Mob Wives

Last night’s Mob Wives episode was all about loyalty – and drinking. It was also about how having drinks with a girlfriend and loyalty do not often mix well if you are Karen Gravano. The episode also focused on what else: Renee Graziano’s loyalty to the lifestyle, loyalty to friendships and family, how Drita D’avanzo betrayed her, and whether or not it is worth it to stay connected to her past. Oh, and how she and Karen are now practically family again. As for Carla Facciolo, well she was pretty invisible again this episode, but her storyline was about family also.

The day after the Mob bust – and after a terrible day, in her own words, “Renee needs a drink.” We find out Junior is already out on bail and is likely only looking at 18 months for gambling (wait – isn’t that legal?) Renee expresses her frustration about the cycle of dealing with prison again and not being part of a normal family, because: “There’s always somebody missing to the federal f*cking government,” Renee doesn’t want that life anymore, but it is just so difficult to break away. By the way – did you see those amazing fur boots Renee had on? Girl definitely likes her fur from head to toe. After all, nothing says “bitch, I’ve arrived,” mafia-style like fur as we were taught last week in Renee’s Mob Wives 101 class.



Drita decides to apologize to Renee, via text message, about what happened at Carla‘s party and because she was a no-show at Renee’s house after Junior was arrested. They decide to do dinner to catch up and talk it out. Good problem solving skills ladies; less brass knuckles, more hugs.

Drita and Karen do a mafia classic and talk things out over sangria. The topic of the day is of course: Renee! Miss Mafia, herself! Drita realizes that all of the sudden Karen and Renee are very close and now Drita is on the outs with Renee. Uh-oh… While discussing how Drita wasn’t there for Renee after Junior was arrested, Karen lets us know that if she had to choose sides between her friends in a battle, she would take Renee’s side because of loyalty issues. In case you weren’t aware, Karen is still mad that Drita married her ex-boyfriend, Lee. *Sigh* Karen – high school called – they want to know if you’ll be in class tomorrow. Get over it! The man is in prison anyways.

After leaving Drita’s house Karen goes and hangs out with the friend she likes better: Renee (who remember she hated two weeks ago). Renee announces that the door is open, because she is getting braver in her old age. So Karen comes in and has a drink with Renee and they talk about Miss Golden Gloves 2011: Drita. After a drink or two and right before Renee is about to leave for dinner with Drita, Karen decides it’s the perfect time to stir the witches brew and remind Renee that Drita threatening to “snap her dumb twat neck” at Carla’s party while in a drunken rage. And of COURSE, drama queen, overly emotional Renee is instantly incensed over this and cancels dinner by calling Drita while dinner was supposed to be happening, saying she doesn’t want to talk to people who don’t respect her. Le sigh.

I have to hand it to her – good job being honest. See, if this were Housewives we were recapping there would have been some fake reason for canceling and lots of passive aggressive back-stabbing and six episodes later the truth would come out. Anyways, after confronting Drita and letting her know how she feels, Renee then does what she does best: freak out! She starts ranting about how Drita’s incarcerated hubby (and Karen’s prized ex-boyfriend) isn’t even a “real bankrobber.” Wait – if he stole money from banks – isn’t he a bank robber? Am I missing something? Renee sums things up by saying: “If you wanna play Mafia Wars – I win, hands down b*tch!” while Karen sits there smirking, finally interjecting to remind us that No – she might win Mafia Wars. You know, I think I have that game on Facebook too. So yeah – three can play! And I actually might win.

Then Carla finally appears and brings us away from games and back to reality by explaining her difficulties being a single parent, illustrating this are the scenes of her kids cussing and being really out of control and disrespectful to her– particularly her son, Jo-Jo. Carla and her husband are both powerless to control them, as her husband Joe tries to reprimand Joseph from over the phone demanding that he respect his “mutha” while Joseph talks back and ignores his parents. He’s not acting out or anything (eye roll). Carla accurately explains that it’s hard on the kids when the father goes “away” and that her son Joseph is out of control and really needs his father – not just as a voice on the phone. Later Carla’s mother visits and thinks there is absolutely no reason for Carla’s children to know where their father really is. She is also completely blasé about his imprisonment saying he isn’t a bad guy just because he is incarcerated, which may be true except he is definitely bad enough to break the law and associate with the mafia! Details, Schmetails!

