Andy opens by asking Brandi and Mike if they know each other. “He just tried to have sex with me in the back,” Brandi spouts off. Kicking the show off with class, naturally. Mike says “you and Golnesa would say yes.”
Things are definitely not any better between Brandi and Kyle Richards. Brandi says that she ran into Kyle at Sephora in NYC earlier in the day (she’s a guest on WWHL tomorrow night) and Kyle ran out of the store. “I had to get my lashes, I had to stay.” She says they didn’t speak at all.
In a series of now deleted tweets, Lisa questioned why Kim, who is at the center of all the drama this season, is the only one who never writes her Bravo blogs. According to Lisa, writing while drunk is really, really hard. Tell that to Brandi!
Last night Lisa was asked why Bravo doesn’t make all the Housewives write blogs. “Isn’t it part of the housewives contracts,” the tweet inquired. Lipsa, who wants us to know no to believe anything unless we hear it from her lips responded, “#exactly.”
We all remember that incredibly hard to watch limousine ride on the season finale of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills when Kim Richards accused her sister Kyle of stealing her house and then Kyle outed Kim as an alcoholic. It was so awkward, and we got round two on the latest episode in Kyle’s very, very brown new home. Seriously, it was a lot of brick!
After Kim once again accused Kyle of unfairly cheating her out of her portion of their mother’s Palm Desert home, Kyle decided it was time to defend herself. She explains some of the background on selling the house and updates viewers on where the sisters’ relationship currently stands. It doesn’t sound good.
Lisa said she knew Kyle was “in need of someone to talk to” about Kim.
“I am just as sick of this topic as all of you are,” shared Lisa, “but at this point, it was quite evident to me that Kim’s “best friend” had decided to fill her in on the conversation we had over lunch but conveniently left out her entire role in the conversation. One would assume that Brandi realized she’d spoken of Kim in a way that would upset her, so she lumped the whole conversation on me. Brandi needed me to be the bad guy in order to keep Kim from being mad at her, too.”
The ladies start off the last leg of their Tour de Denial at the flower market. Earlier, while they were biking through the city Lisa Vanderpump saw a friend of her son Max. Brandi got to chatting… and other things… with said 23-year-old – lo and behold he asked her on a date, after spending the night with her. Are we sure they weren’t biking through the Red Light district? Isn’t dating your former bestie-turned-enemy-turned-stalking/slapping-recipient’s son’s friend a little, I dunno… Lifetime Movie creepy? I mean I can just picture Sela Ward playing the role of LVP.
Brandi, wearing a Fred Flintstone costume, recounts to Kim about “play slapping” Lisa. Kim laughs that uptight Lisa can’t take a joke – like that one time super sober champion soberling Kim joked about Harry doing evil, awful things and Lisa Rinna having evil, awful secrets… does Harry keep a people-eating troll in the basement?!
Just because Lisa Rinna‘s lips (and the words that may pass through them) are fake, doesn’t mean everything about her is! Yes, she may have tried to pretend her terrible altercation with Kim Richards never happened, but it was because she just wanted to get through the worst Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills trip ever and return safely to US soil. Do ya’ blame the lady?!
Describing her long strange trip in Amsterdam as, “the weirdest f—-ing thing ever,” Lisa admits after the first night she entered into survival mode. “This entire episode was a roller coaster of emotions and, quite frankly, non-emotions,” she explains. “After what happened the first night in AmsterDAMN, I became severely AmsterDAMAGED, and as you can see, I was basically navigating my way around in a walking coma.”
It wasn’t Lisa’s intention to be insincere or ignore reality, she just wanted to avoid anymore issues. “Out of desperation to keep my last ounces of sanity in tact, I made a decision in that moment to move on.”