The Real Housewives of DC Recap: The Gruesome Twosome

Following a one week hiatus for reasons unknown, the Real Housewives of DC returned last night with the airing of the 5th episode of the season, titled “Special Interests.

The episode began where we left off two weeks ago, with Tareq Salahi about to drop a bomb on Mary Amons, you know, because when you invite people over for dinner, confronting them over asinine issues and accusing their daughter of a crime is always the way to make them feel right at home and comfortable.

Tareq begins to tell a story of how a $90,000 car and $30,000 worth of polo gear was stolen from his charity. Tareq then drops a bombshell when he tells Mary cops have informed him that her daughter, Lolly Amons, was an accomplice to the crime based on some facebook postings she had made, admitting to enjoying a joy ride. And I have to ask myself, is this really the time or place to bring this up?


Mary immediately looks shell shocked and devastated, but the douchy/creepy Tareq could care less and continues to talk. We immediately see Stacie and her husband Jason, who both look shocked as well, step in to defend Mary. But the mean drunk isn’t having any of it, and refuses to back down despite Mary being in tears. Tareq even ups the ante when he claims the FBI is involved and I can’t help but snicker at this point. Evidently, the FBI gets involved with petty matters of auto and polo gear theft in Washington DC. I’m not buying the FBI’s involvement, and neither is Jason.

“I felt like the accusation that Tareq made out of left field was the worst sucker punch a mother could ever experience,” says Mary in her interview. “You know what I care about? You know what I care about? I care about what happened to that gear,” declares Tareq. In his interview, Tareq makes it clear he is the victim. “You know, everybody hurts,” declares Michaele. “The charity hurts, the polo players hurt,” continues Michaele. At this point, I’m realizing just how nutty the Salahis really are.

And from watching this scene, there is just something very creepy about this man in my opinion. Based on all the things I have read about him and his marriage, I would not be surprised if there was some form of abuse going in the Salahis’ marriage. All of Michaele’s castmates have mentioned in interviews that she is a completely different person when he’s not around. And during Stacie’s appearance on Watch What Happens Live last night, Andy Cohen asked her about the report of Michaele posing for Playboy, during which Stacie stated that Tareq probably put her up to it. Adding that Michaele does anything Tareq tells her to. As much as I want to feel sorry for Michaele, I don’t. Quite frankly, judging from her words and actions, I am not convinced she is a good person.

Now back to this serious allegations casually thrown out there by Tareq, the sad thing about it is that it is all false. According to the Washington Post, the cops received a complaint in May 2008 about a minor incident involving a report of missing clothes and polo gear. And here comes the shocker, the $90,000 vehicle Tareq claimed was stolen? Not stolen at all. It was simply moved from one spot to another in the same valet parking area.

According to the Post, a “possible suspect” was identified more than a year later, after police received new information, and some of the items were returned.” The Sheriff’s department also confirmed to the Post that Lolly Amons’ name was not involved in the investigation. And this just about proves just how awful and deceitful the Salahis are. While I think Tareq controls Michaele to some extent, I do believe she is just as awful as he is, and not an innocent party just going along for the ride.

Mary, who should have walked away much sooner, decides she’s had it and leaves the dinner table. And I still can’t get over this scene. I lost count of the number of times Tareq yelled out his car was stolen, only to find out that car was not even stolen! The only good part about this scene was seeing the Turners defend Mary.

Next, we see Cat, Stacie and Lynda‘s scrunchie meet up to discuss the dinner from hell. Lynda makes an excellent point when she says, “Even if that story were true, would you do that in public? Would you do that over a dinner party you were hosting? No one would do that, no one!” Well no one, except the Salahis. Stacie mentions the FBI’s alleged involvement and Lynda has the same reaction I did as she bursts out laughing before referring to Tareq as a “whack job.”

In the next scene, we see Mary and her husband Rich confront Lolly with the information they received from the whack job. Lolly denies the accusation and Rich is not happy Tareq attacked his wife. Mary then makes an excellent statement when she states she believes her daughter, but will still be making some calls to the police department to make sure the claims by the whack job are false. I thought it was excellent parenting that Mary trusted her daughter, but was still being responsible by choosing to investigate the claims.

Michaele goes out to eat with hired actress her assistant Jen, during which she makes some of the funniest yet ironic comments known to man. First Michaele refers to Mary, Lynda, and Cat as the wicked stepmother and evil stepsisters, while referring to herself as Cinderella.

