Silver bells, silver bells! It’s Christmas time on Teen Mom. Amber deals with a tragedy from the past, while Maci can’t decide whether to drop out of school. Catelynn receives a surprise visit from her long-gone father, while Farrah tours Arizona with her family.

Amber and her old friend/new boyfriend Clinton are decorating her new house for Christmas. Clark Griswald called, and he’d like to borrow that inflatable Christmas tree. Gary sends Amber a video text of Leah attempting to use the potty (really Gar?) while a huge bouquet is delivered from her “wink, wink” secret admirer. Amber looks lovingly at Clinton for pulling off such a romantic gesture, but he’s cursing Gary’s name for upstaging him…Clinton apparently did not send the flowers. As any sweet girlfriend would do, Amber calls her ex, putting him on speaker phone so her new dude can hear. Gary asks, “Did your day just get better? That’s five dozen roses.” WTF Gary? Stop spending your hard-earned MTV money at the Bunny Ranch and FTD! Put that cash aside for Leah! “Five doz? They are so heavy,” responds a dazed Amber.


Well, Gary knows broke a$$ Clinton couldn’t have afforded them, and he wanted to do something nice. Clinton, who has been rolling his eyes repeatedly, cannot contain his anger. He grabs the phone away from Amber and cusses out Gary, threatening to beat him up…good luck with that. It would be like Peewee Herman challenging a Sumo wrestler. Amber just smirks, although I’m unsure if she’s smiling at Clinton’s assertiveness on her behalf or Gary’s gesture…maybe a bit of both. I swear she and Clinton are about to make-out as he hangs up on Gary. N to the Asty.

Maci and Kyle are entertaining Bentley by dressing as Woody and Buzz Lightyear (respectively) from Toy Story. Kyle doesn’t look at all creepy. Maci gets a text from Ryan that says, “Tell your boyfriend that we need an new person at work.” I apologize for last week’s assumption–I could have sworn he said “Tell your boyfriend to meet a new person at work.” I guess in hindsight the latter wouldn’t make sense as Kyle is unemployed. Maci encourages Kyle to consider Ryan’s offer so she can have more opportunities to “accidentally” run into her ex be a stay-at-home-mom. Maci really doesn’t want to go back to college. Seriously? What happened to this chick?

Farrah and her mother are helping Sophia make a gingerbread house. Farrah has decided that California isn’t her cup of tea, so she now wants to move to Arizona. Farrah wants her parents to join her on her tour of the state. Her parents express concern over childcare for Sophia if the pair moves, but they are met with snide back talk from Farrah. Her mother then resorts to trying to scare Farrah about all the illegal immigration and gang violence prevalent in the state where she wants to move. Dear MTV, Arizona called. It’s hoping Farrah’s mom will do a commercial for the state tourism board.

Catelynn and Tyler are moving into a bigger, less expensive apartment, and Catelynn gets a call from her absentee father. He’s going to be in the area next weekend for a job interview and would love a free place to crash to meet Tyler. Catelynn counts her dad as her “stable” parent above April and step-dad Butch, even though she hasn’t seen him in over four years. She can’t wait to see him, and Tyler is equally excited to meet his fiancee’s dad.

Maci knows she needs to decide about college, but she’s more consumed with Ryan’s text about Kyle. She meets with a friend to discuss it. Maci thinks Ryan’s job for Kyle is on the night shift, and she’d rather Kyle not work at all than work nights. I want to shake her. People are struggling to find work, but she doesn’t want Kyle to take a job that would inconvenience her busy schedule of not working, not going to school and dropping off Bentley at day care? Meanwhile, in the real world, Catelynn and Tyler invite friends over to their new place, and Tyler discusses his aspirations to work with foster children so he can help out those in need. ARE YOU LISTENING, MACI???

Farrah and family are heading to Arizona, and she’s enunciating more than usual when speaking about “good nay bor hoods in Air ah zoh na.” They haven’t gotten through baggage check-in and her parents are already “ah noy ing.” Tell me about it, free childcare, financial support and general kindness is such a drag.

Amber is mourning the loss of her infant sister fifteen years ago, and her sadness is compiled by her absence from Leah. She and Gary seem to be pretty mature in creating a mutually agreed upon schedule for the holidays. While Leah and another toddler play unsupervised with very breakable ornaments, Gary explains to his friend how hard it is to have a relationship with Amber. He doesn’t know how to be her friend, because he’s always been used to being her boyfriend. Am I sensing some inklings towards adulthood? I won’t hold my breath.

