Mob Wives Chicago Recap: The Permed Peace Maker

VH1 seems to have learned that viewers are getting a bit testy with the violence.  Last night’s Mob Wives Chicago, while expletive-filled, had no hair pulling, eye scratching, or table jumping.  Refreshing!  You have to throw in one calm episode every once in a while, right?

Christina Scoleri and Leah Disimone meet for brunch, and Christina reveals to Leah that she met up with Pia Rizza.  Their accents are killing me, and almost every other word of Leah’s is bleeped.  Christina believes that meeting up with Pia was a huge wasted of time.  After bleeping about Pia for a bit, they switch gears to start talking bleep about Nora Schweihs.  Leah blames Nora for the friendship break down between Christina and Pia.

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Pia meets Nora for a drink, and she tells her side of the story.  Pia doesn’t know why she just can’t catch a break.  Renee Fecarotta Russo has been giving her a hard time as well, but Pia wants to attempt to start a friendship with her since Renee is so close with Nora.  She knows that Renee isn’t too keen on Pia’s stripping gig, but Pia is hoping that she can look past that and get to know the real Pia…the Pia who wears clothes and isn’t twisting around on a pole.

Renee, meanwhile, is stressing about the custody dispute she is in with her ex regarding her youngest daughter.  We meet Renee’s boyfriend Dave Giangrande.  Together they own Eye Candy Optics.  They sell prescription eyeglasses.  It’s very mob.  Renee admits that working and living with Dave while in this custody battle has put a major strain on their relationship.  Pia walks in with her daughter Bella, and Renee’s non-poker face says it all.  She doesn’t want to be associated with Pia in any way, shape, or form.  Of course, since this is her place of business, she tries her best to be professional.  Pia invites Renee to lunch and is dropping the f-bomb left and right.  Renee is appalled and should never play cards for money. Seriously, how can Pia not see how much she disgusts Renee?  Renee hesitantly agrees to lunch, and Dave joins the conversation.  Apparently he and Pia are old friends.  The way they are giggling with each other, there could possibly be some history there.

Renee and Christina meet for lunch, and Christina informs her new friend that her old friend Leah will be joining them.  Leah arrives in all of her permed, feathered, neon pink sequins and metallic Members Only jacket glory.  She looks like an extra from Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, only much older.  Renee and Leah bond over Renee’s love of Leah’s curls.  Renee tells the story of Pia’s visit to eye candy.  She really doesn’t want to hang out with a stripper.  While Leah isn’t a fan of how Pia treated Christina, she doesn’t think Renee should judge how Pia chooses to make a living.  Renee shares her concerns as to how Pia knows Dave, and again Leah thinks Pia is harmless in that regard as well.  Renee fully intends to take up Pia on her lunch invitation so that she can ask her point blank about Dave.  Leah is quickly losing her love for Renee…she is so sick of the Pia drama.

Nora’s best friend Julie is visiting from Florida, and she invites Pia to come over and meet her old pal.  Nora explains that she is going to do a memorial dinner on her father’s birthday.  In the next breath, she questions Pia as to how she knows Dave.  Apparently she’s been chatting with Renee as well. Pia reveals that they were neighborhood friends.  Period.  End of story.  Across town, Renee is getting dolled up for a dinner with Dave.  I can only imagine how much perfume this woman goes through in a month.  She starts in immediately about how Dave knows Pia.  It better not be from the pole!  He tells Renee that they were friends who grew up together.  Dave didn’t know she was a stripper, and he’s never seen her strip.  Renee doesn’t believe a word that comes out of his mouth, and she totally loses it when Dave tells her that Pia is actually a really nice girl.  She instructs him to leave, and when he does, she states that dudes only run away when they are guilty…or perhaps when ordered.

Nora, Julie, Pia, and Renee are having a luncheon to celebrate the life of Nora’s dad.  Renee is conspicuously running late.  Nora is getting very heated about how rude it is for Renee to be late to her dad’s memorial.  When Renee arrives, both Pia and Julie try to help her with excuses about how bad traffic in the city is, but Nora isn’t softening.  Even with Pia having her back, Renee is quick to tell her that they need to have a little chat, although this isn’t the appropriate time.  Julie interrupts to tell Nora how proud her father is of her.  Apparently Julie hears the whispers of dead people.  Alison Dubose, you’ve got competition!  Renee is livid.  She realizes that Julie is wearing a shirt that she loaned Nora months ago, and she’s out of there.

Leah approaches Christina about having dinner with Pia.  Leah doesn’t like that there is so much of a mess with the ladies, and she plans to restore the peace.  Leah isn’t taking no for an answer.  She wants to get rid of the tension and drama.  Leah is totes angling to be Chicago’s Big Ang.

Renee and Pia meet for lunch, and Renee immediately starts in on her language in Candy Eye Optics.  Doesn’t Pia realize that an eyeglasses store is not the same thing as a strip club?  Next on the agenda, Renee accuses Pia of either having dated or slept with Dave.  Pia is floored.  They grew up as friends, and whoever told Renee that she slept with Dave is delusional…um, no one told her that.  It’s just Renee’s hunch.  Renee doesn’t believe that Pia is telling the truth.  She talks smack about Pia being a stripper and insists that she’s better than Pia.  When Pia is done being insulted, she walks away from the table stating that she won’t be spoken to with such disrespect.  Well, we all know what Renee thinks of people who leave the table when constantly berated.  Guilty!

Pia dines with her friend Frankie to rehash her lunch with Renee.  Pia just wants to be seen as a person, not as the daughter of a rat or what she does for a living.  She thinks her father is a scumbag, and we learn that it was Pia’s father who ratted out Frankie’s dad and sent him to jail.  If Frankie can still be friends with her, why can’t these other ladies just have a civil coffee date with her?

Leah meets Pia for a cocktail in hopes of creating a truce between Pia and Christina.  Leah tries to talk about Pia’s situation with Christina, and she gets frustrated when she excuses Nora for talking smack about her behind her back.  Leah is floored…why can’t Pia see that Nora is just stirring the pot regarding Pia’s friendship with Christina?  Leah proposes that the four women meet for dinner to lay out all their issues on the table.  Pia agrees with a high five.  Um, okay.

Nora, Leah, Christina, and Pia meet for drinks.  Leah has gone to the extra trouble of slicking back her hair in the event of a brawl, but those giant earrings are going to be quite a hazard if things get physical.  Pia and Christina have a very tense conversation that seems to be going in a positive direction.  They both accept culpability for their behavior and vow to put it in the past.  Leah pats herself on the back for a job well done…and promptly starts in on Nora for being so ugly to her at the Italian-fest.  What is up with Leah’s eyeshadow.  Nora’s excuse is that she doesn’t talk to strangers.  Leah doesn’t quite buy what she’s selling.  Nora promises to be more open to Leah in the future.  The episode actually ends with the ladies toasting and enjoying the evening.  Shocking!

Next week, Nora gets a crazy voicemail (presumably from Renee) which she shares with Pia.  She later accuses a screaming Renee of going off the deep end.  Renee then goes after Nora and her hair.

WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE?  DO YOU THINK RENEE IS JUST BEING PARANOID ABOUT DAVE AND PIA?  ARE YOU STARTING TO LIKE LEAH AS MUCH AS I AM?

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