt Reynolds looking mother f–ker") while he's sleeping. Yeah, sure.
So, a doctor examines Mike's full head of thick black hair, then determines he's not balding. What. A. Nail. Biter. But the scene wasn't all for naught – we learn Mike suffers from ear dandruff. As well as poor taste in best friends.
Reza complains about how Lilly acts like she is above the rest of the group – yes, really – and he's proud of MJ for finding her voice. Wait. Let me get this straight. A few months ago, MJ was a sloppy pill popping lying alcoholic, but now she's appropriately reacting to the hate that Lilly spews? Got it.
Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi thinks Lilly's right, in this instance, but she chooses not to speak up. I have a feeling she comes to regret this.
So, I moustache you, are you ready for Shahs of Sunset? Reza Farahan is – but first he wants us to know where things stand between him and his co-stars.
Speaking to OK!, Reza admits he's not in a good place with Mike Shouhed. "Our business relationship really messed up our personal relationship," he shares. "It was a huge mistake to go into a real estate partnership with Mike. I wish I could take that back."
On the other hand, Reza says he and Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi are in a "calm and beautiful" place. "As long as the anger and venom is not directed towards me, it's tolerable," Reza adds. "But it's very difficult when it's pointed in your direction."
To kick things off, Mike Shouhed visits MJ to help her express her dog's anal glands. Seriously. The only thing I'll say about this is, the free alcohol is a nice touch, but there are not enough tequila shots in the world for that. Then we learn TMI about MJ's shower habits. Pass the tequila. No shot glass necessary.
Next Lilly meets up with Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi. So, these two are exploring their friendship, and Lilly's totally on board since GG is "skinny and pretty". She might cut a bitch, but at least she does it in a size 2 jean, right? GG reveals she's been dating a new guy for the past five months. Lilly gives her the side eye because she saw her making out with not-the-new-guy at the birthday party. GG says she was on a "two day break" so it's all good.