Catelynn picks up her dad and is over the moon to see him. Tyler also gives him a very warm welcome. These kids are so genuine. Catelynn shows her father around their apartment while Tyler registers for college courses. They are like the Norman Rockwell of Teen Mom.

Before hitting the real estate war path in Arizona, Farrah and her parents take Sophia to the train museum. Farrah’s mother isn’t keen on checking out condos–she’d rather be hiking. Farrah isn’t thrilled when her folks start looking at places that aren’t in Farrah’s designated areas. Granted, her parents are showing her places out of her price range, so that is a waste of time, but good gracious she is shrill and whiny.

Ryan Ryan’s mom comes to pick up Bentley from Maci’s house, and Maci and Kyle head to her home to get some advice from her mother. Maci’s mom agrees with what I’m assuming will be the majority of viewers in her thinking that it was super weird for Ryan to contact Kyle about a job. And speaking of jobs, Catelynn’s father is finished with his job interview and the couple takes him out to dinner. Tyler reveals that he tried to call Catelynn’s father to ask permission to propose (awww! LOVE), but he had the wrong number. Tyler had to ask April instead. Catelynn’s dad appreciates his effort and is thrilled his daughter is so happy.

Farrah’s mother is nothing but negative about the places she can afford. The neighborhoods are “awful” and “hellholes” and “places Farrah’s car will get stripped.” Remind me never to invite Farrah’s mother over to my house. She’d probably insist on carrying a taser and a billy club.

Over breakfast Catelynn and Tyler fill her dad in on their hopes to have Carly at their graduation. They also express their concern about Butch and April’s interactions with Carly if that happens. The trio looks at photos of their last visit with Carly. Catelynn’s father commends the couple on their decision to place their daughter up for adoption, but he also expresses regret that he won’t get to meet her anytime soon.

Amber turns to her cousin for support as she struggles with the loss of her sister. She calls Gary who is putting up a tree with Leah. Amber can’t believe he would do that without her and breaks down in tears. Apparently they had agreed they would create those traditions together. Gary, feeling badly, invites her over to help. It’s important for Leah to see her parents trying to get along.

Ryan has Bentley on a mini-four wheeler, while Maci tries to decide what to do about school. She calls her academic advisor to see if she she take a break for a semester. He basically tells her that her plan is stupid and sounds like it was born out of sheer laziness. Ding ding ding! Kyle seems to kind of agree, and it looks like Maci’s dreams of being a stay-at-home-mom have been dashed…at least for now.

Back in Arizona, Farrah and her parents are exhausted after a day of house hunting. Her mom and Michael dad are trying to give her advice, and it erupts into an argument over how little her parents do for her. Really? I get her folks are getting on her nerves. It must be frustrating that they want her to live in safer neighborhoods that she can’t afford (and I mean no sarcasm in that statement…for once), but she is one disrespectful chick. My parents wouldn’t have joined me in Arizona…they would have helped my pouty self pack my bags, wished me luck, and sent me on my clueless way…and I would have been better for it. Farrah clearly needs a wake-up call. Back at the hotel, things are tense. Farrah requests a counseling session, but she does it with a lot eye-rolling and hair flipping…daring her parents to challenge her seemingly well thought out plan. Her mom just seems sad that Farrah is so eager to move so far away from her family.

It’s time for Catelynn’s dad to head back home. The couple drops him off at the airport. Tyler enjoyed seeing Catelynn’s relationship with her father, and he was glad to finally meet him. Catelynn sheds more light on her on-and-off relationship with her father. Amber arrives at Gary’s to help Leah trim the tree. Leah is enthralled by the lights, but I am wondering how long it is before Affliction starts paying Gary not to wear its clothing. Leah goes to bed, and the two have some alone time. Amber breaks down discussing her sister, and Gary, in a rare moment, seems to offer genuine support and comfort. Cue the depressing music…and scene.

Next week, Amber is in the thick of her CPS case, and Farrah scraps her Arizona move to head to Florida. Sounds like she’s really got a plan in place. Maci struggles with school while Kyle shatters his knee. Catelynn and Tyler’s relationship is tested (NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!).


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