At Drita’s house while she is getting ready, she realizes Renee has canceled on her after getting a voicemail and I noticed another security monitor in her bedroom. Paranoid much? Drita complains about needing a “Renee Mood Ring” to decipher what Renee is feeling, because no one ever knows what Renee’s feelings about someone are going to be, making Drita feel like a “yo-yo.” She brushes it off and calls Carla for a drink instead since she is already dressed to go out. They have a drink and talk about Drita snapping when she’s angry and the Renee/Drita fight. You know, something new. Carla is annoyed because she wants to stop hearing about this already – um, yeah… you and me both, Carla.

While they are complaining about Renee’s drama queen antics, Renee is complaining to her therapist – Oh no – more therapy! More frustrations about wanting to leave the life and being stuck there, more martyr complex. I sighed out loud when this came on the screen. Her therapist tells her about saying no, co-dependence, etc, etc, etc – I have to admit I was kind of tuning out. Whoever the Reality TV gods are out there, I hope you are reading this! NO MORE FAKE THERAPY ON REALITY TV, please!

Renee is having a “Psychic Party,” because psychics are very popular in Staten Island. Interesting… Karen and Carla are invited, but not Drita. Carla wants Drita to come as her guest, but Drita is, smartly, not taking the bait. Carla also channels her own inner psychic by predicting that she thinks she will be on the outs with Renee next once her and Drita make up. Renee is very into psychics because and even though women know their own present and future, they need to be told by someone else what the future holds, rather than trying to recognize it themselves. Somehow her teenaged son AJ gets thrown into the mix to receive a reading – poor AJ. Why is he at a party with a bunch of drunk middle-aged women? Renee’s reading encourages her to re-evaluate old relationships to determine who stays and who goes and let go of the past. Renee decides that in order to get away from the lifestyle she needs a “clean break” from Junior. The psychic also lets Renee know she has a problem with “girl friends” (aka Drita D’avanzo) and Renee, decides she should try to make amends with Drita.

So, Renee and Drita decide to meet for dinner and this time Renee shows up. I couldn’t figure out if they were arguing or having a discussion, anyways eventually they come to some sort of understanding, Drita apologizes, and every thing is roses again. Afterall, friends are important in the mafia because all the men are in jail. To seal the friendship reconnection, Renee orders a drink called a “Crazy Mama” and thankfully the irony is NOT lost on her. This show makes the mafia look like the least appealing life ever.

Then there is more meeting for drinks as new besties Karen and Renee go out wearing their best friends forever broken heart necklaces, talking about manis and pedis, when some drunk weirdo comes over and asks if he can show Karen pictures of his ‘boy parts’ (obviously he used a far more graphic word, but I’m trying to be family friendly over here). Renee, ready to go to war for her BFF, gets in his face and lets her crazy mama side come out (I’m beginning to think “crazy mama” is Renee’s dominant personality). Renee’s wants an apology and when he refuses, her rebuttal to the loser: “Do you know who I am? Watch Jerkoff!” yelling about how he is disrespecting her, etc. And before the guy can even walk away to escape the crazies, the newly reformed former mafia princess calls her ex-husband Junior to come down and knock some sense into him. The poor restaurant staff is silently praying for Karen and Renee to just go away. Too late! Junior is on his way. Hopefully the restaurant has its rosary beads ready.

The ladies pull a Danielle Staub and wait in the parking lot for back-up. Karen is repeatedly trying to be the rational one and Renee begins to regret calling the out on bail Junior to show up to threaten this guy, realizing he already has a rap sheet as tall as she is. Renee goes from obsessing about some loser needing to apologize to her to obsessing about why she called Junior. Eventually Junior shows up and talks to the guy, but because this is TV and it would be really damning evidence, he demands that the cameras leave during their friendly little chat. Anyways, whatever Junior said worked – the guy apologized and all’s well that ends well, because now Renee feels vindicated in her decision to call her ex saying: “I bet that mutha f*cker knows exactly who I am now.” Karen is right when she says it would take an “exorcist” to get Renee away from the mafia princess mentality. Because for Renee, the lifestyle represents important things: trust, loyalty, respect… what?! Are we watching the same show? And now she is right back where she started feeling like the mafia life is amazing. Oh, Renee…

Next week: Drita gets trashed and we find out Carla has a boyfriend?! Lee and Drita have a fight with Karen over her book.

Do you think Renee will ever leave the mafia? Are Renee and Karen friends again for real or do you think they will have another huge blow out? Who is Drita going to beat up next?

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