The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Not Enough Auto-Tune

If there’s one thing we learned from episode 10 of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, it is that Atlanta don’t got talent. With that said, let’s get to the recap!

The episode begins with Kim Zolciak talking to her lesbian lover DJ Tracy Young on the phone. Though the lesbian relationship was a hot topic in the season premiere episode, we had yet to see or hear Tracy until now. “Tracy’s a DJ and I met her because she wanted to remix Tardy For The Party… And we had sex. Ok great. Quiver,” are the words of the woman who recently purchased an abstinence ring for her teenage daughter. We find out Kim wants Tracy to come around and protect her from the big bad voice coach known as Jan. Tracy agrees to come around and the two ladies end their phone convo.

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Following the trends of story lines that have been abandoned since the premiere episode, it seems one of the Bravo producers reminded Sheree about her acting passion as we see Sheree and her muscles meeting up with her acting coach Kristen. Kristen wants Sheree to take her passion to the next level by doing a play and getting an agent. Upon hearing about the play, Sheree shows no enthusiasm, and upon hearing about the agent news, she shows even less enthusiasm much to the surprise of Kristen, who doesn’t realize Sheree’s acting is simply a Bravo storyline. Sheree is informed the play doesn’t pay and decides she will have to think about it as she has some “grown ass bills.”

Next is a home scene with the passive Cynthia and her fiance Peter. Bravo seems to have a formula, which is that every Housewives franchise must have the obligatory douche boyfriend or husband. Judging from this scene, Peter seems to be working overtime to fill this position for the Atlanta series. As Cynthia chats on the phone with pal Nene, we see Peter complaining about the time she spends on the phone. “Tell her you’ll call her back,” demands Peter and Cynthia immediately obliges and ends the conversation with Nene. In her interview Cynthia tries to defend her man by stating that he is stressed out about his restaurant. While I can understand Peter wanting more time with Cynthia, I did think his attitude and the way he went about it was rather rude. Interesting relationship between these two.

It is now time for some good ol fashioned torture as Kim heads to the studio with lesbian lover Tracy, for some singing lessons with Jan. “She’s like my biggest fan,” says Kim when introducing Tracy to Jan. “I’m not a fan. I’m a friend. There’s a difference,” retorts Tracy. Why Kim felt the need to call Tracy a “fan” is beyond me as this was taped weeks after she sold her coming out story to a national tabloid magazine. Kim steps into the booth and proceeds to attack our eardrums. At this point, the tone deaf singing is not so much funny, but simply torturous. Who needs waterboarding when you have Kim Zolciak’s raw singing voice. Thank heavens for auto-tune. The only good part about this scene? Jan’s condescending attitude towards Kim.

It’s now time for a sadder scene as Bravo cues up the sad music. Nene‘s friend Diana pays her a visit to check up on her following the audiogate fiasco involving Gregg. Despite feeling down and out, Nene still made certain to apply a generous amount of blush, for the audience at home. The topic turns to Cynthia and Nene voices her unhappiness regarding Peter’s complaints of Cynthia talking on the phone too much with her. “I can’t stand women who listen to men like that. That drives me insane. It’s like really, are you a puppet?” aks Nene. And I must say I agree with her though I was surprised to see her talking about her good friend Cynthia in that manner.

It’s that special time of the episode as we get some comic relief from the Nidas. On the table today is another photo shoot with the hippy photographer. Lucky for us, there are no pickles involved this time. Just an innocent adorable baby boy. Before the photo shoot begins, we do see a sweeter side of Phaedra as she gifts her hubby Apollo with not one but two gifts. A nice watch and a nicer framed picture of Apollo and baby Ayden. “I like getting gifts,” says Apollo, sounding like a young man who just received a gift from his sugar mama. Oddly enough, this gift giving scene is the most chemistry or affection we’ve seen between Apollo and Phaedra.

