It’s the drink toss heard round the world on last night’s season finale of Basketball Wives. Poor Tamra Barney has nothing on Eric Williams when it comes to dousing someone with a cocktail. Last night’s episode mainly featured Jen’s divorce party, with the majority of the women playing supporting roles.

Royce arrives for her meeting to clear the air with Jen, and chaperone Suzie informs her that Jen has left already, unable to forgive Royce for the twitter battles she’s been waging. Royce loves that Jen can dish it, but she can’t take it. According to Royce, her mean tweets (are you there Simon? It’s me, Royce.) are just in response to the other girls smack talk. She begins reading some of Jen’s hypocritical twittersations to Suzie who is trying super hard to look busy with her appetizer. Suzie is this close to being in good with the other ladies…the last thing she needs is for Royce to remind her that she is still friends with her. Royce is indifferent to Jen’s opinion of her.


Shaunie is in Los Angeles pimping Basketball Wives: LA because she really has a calling…to create a line of fabulous shoes that the everyday woman (ie, not the ex-wives/girlfriends of multimillionaire basketball players) can afford. She meets with Chinese Laundry to discuss her endeavor. I personally love that Shaunie has distanced herself from the other ladies ever since their return from Italy. She really does hate the drama. Sure, she does.

Jen and Suzie go shopping for a cake for Jen’s big divorce party. The cake designer at the bakery is excited about the prospect of creating the cake, although she seems to be forcing a smile when Suzie suggests a beheaded Eric. The ladies try different cake flavors and decide to fashion the divorce cake after a wedding cake, but instead of a traditional bride and groom cake-topper, it’s just the bride holding the groom’s head. Yum!

Chad comes home to Evelyn who is reeling after spying on Chad dining with a lady friend at his favorite restaurant. Instead of immediately flying off the handle, she waits to see if Chad will ‘fess up to his lunch date. She asks where he’s been, and he tells her. She asks who he was with, and the boy has to know he’s been caught. “Just a friend from the past.” Bad move, Chad…now you look like you have something to hide. “Does your friend have a [insert lady part’s nickname here]?” She is upset that she doesn’t know his friends, and he counters with, well you know me, right? I thought maybe Chad was heading in the right direction as far as appeasing Evelyn until he says, so I’m supposed to cancel out all the girls I’ve slept with? Um, yes. That is exactly what she expects you to do.

Chad doesn’t seem to understand why he can’t just be friends with his former flings. Does she want him sneaking around? You can’t just keep your man in a cocoon, Evelyn. She knows the games these hos play. Chad wonders why it matters if he refuses to play their games. It comes back to Evelyn feeling humiliated because of the public nature of their relationship and Chad not giving two flips. Evelyn is worried she’ll lose it on one of these women and end up in jail. “End up in jail? You ain’t no thug!” Preach it, Chad. He then gives a sly smile and apologizes. It’s game over for Evelyn…all is forgiven…especially after he requests sex.

Evelyn joins Jen for some wine at her post-marriage condo. The two discuss the upcoming divorce party, and Jen reveals that she is just, you know, going to meet with Eric, because, you know, he’s dragging his feet regarding their divorce, and she’s, you know, moving on with her life. Jen is excited about the party and all the guests. She hopes that Shaunie will make it back from Los Angeles…and I’m hoping the basketball hoops hanging from Evelyn’s ears don’t rip through her lobes.

Shaunie’s shoe deal gets a big thumbs up from Chinese Laundry, and she’s excited about her new business endeavor, especially because of the traveling that will be involved. It’s a 30 second conversation with her manager, and poof! She’s gone again.

Eric meets with a business associate to discuss how his life is transitioning. His friend seems to think he needs to go ahead and make the divorce transition. Eric claims to be waiting on the paperwork from Jen’s dream team of lawyers. Hmmm…someone isn’t quite telling the truth. Jen claims she’s waiting on him, and he says he’s waiting on her. Eric just wants his last name back and for the proceedings to quit lingering…his friend doesn’t seem to buy his bravado–or at least I don’t. People better dig that Eric’s the one that got Jen on the show, and they better dig that he’s the one who made her relevant. He digs a lot about private banks and her leaving him dangling. I’m wondering why Shaunie the producers decided that this was the one conversation where he didn’t need subtitles.

Jen’s primping for her divorce party with some bright red lips. Evelyn joins her for some pre-party champagne and Jen is primed and ready for some male attention. She has the tiny mini-dress and condoms to prove it. Evelyn is a bit shocked at her premeditation, but proud that Jen is going to be getting some tail.

The party’s starting at the club, and it’s our first glimpse of Tami this episode. Shaunie also made it back from the west coast in time for the bash, and Suzie needs to acquaint herself with a strapless bra. The ladies marvel over the cake, which is nothing short of awesome. The cake groom’s head is a perfect replica of Eric, right down to the bump on its forehead. Al Reynolds shows up and toasts the ladies. Last week’s dinner date William shows up, and Jen is giddy while the other ladies look on like middle school girls in the cafeteria. After a request from Shaunie to see more of his tattoos, he takes off his shirt for the crew, and Jen leads him off for a make-out session.

The party is in full swing, and Al wheels out a piñata modeled after Eric. It is hilarious! William helps Jen whack the poo out of it, and out come condoms, candy, cash, and lube. I hope the candy was wrapped. Tami says she was going for the dollars while everyone else was scurrying for the contraceptives. It’s time to cut the cake, and no one should have given Jen a butcher knife. She goes to town on cake groom’s basketball covered genitalia (she reveals Eric’s stuff didn’t work, and that’s why she’s getting divorced) before resuming her make-out with William. Tami is happy for Jen for getting some action, because, to quote her, quoting Evelyn, “Jen had the Sahara going on down there.”

What’s the logical thing to do after a divorce party? Meet your future ex-husband for dinner, of course! Eric attempts to lay on the charm, and then they quickly get into a conversation about how disrespectful Jen was to Eric’s mother. Jen wants to know why he hasn’t responded to her attorney’s correspondence. What? Who are her attorneys? Well, I think he established earlier he knows they are the dream team, so I’m confused. Jen asks Eric about the text message he sent 48 hours earlier professing his love for her. The pair gets into a heated argument and she sarcastically compares him to Brad Pitt for wanting to make a movie with Royce. Eric disses Jen stating she’s three years away from 40, and as he storms off she tosses a drink after him…but he’s a good ways away from her so he only gets a little drenched. That gets his attention and he comes back and tells her she’d better be very careful before pitching a full drink right in her face from two inches away. And scene. What, no “where are they now” updates? Weak sauce, VH1. We have to wait until next week’s reunion to see what happens next.


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