Teen Mom 2 Recap: Priorities

Every week I get a little more frustrated with these girls of Teen Mom 2.  MTV is paying them, and they are learning nothing except how to be more whiny and entitled.  I really think the network should incorporate some kind of weekly therapy session for Jenelle Evans, Chelsea Houska, Leah Messer, and Kailyn Lowry to make it a little more relevant and a little less rewarding immaturity and bad behavior.  Anyone agree?

Case in point, we begin with Chelsea trying to tame her peroxide weave while lamenting about taking her GED practice test in the following week.  She really needs to study, but she has way more important things to do…like plan Aubree's birthday party, attend freeloading Adam Lind's motocross race, and devise a plan to keep her dad from finding out that Adam is squatting on his dime.  Priorities, of course.  Of course, Chelsea's third priority didn't work out so well because she forgot her dad has a key to her house and decided to take a peek inside when he came to pick up Aubree.  She tries to act indignant, like what are you doing in my house?  I want him to retort with, um, it's actually my house considering I pay for it, but instead Randy promises her they will discuss the situation later.

Oh wait, Chelsea explains that she pays her own rent, so maybe I would be a tad upset if my dad busted in, but still.  She arrives at the race, and it's so pitiful to watch her try to kiss Adam and hold his hand while he totally brushes her off and then walks away.  Chelsea acts totally oblivious to his behavior. 


In Leah's world, she discusses the custody situation with her sister.  She admits to filing first for divorce in an effort to beat Corey to the punch, but now she wonders if Corey was just making empty threats.  It's something she'll never know.  Meanwhile Jenelle just can't stop the pot.  She doesn't want to continue with probation because then she'll be forced to continue with drug tests (which really cramps her pot smoking style), and won't be able to hang out with her pot smoking friends (which really cramps her social life given that her friends all love to get high).  Jenelle would rather go to jail.  She meets with former friend Tori.  The last time we saw her, she and Jenelle were duking it out after Jenelle was a less than stellar roommate.  Tori promises she will be there for Jenelle as long as Kieffer Delp isn't in the picture.  Jenelle extends the olive branch of KE$HA tickets to Tori and all is right with the world.

Kailyn is trying to work things out with Jordan, she can't help but think about Jo.  With the help of her friend, she begins stalking pictures of Jo and Vee online.  One picture's caption implies that Jo is drunk, and one quick look at the date confirms it was a time he was supposed to be with Isaac.  Busted.  Kailyn is livid!  She hates he has a new girlfriend!  She can't believe he left Isaac with his parents when he should be spending time with his son! 

Apparently Chelsea is hosting a teen mom play group.  Do all of her friends have kids?  She is whining yet again because her dad came over and made Adam leave and take all of his stuff with him.  Now Adam is once again blowing off Chelsea and her advances.  When will she realize that she is nothing to him but a free place to stay?  It's going to make Aubree's birthday party super awkward.  Oh how disturbing cute…Chelsea has taught her two-year-old how to booty dance. 


The stress of the divorce is going to be Leah's excuse for not going back to school.  She's meeting with Corey and is upset to hear that he's purchased a new truck.  When he hands her his child support check, she questions whether he can still afford to pay her given his new ride.  Corey snarks back that he needed something to keep him busy since his wife left him.  He starts dying laughing when she says she left because he was so adamant about getting a new truck.  She passive aggressively talks through her twins, saying they'd much rather have their parents together than their dad in a new truck.  Poor Corey.  You can tell how much he loves his girls.

Jenelle is partying up a storm…and why not?  She's already failed her drug test, and she needs to mentally prepare for the train wreck that will be the KE$HA concert.  Her attorney Dustin Sullivan calls and offers her again the choice of jail time or extended probation.  Dude, haven't you been listening to a thing your client says?  She can't stop smoking pot, so she can't keep taking drug tests.  Dustin believes she can quit, but Jenelle knows that she doesn't want to can't.  It makes me so mad to see how entitled she acts…Jenelle has been given yet another chance to make things right without going to jail, yet she acts like the option is so beneath her.  Jace, of course, is acting out as his mom cusses up a storm.  Barbara suggests a twelve-step program, but that's not Jenelle's "ideal fantasy."  Well, then, Barbara believes she needs to go to rehab, to which Jenelle responds that her mom is crazy.  What about NA?  God, Barbara, how stupid can you be?  Marijuana isn't a narcotic!  Good gravy, Jenelle has an answer for everything, doesn't she?  She storms out to go smoke more weed.  Wouldn't it solve all of Jenelle's problems if she just moved to Colorado?

Kailyn calls Jo to confront him about maybe being drunk when he was supposed to have Isaac…but really she wants to know the status of his relationship with this Vee chick.  It's so sadly transparent, and it didn't solve anything. 

