lhh hollywood soulja boy

On last night’s Love & Hip Hop Hollywood, we got to see more than our fair share of silly altercations. This show has just become a “lather, rinse, repeat” cycle…one that Mona knows best. However, I do like an episode that shows Soulja Boy’s boyish charm (did I really just type that and mean it?) and Omarion in any capacity!

When the episode starts, Apryl and Omarion are practicing birthing techniques with the help of a midwife, but Apryl is getting more and more freaked out by the idea of a home birth. Omarion want his son to be circumcised, but Apryl challenges him to strip off the turtleneck from his own manhood when their son goes under the knife. Omarion begrudgingly agrees–if his newborn son is man enough to undergo the procedure, he is too. He shares that he told his mom to apologize to Apryl for her behavior at the shower. Apryl agrees to listen to what Leslie has to say, but she’s not burying the hatchet yet.


After her showcase misfire, Teairra is willing to work on her music and her body in order to get back into the game. She loves the song Berg has provided, and even though their past is rocky, Berg is feeling some crazy chemistry with Teairra.  Of course, she’s fine with the flirting, but she hopes he keeps his hands to himself. Bless him. 

Whiny Ray-J is beyond angry that Yesi planted a seed in Morgan’s head that she wanted to be more than his assistant. He comes to her place of business and accuses Yesi of getting Morgan fired because she encouraged her to be more than his assistant. Ray-J then gets angry because in addition to causing a rift with Morgan, Yesi hasn’t been playing his new single on the radio. Ahh yes. Now we get to the root of Ray-J’s tantrum. When he gets a bit aggressive, security intervenes, and Ray’s meltdown gets bigger and more ridiculous. Good luck trying to fight the security guy, Ray. 

Hazel is also back in the studio with an Ode to Berg, and Masika, who is visiting, wonders why Hazel thinks that she is going to win Berg’s heart with a ridiculous rap. Masika can’t be bothered with Hazel’s romantic delusions, and she quickly fills in her “friend” on her future as the face of some Vegas strip club…which happens to be housed in a building owned by the family of her nemesis Nikki. Across town, Nia is chatting with her sisters about her future with Soulja Boy. Her family hasn’t really met Soulja yet, and she wants to get their opinion on her moving in with him. One sister wants to know why, after eight years (EIGHT? Did they start dating when they were five?), Nia finally wants to introduce Soulja into the family. Nia admits that she’s a bit worried about telling their father. 

So after Ray-J’s debacle at the radio station, media outlets are reporting on his arrest, which includes him spitting on cops and allegedly kicking out the window of a patrol car. He admits that he’s angry (who wouldn’t be?), but he doesn’t want to ever go back to jail. He knows he’s embarrassed his mom and sister Brandi, who is really the only legitimately famous person in his family. He’s enlisted his friend and manager Cash to pick him up from his first ever afternoon in the clink. Apparently, Ray-J wasn’t arrested after his tantrum at the radio station, but he was accosted by someone at a bar who threatened him with a citizen’s arrest. If I had a dollar for every time Ray-J talked about being “turnt up” (whether good or bad), I’d be rich. Cash seems to think that Ray-J has a drinking problem. Ray-J disagrees. He thinks he has a problem with people who mess with him while he’s drinking. He refuses to take responsibility for any of his behavior, and he sounds like an immature dolt. Someone needs to sign on Cash for one of VH1’s many hard-knocks therapy shows. He’d be a great counselor doling out the tough love!

Over lunch, Soulja questions why Nia hasn’t told her family that she’s moving into his house. After eight years, he’s still never met her famous father. Soulja wants to know what Nia’s father will think of him. Nia knows what happens on the road with groupies–her father has ten kids with a bunch of ladies. Ten kids? Seeing Soulja learn this news is hilarious. He practically falls out of his chair. I find it humorous that after eight years of on-and-off dating, Soulja is just now hearing of his girlfriend’s large family. 

Teairra is worried about her former beau Ray, and she reaches out to Cash to express her concern. He wonders why the two crazy kids broke up in the first place. Um, not sure, but I think it had something to do with the “crazy.” Cash thinks the former duo needs closure…Teairra may agree. Meanwhile, Leslie comes by to “apologize,” and Apryl expresses hurt over Leslie calling her an unfit mother. After some initial cattiness, Leslie tries to explain that she’s not trying to be disrespectful. She’s just excited about her son’d first baby mama…implying that there may be other baby mothers. After an epic guilt trip, Apryl extends the invitation for Leslie to be present at the birth of her grandson. Well played, Leslie. Well played.

After eight short years, Nia is introducing her father to Soulja Boy. Soulja is a giggly ball of nerves, and he’s pretty precious. Teddy Riley doesn’t want to see his daughter in an on-and-off relationship. Soulja professes his love, and Teddy excuses his daughter so the two can have a man-to-man conversation. Dad’s first question out of the gate? Did Soulja have relations with his daughter on the night they met. Soulja’s answer? “I want to say no.” Teddy knows how Soulja is living, as he’s lived it himself. Soulja admits his mistakes with drugs and groupies, and Teddy wants to know how he plans to stay on the straight and narrow while he’s on tour. Soulja wants to prove he’s worthy of Teddy’s approval.

Teairra’s chat with Cash has encouraged her to reach out with Ray-J. He’s sullen and passive aggressive. Par for the course. He is such a little punk. Teairra tries to reach out and share her concern, but Ray basically negates their relationship to a short period of time when they “hooked up” casually. He is a giant bag of D. I hope he runs from a season two, as being showcased like this is in no way helping his reputation (does he have one?). Speaking of dysfunctional relationships, Hazel is meeting with Berg to share her new record where she bares her soul. He is not happy with her lyrics, and he wonders why she’s writing about him like a muppet in heat. They were friends with benefits. End of story. Hazel then accuses Berg of tossing her to the side for Teairra. He taunts her until she strikes and is pulled out of the car by production assistants. As she’s pulled out of the car, and I think Berg needs to contemplate pulling up his saggy britches!


[Photo Credit: VH1]