The creepy photographer lady arrives and the photo shoot with Ayden, who is in his birthday suit, begins. Almost immediately, the cute one has an accident and shoots out poop all over his mother. Me thinks Ayden was trying to send a clear message to his momma to stop with the ridiculous photo shoots. Phaedra keeps her cool for the most part, and for a minute there, I was starting to like this nicer, sweeter Phaedra. But Phaedra ruins the moment when she states in her interview that’s she’s never been up close and personal with Ayden’s poop because “he would normally save that for Apollo and his diaper changing time.” Nice to have the old Phaedra back. The mess is cleaned and the photo shoot continues. At least we got to see a shirtless Apollo.

Following her one session of singing lessons, it is now time for Kim to record her follow up to the classic hit of TFTP. Kandi is in the studio with Kim as they wait for Kim’s singing coach Jan. Kandi wants Kim to put together an act for her performance on her promo tour and Kim agrees to put something together. “After my great session with Jan, I feel great. I feel like I’m gonna kill it in the studio,” states Kim before stepping inside the booth. She killed it all right, our eardrums that is. And once again, we hear Kandi complaining about Kim’s talent or lack there of in her interview. “I didn’t see the growth,” she says. And I ask, what growth was Kandi expecting? SHE CAN’T SING! Jan’s a voice coach, not a miracle worker.

While in the booth, we hear Kim use every excuse in the book for why she is tone deaf. It’s the heat, I can’t see Kandi’s face, my nails are not the right color, it has yet to rain today, and so on and so on. Thankfully, Bravo shows us some mercy and cuts away from this studio scene.

Sheree, along with her acting coach, head to do an audition for a talent agency. As she rehearses her lines in the waiting room, it’s starting to become more obvious that Sheree’s acting is the equivalent of Kim’s singing. While in the room with the talent agents, Sheree reveals she has done two plays in the past though she cannot recall the name of one of the plays. It’s now time to audition and for some reason, Sheree feels good acting requires long pauses. I’m no acting expert but these lines seemed rather simple. At this point, I’m trying to figure out which is more painful – Kim’s “singing” or Sheree’s “acting”?

It’s the day of the random car racing and the ladies arrive for the event. We find out Sheree will be racing Kandi in her Aston Martin (which has now been seized), and I again wonder why Sheree is driving such as expensive car while owing money to attorneys and private investigators. The hot topic of the day seems to be the presence of DJ Tracy. In an awkward scene, we see Sheree grilling Tracy, trying to get information about her relationship with Kim. Kim is unhappy, not sure why, and orders her assistant Sweetie to immediately go and snatch Tracy away from the conversation. Both Sweetie and Tracy oblige to Kim’s wishes. Why bring Tracy around if you don’t want your business or relationship out there? Once again, this was taped after Kim revealed her intimate relationship details with Tracy in a national magazine.

Nene arrives and immediately feels she is getting the cold shoulder from her crush Peter. The race begins and ends in what seems like a couple of seconds. Sheree wins and Kandi wants a rematch as she feels she lost due to a misunderstanding. The event ends and we see Peter and Cynthia driving home. Peter admits he wasn’t in a great mood at the race because he would rather have been at his restaurant. Peter and Cynthia also feel Nene wasn’t her typical self at the event and right on cue, Nene calls Cynthia. Nene asks to talk to Peter and confronts him about acting cold towards her.

Nene gets loud and argumentative with Peter who for the most part keeps his cool though he did get a little angry, thus the Jamaican accent coming out. Following the phone conversation, Cynthia, who might or might not be a people pleaser, defends Nene stating that she is simply going through a difficult time. Peter doesn’t back down and Cynthia feels caught in the middle between her fiance and her friend. I must say I thought Nene was the one out of line in this scene. The way she confronted Peter was rude and combative. I’m surprised Peter didn’t completely lose his cool. Perhaps the reason Peter and Nene don’t get along is because they are two birds of the same feather.

TELL US – WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE RECAP & LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? WHICH IS WORSE, KIM’S SINGING OR SHEREE’S ACTING?

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