Chelsea is trying to plan Aubree's party, but Adam is still ignoring her.  She calls yet again to get his voicemail, and she asks him if he wants to join her as she shops for the festivities.   He immediately texts back that he's busy.  When she asks if he still plans to attend the party, she gets an "I guess so."  Could she be more of an idiot?  Elsewhere, Leah is moping over that flipping truck.  All she wanted was a house first, truck second.  Leah keeps blaming Corey for not making things work.  Seriously, MTV…could you at least give me one girl with whom I can empathize?

Kailyn is meeting with a friend.  She wants to take Jo back to court since he is dating a new girl leaving Isaac with his parents during the time he has custody.  Kailyn admits that she is trying to work on things with Jordan because he's a good role model for Isaac, he's super supportive of her and clearly loves her, and he's a warm body.  Unfortunately for Kailyn though, he's not Jo.  Is she even listening to herself? 

Dustin meets Jenelle and Jase for lunch, and she won't even think about extending her probation.  Dustin has worked some magic and shaved the 45 day jail term down to sixteen.  There's only one glitch.  Her probation officer wants her to check in the day before the KE$HA concert.  Who saw that coming?  #sarcasm I think Dustin is trying his best not to bust out laughing in Jenelle's face when she asks him to see if she can postpone jail for a few days to go see her idol.  What a little ungrateful punk!  How about, thanks for cutting my jail time down to a third of my original sentence?  Oh no, you don't understand.  Jenelle has paid to have extra feathers put in her hair, purchased a new outfit, and booked a hotel room.  It's a done deal.  Dustin tries to nail home the point that if she does her sixteen days, all of her legal woes will be behind her and she'll be free to go see her idol another time.  Nope.  Jenelle is starting to consider extended probation in order to see the show.  So, let's recap…she'll quit smoking pot for KE$HA but not for her son.  Nice.

A whinier than normal Chelsea is preparing for Aubree's birthday.  Its a giant hot pink and leopard affair.  Chelsea's mom seems to have extra feathers in her hair as well, so perhaps she's joining Jenelle at the concert.  Adam seems to be a no show, but Chelsea doesn't care.  She doesn't even want to think about it…just talk about it incessantly and wonder aloud where he is while vowing to ignore him if he even arrives.  I have no words.

Kailyn's attorney has scheduled a mediation to work through Instagram-gate, and the pair is meeting beforehand to discuss their game plan.  Right now Kailyn has no weekend time with Isaac, so she is asking for every other weekend so she can spend time with him when she doesn't have school or work.  Her lawyer points out that this arrangement would give Jo a chance to have fun on the weekends without having to enlist his parents to baby-sit.  Of course, if Jo doesn't agree, they will all have to head back to court.  

This children exchange between Corey and Leah isn't going as smoothly as the last one.  A visibly upset Corey wants to know if the truck is really the reason Leah filed for divorce.  MTV, can we make a deal…when he's dipping, he needs subtitles, okay?  Another fight ensues where she blames him for not trying marriage counseling and he blames her for all of her behavior that would lead up to them needing marriage counseling.  

Adam is over two hours late for Aubree's party.  When she blows out her candles, Chelsea asks if she wishes Mommy and Daddy would be together.  Gag.  Aubree is excited about her Barbie jeep, and Adam hopes she'll equally love the pink bicycle he has gotten for her.  Adam is taking Aubree for the afternoon, and Chelsea's baby talk starts kicking as she tries to one up Adam regarding Aubree's excitement to his gift.  Is this hour almost over?

Oh Jenelle.  She never got the chance to choose between KE$HA and jail because her probation officer surprised her with a random drug test which clearly Jenelle failed.  I can't say I blame her probation officer one bit.  Here he (or she) is, trying to give Jenelle the best deal possible, and she ungratefully drags her feet.  Well, it's landed Jenelle in the pokey.  She calls her mom to bail her out of jail, but Barbara refuses.  Good for her.  

Kailyn returns from meeting with her attorney, and sweet Jordan has been baby-sitting.  She is confident that Jo will comply with her requests.  Leah and Corey head back to court to finalize their divorce, and someone needs to tell Corey how to dress appropriately for certain situations.  Both Corey and Leah are on the verge of tears after the judge agrees to the terms.  Man, I feel badly for them, and by them, I mean Corey.  At least camo hat has returned to console his old buddy.

Next week, Jo doesn't take kindly to Kailyn's demands, and Leah vows to be a different person.  Chelsea and friends attend a Dierks Bentley concert, and Jenelle gets out of jail so she can yell at her mother some more.  Good times!


[Photo Credit: MTV]