Shahs Of Sunset Recap: Whiskey Makes You Frisky… And Stupid

This season on Shahs of SunsetReza Farahan faces a "gaylife crisis," Asa Soltan Rahmati redefines "financial crisis," Mercedes "MJ" Javid searches for a man, Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi fails to act like a big girl despite pursuing a big-girl job, Mike Shouhed finds "the one," and newcomer Lilly Ghalichi thinks they're all nuts.

Reza Farahan opens season two, gushing about the new girl in his life. She doesn't straighten her hair, she doesn't pluck her eyebrows, she's not hung up on designers clothes… she's GG Asa Soltan Rahmati. Hanging at Asa's reclaimed home, the two bond over floors, unkempt eyebrows, and one very special toilet. Reza spies the work of art, freaks, and says, "This bitch has, like, a $4,000 toilet. That toilet had a little midget in it that will lick your butt clean when you're done pooping." 

Asa is stressed about money. She has $500 in her bank account and needs to find a source of income in the next few days. This admission comes not even a minute after she boasts about tiling her floors in $30,000 worth of gold coins, which she probably washes with diamond water. Rich/not rich people are confusing. 

MJ Javid drives her mom and her Mom's bird off a cliff to the bird sitter's house. After hearing about Vida's upcoming month-long vacation (hence the bird sitter), MJ approaches the idea of a family vacation. Vida tells MJ that she'd rather put needles into her eyes than go on vacation with her. Lovely. To retaliate, MJ encourages her dog to terrorize her mom's bird. Personally, I would have pulled over, while purposely failing to signal, and dumped the mom and her stupid bird on the side of the road. 


GG Gharachedaghi visits her sister, Leila. GG and Leila "run" GG's Extensions together. GG explains that Leila is in charge of the finances, she's in charge of marketing and advertisement. In one scene GG says she's excited about working, and Leila announces that GG's has dropped the ball in the next. GG responds the only way she knows how, she deflects responsibility. She asks Leila, "What do I need to do?" Leila says you're in charge of marketing – go market the product! GG argues that she doesn't know how to market anything. Leila tells GG that it's time she grew up.

Behind the scenes, Leila quips that GG's hardest task every day is figuring out what outfits she's going to wear. 

Leila walks away. An annoyed GG says that Leila is just trying to make herself look good and GG look bad. In reality, GG wants Leila to baby her because this business venture is her first real job. GG acts Leila to remember back to how she felt at her very first job, and Leila is like, seriously? My first job was at 16, not 30. Behind the scenes, GG says, "I wish I can say the reason my sister is being so crazy is because she's hormonal from her pregnancy, but she's just a bitch." I say, good for Leila for speaking her mind. Now, the rest of GG's family needs to stop enabling her brattiness.

The Mike Shouhed and Reza bromance is back and in full force. While Mike and Reza bond over the "crazy shit" that white people do, GG is still whining because her sister wants her to act like an adult. Omid, a long-time friend, tells GG that working with a sibling is not easy, but, if she and Leila can get on the same page, they'd be unstoppable. 

The aforementioned bird sitter is MJ's uncle. While MJ's family is gathered for dinner, Vida announces that she's going to vacation for six months, instead of one month. An emotional MJ talks about her mom behind the scenes, saying, that she's always been over critical, overwhelming, and overbearing. While MJ talks to her family about enduring her mom's hate-speak, Vida checks her lipstick via a shiny butter knife. MJ asks her mom, "How many daughters will accept that much opposition and then still be humble enough to come back and say, 'Mom, you're right.'" Vida responds, "Oooh humble enough? (mockingly) Then don't come back." Vida's insults continue.. MJ starts to cry… Vida says to her, "All you ever do is drink wine and cry." Vida leaves the room. MJ's cousin tells her that she's never going to get her mother's approval and perhaps it's time to let go.

Lilly Ghalichi makes her debut. Reza describes his latest client/obsession as a Persian Princess, rail thin, super rich, and Texan. Reza says, "Lilly is so skinny that it excites me. Like, I just dream, please let me wake up one day and be rail thin … Just because I want to skin her and wear her as her as an overcoat doesn't mean I'm obsessed with Lilly." In other news, Reza reveals that he's dating a new man, though they're not exclusive. 

