The Real Housewives of DC Recap: “$100,000 Home Or $12 Million Home”

The 6th episode of the Real Housewives of DC titled “Securing Homeland” (love all the DC puns by the way) aired last night and the above photo of Mary pretty much sums up my reaction throughout this episode.

The episode starts out with Mary and Cat bonding over the topic of their children. Cat, who is now separated from her husband Charles, expresses that she sometimes feels like a single mother because Charles is away often. Mary explains her struggle with trying to keep her daughter Lolly away from her closet, as she brings up the lock she put on it. In her interview, Mary makes it clear that Lolly is completely innocent of being involved in the theft Tareq accused her of. Mary then proudly proclaims the only thing she has to worry about is Lolly breaking into her closet. Must say if keeping Lolly out of her closest is Mary’s biggest issue with her daughter, then Mary should be a happy mother.

In the next scene, the hilarity in the episode begins as we see Michaele calling up Stacie to discuss hiring her as a real estate agent because she and Tareq are ready to fake pretend to want to buy a home, you know, just as long as the cameras are rolling. Stacie mentions in her interview that things with the Salahis are a bit awkward thanks to the Winery dinner from hell, but Stacie is all about her business, and is willing to overlook the overall shadiness of the gruesome twosome.


Was planning to skip the dog training scene with Lynda but had to write about it since Lynda felt the need to mention the fact that her dog trainer also trained the President’s dog. Really? Name dropping for dog trainers? Oh but it gets even better! As the dog trainer then proceeds to mention the fact that the President’s dog is related to the Kennedy’s dog. Really? Now we’re name dropping for the actual dogs! I think I’ve about heard it all at this point with these DC ladies. There seems to be an unspoken competition going on, regarding who can get the closest to the President. I’m guessing in next week’s episode, we will find out Lynda’s sage was grown in Michelle Obama’s gardener’s garden. Lynda once again mentions she has no desire in getting married again.

We see Stacie meeting up with the Salahis at the Four Seasons hotel, during which the smart one makes an intelligent observation. “Tareq loves an extravagant life, but quite honestly, after being at the winery and seeing that while it’s a beautiful property, it’s not operational, where is the money coming from?” Thanks Stacie. As you all know by now the Salahis owe lots and lots of people money. Stacie immediately makes it clear she separates business from pleasure, and that this is the business Stacie.

Immediately, the Salahi’s lie or scam rather, starts to unravel as they inform Stacie they want a home that can host 200 – 250 people. Riiight. Then it gets even better folks! When asked about their price range, Michaele declares it can be within a range of $100,000 to $12 Million. Tareq, probably realizing just how ridonkulous that sounds, attempts to save face by revealing he has a $8 million limit. So you mean to tell me this couple never discussed a price range for the home they want to buy? This entire scene just brings the lols and just about sums up the Salahis. Stacie is smelling the same BS I’m smelling, so she requires the Salahis provide paperwork to verify their assets before she officially begins wasting her time. “The winery is defunct. There’s no way, like do they think I’m stupid?’ asks the smart one in her interview.

Cat is shown in her home, as she reveals she just received some sad news that a good friend has taken his life. In a rare scene, we get to see a human, vulnerable side to the Cat lady. Watching this scene, I can’t help but think part of it was reenacted. My guess is the Bravo cameras were not around when Cat received the actual news. Cat is emotional in her interview, as she shares that her husband Charles is not around to comfort her so she has to turn to her kids.

Next, we see Lynda and Mary paying a visit to Lynda’s new home, a home I imagine the Salahis can only dream of being able to afford someday. Lynda is giddy that she and Mary are becoming neighbors, before springing out the sage to “clear the energy of the past” and kudos to the folks at Bravo for playing the loony music to go along with this scene. Funny scene overall.

Next, we see the return of the white stretch limo (feel free to cue the horror music). Stacie joins the gruesome twosome as they window shop for homes. Michaele, acting like a giddy school girl, points to a home and says: “Who lives there? I like that one!” Stacie, doing her best grade school teacher impersonation, has to tell the moron, “I don’t know who lives there, it’s not for sale.” Stacie, who’s becoming increasingly wary about the situation, says in her interview that the Salahis have yet to provide her with proof that they can afford the homes they are shopping for. Stacie reveals she wants to protect herself, and will not be moving forward with the Salahis until they provide proof of their assets. We all have to realize this was filmed a year ago, before the Salahis “allegedly” crashed the White House dinner party, and before their shady background and lack of finances was exposed in the press.