“That’s the power of facebook, so be careful. If you’re out there doing crazy things, it’s going to come back,” warns Michaele, who posted photos of she and her husband on her facebook page last year right after crashing the White House dinner party.

Mary and Rich are shown discussing Tareq’s allegations once more, during which Rich, just like the Washington Post article, states that Lolly’s name is not involved in any investigation. “In my opinion, Michaele and Tareq make sh*t up because they want to deflect their own sh*t,” rightfully declares Mary.

Next we see Cat and some lady in drag make up having lunch. We later discover that lady is Edwina Rogers, who Cat describes as one of the most powerful Republican Lobbyists in DC. Fun fact: The Washington Post reports Edwina was an early candidate by Bravo to become a DC Housewife. The conversation between the ladies becomes awkward when they start talking politics. Cat begins her rude shtick, and Edwina, who would likely smile her way through a natural disaster, appears very uncomfortable and ready to change the subject. Cat, who is too self absorbed, fails to notice Edwina’s body language or multiple attempts to change the topic, and continues going on and on about health-care. And despite declaring her love for Bush just weeks ago, Cat lets us know the only way she would become a Republican is if she was six feet under. And I’m certain a light bulb went of in the robotic brain of Edwina upon hearing this.

The Turners decide to have dinner with Lynda and her boyfriend Ebong, during which Stacie shares that her father is a Nigerian native. Ebong just happens to be a Nigerian as well, and gives Stacie some info about the country. In what seems completely out of the left field, Lynda decides to share her tale and struggle with reverse racism, and I think the look on Stacie, Jason, and Ebong’s faces pretty much said it all.

The housewives are shown getting ready for Edwina’s republican party, and we see Cat, who is apparently as much of an attention seeker as she is rude, round up her daughters in an attempt to get ideas on how to dress inappropriately for the party. In her interview, Cat litter ( as appropriately nicknamed by commenter Dyana) says she hopes her inappropriate outfit will help get her uninvited from all future republican parties, you know, because politely declining an invite is simply too tactful for Cat’s standards.

We see the Turners and Michaele‘s hot pink Cinderella dress arrive at the party. The Salahis and the Turners greet each other with no mention of the dinner from hell. In her interview, we see Lynda give us the 160th lesson in DC etiquette this season. “Washington DC has a special etiquette. You can think what you want, but you certainly can’t say it. Not to their face,” states Lynda, while wearing a rather snobbish smirk on her face. Whew! Thank you for that lesson Lynda, because I for one, assumed that etiquette only applied in the red states. And at this point, I’m all but tired of hearing about the asinine etiquette lessons and rules in Washington DC.

Cat makes her attention-seeking appearance at the party wearing an inappropriate but funny Sarah Palin get-up. Her fellow housewives look shocked, with Stacie pondering the appropriateness of the attire, considering her husband works for the White House and all. As the party guests gather around to talk, we find out Edwina can’t make the party due to a medical emergency. My guess is the robotic lobbyist felt some real emotion and lost her sh*t, but that’s just my guess.

Cat decides to confront Jen about the “bitchy” comment she made during the stomping of the store bought grapes. Jen refuses to apologize or back down to Cat, and we see Cat ultimately walk away. I keep noticing that Cat always seems timid, at a lost for words, and taken back when people don’t back down to her. “She wants to give it out, but she can’t take it,” states Michaele about Cat, and I must say I agree with the party crasher, I mean alleged party crasher of course.

To end the episode, Bravo gives us some excellent foreshadow. “In this city honey, your creditability is everything, and once that goes, it’s gone,” says party guest Robert Foster to Michaele.

And as I stated in my first recap for the DC Housewives, I really came into this season giving the Salahis a clean slate, and ready to sympathize with them following the public humiliation they brought on themselves experienced after the White House party crashing fiasco. My take was perhaps these are good people, who made one major error, and had their reputations tarnished nationally.

But boy oh boy was I wrong. I mean to watch the show, and see that their co-stars already hated them before the incident even occurred, and to see that party crashing was a hobby for these gruesome twosome, is quite surreal to watch. At this point, I have zero sympathy for these two, and I must say the party crashing incident and the aftermath couldn’t have happened to a worse better pair.