Sammy Younai Dropped From Shahs Of Sunset Season 2

Meanwhile, Mike attends a baby shower… and kind of looks cute carrying a big stuffed zebra. After Manny, Mike's friend, gives him a tour of his mansion, Mike feels jealous. While Mike had assumed that he came to the United States with money, Manny tells him how he struggled to make money for his family at just 14 years old. Mike realizes, at 14, his biggest worry was how soon could he skip class and get high. After hearing Manny's story, Mike feel inspired to rebuild his empire. 

Asa hopes to book a gig with fashion designer Michael Costello. Asa makes quite a few demands of Michael's people, including traveling business class and a $15,000 paycheck. Michael's people say they don't know if they can meet her demands, but Asa remains hopeful.

Next, Reza visits MJ. Reza tells MJ that she kind of looks like a bunny… he quickly says, a sexy bunny! Reza helps MJ set up an online dating profile. He suggests user names such as Middle Eastern Big Jugs and Cute Middle Eastern with Bunny Lashes. MJ shoots down both suggestions, but they settle on Persian Cupcake. Reza raises an eyebrow at Reza's high standards. Behind the scenes, Reza says, "Bitch, you basically have three people on Earth that you're going to be able to date, and you've already boned two of them." 

How cute is Lilly's dog? Poor Coconut had a seizure as a baby, and now she moves in left circle spins. It's equally fascinating and sad.

Asa wants to celebrate all the good things happening in her life – like financial that financial crisis? – so she invites her friends to dinner in Beverly Hills. GG brings Omid, and we learn that Mike knows Omid. He says he's a player. Omid appoints himself "life of the party" and annoys everyone with his obnoxious laugh. Asa tells Omid that she cannot sit next to him because she's a singer and his laugh is too loud. GG gets pissed, saying, "I personally want to pluck Asa's eyebrows off her forehead for saying that my friend Omid is loud and annoying." Out of nowhere, Asa tells Omid that she appreciates his big nose and thanks him for not getting a nose job (like everyone else sharing their dinner table). 
Reza brings Lilly to the dinner party, to introduce his newest obsession to his best friends. While Mike looks pleased about Lilly's presence, MJ is visually upset. Mike says, "Reza is the biggest f-ing shit stirrer I've ever met in my life. He's got this evil smirk, like, haha, look at my new toy." Asa tells Lilly that she looks like a Persian Barbie, Lilly graciously thanks her. GG loves women like Lilly… she says now. Compared to Lilly, GG looks like an angry dog. I give GG one week or an extended sober streak before she turns into a crazy-jealous mean girl.
Omid and GG are acting like idiots while Asa tries to give a speech. Reza is mortified by their drunken, slutty behavior. MJ urges GG to drink water, saying, "I want her not to, like, be at Cedars Sinai in two minutes." Mike responds, "Don't worry. She's going to be in Omid's bed, not Cedars Sinai."

GG leaves the room, saying she needs a break. Omid catches a clue and realizes that everyone blames him for their disgusting behavior. To no one in particular, Omid says, "Am I being attacked? What's up with this? Should I f-ing Ric Flair the shit out these motherf**kers, man?" 

Lilly speaks up, telling Omid, "That was so disrespectful and trashy. You've clearly had one too many drinks. The sober people cannot understand what the drunk people are trying to say. You don't have to be disrespectful and act like you're going to raise a hand on a woman, You should have more class than that. And you shouldn't make a joke that you are going to raise a hand on a woman." Mike apologizes on Omid's behalf and drags him out of the room. Mike comes back and says, "I'm 100% siding with you guys, but don't egg him on." Lilly says, "I'm not egging him on, but I'm not going sit here and get disrespected as a woman." 

Lilly cannot believe that these are the friends Reza was so excited for her to meet. Lilly better embrace the crazy soon, or she, too, will be spinning in left-hand circles. And with that boob/hair to body ratio, that could be dangerous. Outside the restaurant, Omid and GG stumble their way to a taxi. 


Photo credit: Bravo