The Turners are gathered in their kitchen and Jason brings up the issue of finding Stacie’s father. Stacie reveals that her birth mother is still in contact with her birth father, despite refusing to give her any information about him. Something about the actions of Stacie’s birth mother is just so incredibly selfish. I’m guessing Stacie’s father is unaware of her existence, and Stacie’s mother is simply looking to protect herself. Jason wants Stacie to contact her biological brother on facebook while Stacie’s a bit unsure. During the conversation, their son walks in, and unlike Danielle Staub on the Real Housewives of NJ, the Turners decide not to involve their child in an adult issue. By the end of the conversation, Stacie agrees to have Jason contact her brother.

The ladies, sans Stacie and Michaele, attend a men’s fashion show put together by Lynda’s modeling agency. And we learn a new rule about DC in this scene, evidently men’s fashion show equals male strip club in DC. The dancing shots of Mary Amons? Simply Priceless! Must say Mary looks like a drunken ball of fun.

What happens next is rather odd, and just a bit sad and uncomfortable to watch. I definitely didn’t see this coming, especially not from Cat. Lynda’s ex Christopher comes to the ladies’ table to say hello, and Cat immediately informs Christopher that he is dressed exactly like her recently deceased friend Phil. Perhaps not sensing the awkwardness of the situation, Cat continues on and eventually bursts into tears while comparing the two men. Christopher is the perfect gentleman as he actually comforts Cat. I was a bit torn on this scene. On one hand, it was nice to see a vulnerable side to Cat once again, while on the other hand, I felt it was rather inappropriate for Cat to unload on a total stranger.

And judging from the looks of Christopher, it’s rather obvious Lynda is a professional sugar mama has a “thing” for younger men.

Cat is at home, and her 11-year-old daughter Jade walks in from school. Jade informs Cat about her good grade on her math test, and Cat gives her a quick well done, as she has something more important to talk about. Cat opens up about the fashion show situation, before telling Jade that she has decided not to attend the UK funeral of Phil. Perhaps I’m reading too much into this scene, but something about this was giving me Danielle Staub and that whole involving her young children in adult issues. Oddly enough, both ladies have two daughters. Plus Cat’s comment about being her daughters’ friends, and having been through a lot with them just re-affirmed my feelings on the issue. At this stage in her daughters’ lives, I don’t think Cat needs to be BFFs with them.

The Turners and the Amons meet up for dinner, and the topic of Tareq’s behavior at the dinner from hell is brought up. Mary gives a special thanks to Jason for defending her in the absence of her husband. And from watching this scene and previous scenes, I can’t help but just adore the Turners. There’s just something nice and “normal” about them. Mary reveals she knows people who grew up with Tareq and that he was a punk, who was sent to military school during his youth. Mary also believes Michaele is lost and and in a co-dependent relationship, something I absolutely agree with. Something about Michaele is giving me Heidi Montag. She just seems a little dead behind the eyes, and looks to be attempting to fill that void with material things. Unfortunately for Michaele, her prince charming came with a lot of debt and baggage. Plus I can’t feel too sorry for Michaele as she is just as much of a con artist as her husband.

In the final scene of the show, the Salahis are shown having a nice quiet time on the winery, which ultimately gets interrupted by the sounds of cop sirens. I’m almost tempted to say the phony Salahis planned out this drama, but ultimately, I believe they had nothing to do with this one. It appears Tareq’s mom called the cops to try to remove him from the winery property. Michaele appears fed up with the situation, saying this is the one issue in her life that she cannot fix. “I’ve stayed because I love Tareq, and I got in it for better or worse,” says a tearful Michaele, in probably what is the only genuine emotion she has shown all season, and likely the only genuine statement she has made all season.

Watch What Happens Live: Cat and Ramona Singer appeared as guests on WWHL last night. One would automatically assume it would be an awesome show with the two very outspoken ladies, but thanks to Cat, who acted like she had her knickers in a bunch, it was a bit on the not so interesting side. The most memorable part of the show came when Cat tried to blame editing for coming across as a rude and obnoxious British lady. Fortunately, Ramona quickly shut her down, stating that Jill Zarin tried to blame editing as well.