Basketball Wives LA Recap: The Sixteenth I Dos and Waxing Hoohoos

On last night’s episode of Basketball Wives LA, it was the wedding of the year for Jackie and Doug Christie. Literally, as they marry every. flipping. year. Gloria’s players get waxed on the court, while Draya just gets waxed, and Imani forges a friendship with Malaysia.

Laura Govan and Jackie Christie meet for an afternoon cocktail, because that seems to be the staple gathering for the L.A. wives/pseudo-wives/girlfriends/exes. Jackie admits to Laura that in addition to the fifteen (with one to grow on) weddings she’s had with Doug, she was married three times prior to him. Jackie wants Laura’s self-confidence to grow after her recent split, and she hopes telling her of the three men who walked down the aisle before Doug’s fifteen times will help Laura realize that the right man is out there for her.


Imani Showalter and Malaysia Pargo go get gelato, and of course, Imani has a lot to say (behind the back, of course) of her sorbet partner. Malaysia feels that the ladies are bonding, while Imani thinks her “friend” is too overdressed for ice cream. Imani tells Malaysia that she left home at fourteen and has been taking care of herself ever since, and she sheds a tiny little bit of light on her break up with Stephen Jackson. Imani leaves the day date feeling better about her friendship with Malaysia.

Jackie and Doug tell their two children about Jackie’s mother’s condition. She reveals that the cancer has gotten worse and her mom will not be able to attend their sixteenth ceremony in person. Her son volunteers to Skype in his grandmother, and it is nice to see the warm family dynamic, even in light of such tragic circumstances.

Much like her sister Laura, Gloria Govan doesn’t just love ballers, she is one herself. She grew up playing basketball and recently started coaching a high school girls’ varsity team. Her Lakers fiancé Matt Barnes will be joining their practice, as will Jackie’s husband Doug Christie. Gloria compares herself to Indiana University’s Bobby Knight, and I am instantly terrified. As the daughter of a Hoosier, I know all about Bobby Knight and his crazy, chair-throwing ways. Growing up he was kind of revered in our home. If Gloria has his temper, I’m skeered.

After her break-up, Laura is downsizing, and she takes Imani up on her offer for some storage space. Imani is under the assumption that she will housing a few boxes for her friend, but Laura has a moving van’s worth of stuff. Laura confides in Imani how hard her former lavish lifestyle was because of her volatile relationship. She’s ready for a fresh start, even if we viewers know that fresh start now involves an engagement to her ex Gilbert Arenas.

Draya Michele is doing a photo shoot for a magazine cover. It’s not the normal “booty-booty” bathing suit shoots she normally does. This one is classy. It’s lingerie. Malaysia comes by to see the real Draya. Draya apologizes for being overly familiar with her gynecology jokes towards Malaysia at the BET party. Malaysia accepts her apology, and she tells Draya that she doesn’t think she’s a jump-off/groupie. Like Draya, Malaysia started her career out in videos. Of the music variety? Draya isn’t happy to hear that the other women were discussing her potential invitation to Jackie’s wedding.

Imani takes two of her children to paint pottery. I am under the impression that both of these kids belong to Stephen, although VH1 keeps bleeping out his name. She quickly glosses over a fourteen-year-old from a previous relationship, but that still leaves one child unaccounted for in the family equation. Her seven-year-old daughter is not her dad’s biggest fan, but to her younger son, he can do no wrong. Imani asks the kids if she should start dating again. I think they just want her to be quiet so they can finish their masterpieces.

Who is that I see? Why, it’s my gal Suzie! She clearly didn’t get enough air time on BW: Miami is in town to see her brother graduate. Suzie meets Gloria for a drink and wants to know the scoop on all the L.A. ladies, especially Draya. Who does she think she’s going to be able to gossip to here? Is Tami making a cameo later? Nevertheless, Gloria dishes on the Draya drama. Suzie advises her friend how hard it is to stay out of drama while waxing poetic about how tame Miami seems compared to this group. Gloria doesn’t miss the Miami ladies, so she’s fine being in Los Angeles.

Gloria and Imani meet Jackie for lunch to discuss her next wedding. Imani thinks it’s beautiful that Jackie, who clearly needs to be in charge all the time, lets Doug wear the pants in the relationship. She also marvels at the fact that Doug loves her so much he is immune to groupies–what a love story! Seriously? Does Imani consider her statements to be compliments? The three give some insight into the tortured and misunderstood lives of basketball wives.

The cast is arriving in Vegas for Jackie and Doug’s sweet sixteenth wedding. Wedding planner Wade is showing Jackie the layout for the ceremony, and she gets very upset about her mother Skyping in as her maid of honor. She and Doug discuss her mother’s fears about dying, and it is truly heartbreaking to see someone having to face such a loss.

Gloria and Imani visit with Jackie as she’s getting made up for her big night. Gloria asks who all is coming and seems a bit stunned when Jackie says that Draya made the guest list. “Um, how, when did that happen?” Perhaps if you’d made an appearance last episode Gloria, you’d know these little things. Jackie tells Gloria that she invited Draya as a tribute to her, as Gloria was the one who invited Draya into the group. I think that Gloria is hoping the ladies forget sooner rather than later that she is link between Draya and the rest of the cast.

All of the ladies are waiting impatiently for Draya to arrive before Jackie walks down the aisle. Joke’s on them though, as Draya stayed back in L.A. to do more mature things. And by mature, she means she’s getting a full on lady bits wax with several friends as her audience. Because her non-basketball wife friends are anything but prunes. Prunes? Oh, prudes. Draya didn’t go to the wedding because she feels Jackie’s invitation was a dis if she had to get so many opinions before asking Draya if she’d like to come.

The ceremony starts, and I have to admit I got misty seeing the image of her sick mother on the laptop. When asked by the officiant if he’d take Jackie to be his wife, Doug yells at the computer, “You’re damn right, mom!” I heart Doug. He really seems to love his wife and her family. Plus, he just made me laugh realizing that I was getting teary at an episode of Basketball Wives: L.A. I repeat, I was getting teary at an episode of Basketball Wives: L.A. What is my hardened and cynical world coming to? And then Doug loses it while saying his personal vows. Damn Doug, you were supposed to be bringing the Lolz so I wouldn’t be (let’s all say it together now) GETTING TEARY AT AN EPISODE OF BASKETBALL WIVES!! Thanks a lot, Doug.

At the reception, the ladies are enjoying themselves. It takes a while for Jackie to realize that Draya is M.I.A., and Laura thinks it is pretty rude that Draya couldn’t have called to say she couldn’t make it. Jackie’s feelings are hurt, and I think Gloria is feeling a tad guilty for bringing Draya into the mix.

Next week, Imani breaks down while out with the ladies, while Laura is in need of some male attention. Jackie confronts Draya about her absence at the wedding.