Real Housewives of Beverly Hills used to be a show about rich women who showed off their rich lady stuff. It’s currently about how Erika Jayne is trying to avoid finding herself in front of attorney, Jay Edelson. Between questioning Tom Girardi’s medical diagnosis and deciding whether or not EJ has gone from knee-deep to drowning in this fraud, lawyer Jay is basically the Obi-Wan Kenobi of orphans and widows who continue to suffer because money was stolen from them. This man is working hard, free of charge, for the victims of Lion Air Flight 610 and he’s pissed.
Along with Ronald Richards, special counsel appointed to Tom’s bankruptcy case, Jay and his team are uncovering new info that provides insight on things like Alzheimer’s Disease, losing massive amounts of cash, and illegally transferring money in an effort to conceal assets. Erika is playing the role of her life and she doesn’t have to powder up and slide into latex for this one. Now EJ is being hauled into bankruptcy court and Tom might have accidentally bribed the lead attorney. Karma has cleared her schedule for this one.
Well, well, well, what do we have here? What happens when a Housewives season falls flat on it’s face and thoughts, prayers, or medical science can’t bring it back from the dead? When this unusual phenomena occurs, someone at Bravo makes a phone call and calls in the big guns – or as my father would say, “the cleaners”. Real Housewives of Orange County is a mess, a big mess. Viewers are saying good-bye to dead weight and Heather Dubrow is coming in hot with the Windex.
Buh-bye Kelly Dodd, good luck Braunwyn Windham-Burke. Elizabeth Lyn Vargas, eh. RHOC suffered in the wake of Covid filming and cast members competing to see who could be the biggest asshole. We know who won that contest and the prize was walking papers. Fancy Pants is coming back but could another old school vet also materialize in an attempt to return RHOC to the glory days of yore? If that isn’t the case, Tamra Judge sure as hell wants you to think it is.
Okay, what in the actual hell is happening on Real Housewives of New York? The ratings have fallen faster than Luann de Lesseps’ last marriage, and that’s saying something because she was Mrs. D ‘Agostino for approximately 5 minutes. Eboni K. Williams was highly touted as the new woman on the scene and the first Black cast member, which was supposed to be a compliment to diversity but wound up being an exercise in failure.
Leah McSweeney has been riding the wave of the sophomore curse and may or may not be sinking the boat. The jury is still out on whether or not Leah is an asset or just a complete ass as she navigates a fine line between being woke and plain annoying. Now we’re hearing Ramona Singer is fired, which made Bethenny Frankel smile for the first time in 15 years. Today we receive news that the reunion is on hold, Andy Cohen is having a freak out, and something in the milk definitely ain’t clean in New York.
I guess it’s hard to be in charge of an “estate” that only has three Count Basie records and maybe a VHS collection of Miami Vice. That said, Robert Girardi has had his brother’s back in the incredibly unsettling twist of fate that has become Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: American Horror Story. It’s bad for Erika Jayne but much worse for Tom Girardi, everyone is playing a melodramatic role here and it’s like goddamned Shakespeare in the Park at this point.
Right after it started getting super hot in the kitchen, Tom received a very convenient diagnosis of Alzheimer’s Disease. Erika has gone from supportive wife of a big time lawyer to being unloved and trapped by someone who began deteriorating in front of her eyes. Tom was a “great man” who “gets” Erika but only until he loses his money and she files for divorce 5 days after praising him on national television. Now we take another giant leap into the unknown because Tom’s
legal defense medical advisors have declared him in definite need of a handler.
Well, the beat goes on but it’s not in a 4/4 time signature with a catchy hook. This is essentially the beatdown of Erika Jayne from the fallout of Tom Girardi basically embezzling from everyone who hired him as an attorney. The tears and mascara flowed on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills last night and today Erika is catching another case.
It has now become a never-ending cycle of assumptions, theft, and the tale of innocent victims who suffered in the wake of a massive fraud scheme. As the Girardi bankruptcy legal case looms over EJ’s head, she might want to hide the good extensions because trustees are coming for everything. Now her beloved jewelry might be on the line because a new suit has been filed regarding Erika’s “luxury items”. Heads up orphans and widows, the Cartier Panther Ring is about to go to the highest bidder on eBay.
Not that anyone asked, but my reaction to Melissa Gorga and her husband’s “marital issues” was one giant eyeroll. Obviously children of the Real Housewives of New Jersey stars would interpret and process things in a much different way, but you might be hard-pressed to find an adult who actually believed that mess. I’m sure Melissa’s sister tucked away in a cave somewhere would agree.
Every Housewife gets in a rut. After numerous consecutive years on one show surrounded by the same people, environments get tired and cast gets stale. Some ladies are stale on arrival and manage to hang on anyway. Speaking of Melissa, last season fans saw something they never thought they would see on RHONJ. This was a hiccup in the solid, sexy marriage between Melissa and Joe Gorga. While viewers and Jennifer Aydin might not have bought it for a second, her kids apparently did, and that isn’t good at all.
Former Summer House roommate and future eternal podcast host Hannah Berner is speaking on leaving the Bravo show after three seasons. While we search for fellow cast members and/or viewers distraught with this decision, Hannah has been doing mad press tours in anticipation of her wildly successful comedy career.
Hannah was a breath of fresh air when she joined the crew, then the air was sucked out of the room by delusion and viewers were left with a lot of crying in the supine position. After a “relationship” with a fellow cast member was a lot different in real life than it was in her head, Hannah didn’t handle it well and created an alternative reality no one wanted to live in. Until she met her fiancé, that is. Now Hannah says she’s a big girl and outgrew the Summer House histrionics, which is good because she wasn’t asked to return anyway.
Braunwyn Windham-Burke is now able to relax. She no longer has to showboat relationships outside of her marriage, will never have to see Kelly Dodd in person again, and can continue her journey to sobriety without being ridiculed by co-workers or strangers. Bravo did Real Housewives of Orange County and the viewing audience a solid by not renewing Braunie’s contract, but it might be Sean Burke who beats the final boss.
Braunwyn was almost certainly guaranteed another season to test the boundaries of traditional marriage and fight with everyone. In her quest to have 19 storylines at once, the facade cracked and Bravo pulled the plug because, liability. It’s one thing to have someone going to AA meetings on the show, but it’s quite another to have them detox on camera. So Braunwyn was let go and the facade went ahead and fell apart. If cameras aren’t following you, are you really married? For Braunwyn and Sean, the answer appears to be no.