Sister Wives Recap: They’re Ba—-ack!!

kody boyfriend

So we've got a new opener for Sister Wives…not the words, but at least the outfits. That's a plus right? Some wives are happy while the others are doing what they should be doing…freaking out at the revelation that they are in this polygamist situation while cameras watch…

Several children and Meri Brown are celebrating their birthdays. If you ever have enough children to infringe on your special day MORE THAN ONCE, I'd venture to say you're having too many children. Kody Brown is grilling out for the birthdays, and in anticipation of his birthday and his anniversary with Janelle. Christine could care less about birthdays, she just wants to grow My Sister Wives Closet with some investors. Gracious. There are people who want to put their money into this situation? Christine is channeling her inner Martha Stewart when thinking about what "their brand" can accomplish.

Kody and his hair are stressing about his wife house jumping, and Robyn Sullivan Brown is all about Kody bonding with her kids. Robyn and Kody bicker about her son having Aspergers. She wants to do what's best for him, while Kody thinks it was a ridiculous diagnosis. Let's forget about that gem for a bit, because there are a lot of birthday and anniversary celebrations to tend to in the meantime. Meri loves Keith Urban and she does everything in her power to straighten Kody's hair so he can be the Australian prototype she wants. At least line dancing is good for something!

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Mykelti has a new boyfriend, and said boyfriend tries to provide a good impression when he comes to hang out with the family. Kody wakes up from being passed out on the sofa in nap mode, and I'm mortified for Mykelti for having to sit through the "no hand-holding, no kissing" lecture that Kody is waxing poetic about. It's biological. Kissing is dangerous. Mykelti's poor boyfriend looks like a deer in headlights. He seems to be a stand-up guy, but in the land of scripture, Mykelti is screwed. Speaking of scripture, Kody knows that kissing and hand-holding is a major vice, but he's happy to let the kids think about it while he deals out a hand of poker for his older children. #hypocrite

Meri and Kody butt heads over some issues with contractors. Meri is in tears and Kody is pissed that he hasn't had more input. There is a full on argument between Meri and Kody–when does that happen–and Meri actually defies Kody at every turn. It's the only time I've been Team Meri. Kody can't be concerned about Meri's stance because he's getting ready to celebrate his anniversary with Janelle. Janelle loves Kody's hair in a ponytail, but his kids…not so much.

On their date night, Kody and Janelle head to a romantic dinner where Kody talks too much about Janelle's weight loss while creepily holding her hand. They head home early before escaping to bed for, what Kody calls, a more romantic relationship. Dear TLC, have you ever heard of TMI?

Robyn, not wanting to be left out of the family drama, calls Kody over to her house. She threatens him with the idea that she won't have any more children if he keeps making her be the rock that is My Sister Wives Closet. Do they really need more kids? Are they trying to compete with the Duggars? The following day, Kody and his wives meet with some potential business people who could hook up the family with venture capitalists (read: idiots with money). The family is totally unprepared for the meeting. They have no presentation, no power point, no answers to the most basic questions. It's actually kind of hilarious to watch. Robyn is offended. When is she not?

Happy birthday, Kody! He is happy to spend his big day with his giant family, but he's also secretly thrilled to be the center of attention one more year. Geez, Kody loves some attention, doesn't he? Meri is fearful of taking Robyn aside to share that she's going back to college. Meri know that Robyn will think that she's abandoning My Sister Wives Closet. Robyn lays on a guilt trip, and I have to wonder when a cheap online jewelry boutique that makes NO MONEY trumps finishing college. Gah, Robyn. This is why people don't like you. Meri feel horrible, but let's be honest, going back to college will get her out of this polygamist scenario a lot quicker than hocking fake silver to randoms. 

TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S PREMIERE? 

 

[Photo Credit: TLC]

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